You know how people, such as parents or guardians, have always told you that you're too young to commit to somebody and fall in love?
Right now, this is the situation I'm in. I'm fifteen years old, and I'm in tenth grade. A couple years back, I would have thought that this was really old and this is when we'd all start maturing. I was pretty wrong. I'm still me, just a little older. I see myself still as a young person, although each day I'm nearing closer to graduation.
I believe when an adult, specifically my mother and my aunt, tell me that I'm too young to have a boyfriend don't really know me that well. I'm not sure what others think, but I'm pretty mature for my age. I will not say that I love somebody when I don't. I may not know what it's like to be married, or in a ten year relationship, but I do know what it's like to unconditionally love somebody.
I know what some of you must be thinking. "Hold up, she just said she's fifteen, and she apparently unconditionally loves somebody!?"
Yeah, I do. My boyfriend and I have been together for nine months this Thursday. Nine months is a long time in high school when you're facing drama and betrayal... especially since everybody just seems to be cheating on each other nowadays.
Personally, I have never felt this way before. Never have I felt so comfortable with a guy who I truly cared for in every single way. We have had deep conversations, from family to religion, we are completely ourselves ridiculously. We sing terribly together and make utterly embarrassing photos together that we'd never show to anybody else. We joke around together that I can only joke around with others on a specific level.
I am young, so is he (we're the same age) but he is perfect. He is my best friend. I don't just say that because he's my boyfriend. I do believe that if you truly love your boyfriend, he should also be a best friend. But he is my best friend because I can tell him anything and he'll give me his straight up honest opinion. We will fight like no other but we cannot be torn apart.
I'm very introspective, meaning I'm a deep thinker. I believe there's a difference between loving somebody and being in love with somebody. Right now, I love him to the highest point I could before being in love. I don't know what it's like to be in love. Maybe I already am, but since I honestly can't decide what it truly is ... how am I going to know when I am? Is this whole feeling and this whole relationship in love? To me, it almost seems impossible to care about somebody else as much as I do for him.
I do think about the future. Such as, what will happen once we graduate? Are we going to keep in touch through college? Am I going to marry him? If not, then who, and are they going to make me as happy as he does?
I don't think it's fair to be judged so much because of my age and the seriousness I put into our relationship. A lot of people put in a bad name for people like me and my boyfriend. They can't hold a relationship while claiming they love every girl or guy that comes along.
So, honestly, have any of you judged a young couple in love? Are you a young couple in love? Do you also question about the whole 'loving somebody is different than being in love' concept?
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I do think you're smart. It's good to know the difference between "Loving someone vs Being In Love with someone." Right now, I think a lot of teenagers in high school believe they're "In Love", and will commit to anything because of this dramatic idea.
Knowing you love someone is the smart way to go. It means you love this person for who they are, but you remain committed to yourself as well because you know you're still growing as an individual and things change.
I, honestly, do judge young couples who are supposedly "In love". When I ask them questions about the future, they tend to answer with dreamed up realities about being together forever. It's never through an individual perspective (I want to go here vs. We want to be together so we're going here).
I believe young couples who say they love each other. When young couples say they're "In love" with each other, they dramatize the relationship, which may be full of puppy love rather than the real love.
Props to you for being aware of the two as well as your relationship.
"Nine months is a long time in high school"
Wait till you hit real life honey.
I love everyone. ;] I still need to find someone I can be in love with. :] Personally, I don't think I can fall in love at 15. >.< It's just.. too.. much. haha. My boyfriend and I are a young couple in like. :]
I'm not trying to disregard your feelings because of your age or anything, but nine months really isn't that long. And considering how much time you probably have left to live, that obviously leaves a lot of time for things to go wrong. I dated the same guy in 9th and 10th grade and I felt on the same level as you.
Honestly I think most people don't think people so young can be in love due to a lot of reasons. It's hard to love someone and make a huge commitment to someone so young because they're still changing, even people at 25 are unsure about getting married and whatnot. Teenagers are just caught up in daydreaming about the future instead of really grasping the concept of it. Hence why a lot of people think it's ridiculous when people say "omg he's the one" at 14, 15, 16, whatever.
I hope that all made sense, because I just woke up, haha.
you do sound mature for your age. just be careful. and you are young and so is he, and as you get older you'll understand what people are talking about when they come to you now and say 'you're too young' etc.
and i'm not claiming to be old either, i'm only 18 so i get a lot of the same reactions
Hmmm, yes, I also felt that way when I was young. "I'm so mature" "I know what love is like" "___ is a long time in high school/middle school/college".... Yeah.... After you hit the real world, you realize how stupid you've been. "I've never felt this way about anyone before" means yeah, it's the first time you've liked somebody that well. Once you get your self esteem down in the dregs, that's when people can start trying to see how they are. It just starts seeming arrogant. I was 15 four years ago, but I was an idiot. I'll say that about 99% of 15-year-olds are in America.
