Thursday, 29 October 2009
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Do Firsts Mean Less to Guys?
I've been crushing a little on one of my good guy friends, although I'm not sure if I want to get into a serious relationship right now since I recently got out of a long, abusive relationship. I'd really love to be able to cuddle with him and maybe kiss him, but one thing that's holding me back is the fact that I don't want to steal away his "first kiss" - the boy's never kissed a girl before.
The guy I was with during that abusive relationship had the privilege of taking away a couple of my "firsts" since he was my first boyfriend. Now that I look back on the relationship, I really regret giving those away to him since now that I look back on the relationship, he didn't truly love me and take care of me. I wish I could take back the things I let him do, and share my "firsts" with a guy who treats me well.
I talked to my friend about my little crush and how I would feel bad about stealing a guy's first kiss when we aren't even remotely in love. She told me that I was just being silly and that guys tend to not place as huge emphasis on their firsts as girls do, and that I should just go for it.
I'm still unsure about what to do - he's a pretty good friend, and I wouldn't want him regretting that his first kiss was with a girl he wasn't in a loving relationship with.
What do you think? Do guys not mind it as much as girls do when their first kisses (or first anythings) aren't with someone they're in a serious relationship with?
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- From: gatorgirl54@xanga
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Comments (60)
I'm sure he would be excited for a first kiss. Your friend is right. The only true first that guys will place emphasis on is losing their virginity. While there are guys who just don't really care, there are the others who do. So, go ahead and go to town with this boy.
I think it depends on the individual. Just ask him if he'll let you then do it, if not then well you can't do it haha. Some guys want it to be someone special, and others just don't care...
Personally, it doesn't matter to me as long as the girl was cute and pretty. I had my first kiss with a girl when I was drunk and she was hot. Of course, I thought differently of it the morning after....
Some guys do think it's important. I think the best thing to do would be to talk to him about things.
it depends on the guy.
some guys are players and care more about the notches on their bedpost, and there are guys out there who do care about firsts.
everyone remembers their "firsts".
As Saelee said, it depends on the individual. I personally still remember my first kiss, it was pleasant, but nothing special. I was rather let down actually. I thought kissing was going to explode my face or something.
You know. If he wants to kiss you, let him kiss you. He will when he feels ready. You can't live afraid to steal someone's heart. There are a million firsts in everyones life. It's like saying you aren't going to go outside because a car might hit you. haha. Go for it! =)
Haha. My first kiss and my first "sex" was very memorial. I am a guy myself, and I have to admit. My first kiss was with my first girlfriend back in the days, and it was really great. It meant a lot to me 'cause she even said: "Wow, not bad!" and that made my ego rise up to the sky.
Definitely depends on the individual. I remember my first everything's. They were all important, but also they were all disappointing heh. I think if someone puts too much emphasis on their firsts they'll generally be let down. Just take his first kiss and then you'll always be ingrained in his life heh.
welll, i would just be careful in case he actually likes you and sees it as a lead to a relationship, you know? if its clear that its just a casual kiss, it's possibly different.
idk, i'd just worry about leading him on or something. i'm not a casual hook-up type person though, so i dont really know how much communication goes on about that sort of thing...
Yeh! I've wondered this as well. Maybe some care and some don't. And girls are probably like that too, although more care because of those soppy romantic movies. Haha. I dunno. Good question, good post.
Firsts aren't the most important.
And if he really likes you he won't regret kissing you for the first time. Firsts are awkward. I like the second time I do something better.
I agree with the others...it depends on the guy...I didnt think much of my first kiss. I was actually caught off guard, cause it wasnt my advancement. I wont speak for the rest of the male population, but I personally dont think first kisses leave that much of an impression. Virginity? Yes. Kisses? I dont think they're that big of a deal....just my opinion.
@DeathzDezign@xanga - Virginity in 2009 shouldn't be a very big deal / issue. Off topic, but, seriously...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcggr_23WJU
Don't give away that piece of the pie.
You don't really know if it's important to him or not. I don't think most guys really care about first kisses. It might be nice for it to be with a close friend - someone he knows well, trusts and is comfortable with. Let him be the one to decide if you would be "stealing" his first kiss or not. Let him know how you feel, but let him be the one to lean into the kiss - that way it's his decision, and you can't blame yourself.
@laytexduckie@xanga - agree on that.
and why feel bad kissing him? because he is not in love with you? then make him like you! it is not like you go kiss-rape him.
i dont think it's that bad
cause he's probably going to want to do it with you if you're in some sort of a relo
but im just wondering, why get into a relationship you know is going to end?
meh maybe its just me
x
for either gender, i think it depends on the individual.
I don't even remember who my first kiss was...so I hope that helps you out.
It could be possible to some guys that the first kiss could mean a lot to them, but I think it does depend mostly on gender and the relationship.
Person experience, I've last kissed a girl when I was about 12 or 13 and we were falling in love, but I didn't really took it seriously and the relationship was a secret, so it didn't really matter to me then.
I guess the stronger the kiss, the better.
"The guy I was with during that abusive relationship had the privilege
of taking away a couple of my "firsts" since he was my first boyfriend.
Now that I look back on the relationship, I really regret giving those
away to him since now that I look back on the relationship, he didn't
truly love me and take care of me. I wish I could take back the things
I let him do, and share my "firsts" with a guy who treats me well."
Wow, took those words out of my mouth, same experienced, so I know how it feels. I'm sorry to hear that.
In terms of your question, depends on that individual. Is he a guy that cares much about these things or no?Does he even like you that much? How much? It might make a difference that if he does care about these things, he would want the first kiss to be with someone special and wants to be in a serious relationship with.
The best thing to do is since he's such a good friend already, talk to him about it and see what he's thinking & his comfort level. If he's down for it, go for it ^-^~~ Best of luck! =)
virginity if he's not getting a lot of action
I've always thought about this. And the older I get, the more hesistant I become to approach guys who haven't experienced their firsts. I figure, if they've waited this long, it's either they're waiting for the right person to come along to experience their first with (which might just be you!), or that you're the only person who finds him attractive while everyone else finds him repulsive. Haha.
how could a guy be abusive towards an angel like you.