I know an older couple that has been together since high school and are perfect together. Then again, I don't mean to demean your relationship, but we most of us had one of those relationships in high school we thought was perfect, and then we grew up and realized 'uh, no, this isn't gonna work'. And this isn''t judging you, it's from personal experience. Also, I think the "love versus in-love" concept is bull. Love isn't an emotion, it produces emotions. Love is a commitment to another person. But anyone can decide 'I'm not committed to you anymore' aka 'I don't love you anymore'. I think you feeling love for your boyfriend is fine even though you're 15, I just don't want to say that your relationship is definitly different and you two will be together forever.
You still live in a sheltered life. Life beyond the walls of school is a whole lot more complicated and difficult. Feelings of "love" alone is insufficient for commitment. You'll need to have a stable income if you're going to commit into matrimony and starting a family together. You will need to really know what you want to do in life, and ensure that your partner not only support whatever that is, but be willing to be part of it (works both ways).
The bottomline is that, high school relationships don't normally (usually, there are always exceptions) last. Many things can change between now and your college years and your life in the real world after that. Only when you enter the real world, having gained life experiences, can you be ready for real commitment.
Right now, learn to develop your character and concentrate on study!
If you think you're in love, then you are. Don't let others define love for you.
However, as others have already mentioned, 9 months isn't that long of a time.
15 is still pretty young, and you're probably going to change and your boyfriend's probably going to change too. I just hope that both of you change in the same direction, so you two can stay together.
I was 15 when I met my husband and we "fell in love". We moved in together when I was 16 and we got married when I was 18. It hasn't been easy but we have managed to stay together, and over the years our love matured and proved itself real through the trials. You do sound mature for your age, like you are level headed and also like you really are in love. I have seen many teen couples who are more mature and loving in the way they relate together than some adults I know. What you both lack is experience not love. That is a problem that time will fix. My advice is to not worry about where your love will take you, just enjoy being young and enjoy each other and try not to stress about what the rest of the world thinks. Adulthood and all the pressures that go with it will all be upon you before you know it. Enjoy being who you are today and as you grow up together you will find the answers along the way.
I know how you feel. I'm only 17 and the relationship you described is basically the relationship I have with my boyfriend. I felt so hesitant to tell him I loved him, I waited until I truly meant it. I now how crazy high school can be and I really hope that you two stay together. My friend started dating her boyfriend freshman year of high school and 6 months after she graduated they got married. Granted he was several years older then her and already had a steady job.
Realize that between now and the end of college people change dramatically, be it for the better or for the worse. I hope that you two stay together babe <3
Well, the way I see it, it's best to be in each relationship like it will last forever. If things come to an end, all you can do is try to accept it gracefully and move on, no matter how hard that may be.
Even though it's not very common, it is possible to have a relationship that makes it through High School. I know someone who's a senior in college and has been dating his girlfriend for over six years, meaning around your age. And she goes to college in Boston, him in New York. He's going to propose to her at the end of this year. So it is possible. Just don't be surprised if it doesn't happen.
when i was 15, i was "unconditionally" in love with a former gf. we went out for 7 years after but it didn't work out. i miss puppy love. i agree with @TruthNeverTold@xanga - the best relationships are when you each see it like it'll last forever.
I started dating my husband when we were 15.
So I've seen first hand that it can work.
The important part is to accept the fact that you'll both change. Hopefully you'll grow together, not apart.
Only time will tell to tell you the truth. I have felt the same way as you because I began dating my bf since sophomore yr and we are now well in to 5 yrs. We saw the world changed together and he is my best friend. Its hard to be honest, especially growing up next his older brother and sisters who we all watched get married. We sometimes think its his older sister who's immature. They probably didnt think we would last this long, but they were wrong and no matter how many times we broke up we always wound up back together again...and his family has always been accepting of our decisions. I feel like the day we could prove the world wrong that we werent too young then to know what love is is if we end up getting married and actually make it through till the end
So, honestly, have any of you judged a young couple in love?
I don't JUDGE but I do have to giggle a little bit. It's one of those oh I remember what that felt like situations but you know it's probably not going to last forever for them. Just the other day I saw a couple of teenagers at the mall holding hands and kissing on each other. They looked about 14. The possibility that they will fall in love and stay together forever is slim at best. I don't judge them, because we all do it, and it's part of life. It's part of finding out what love really is and what makes a relationship work.
Are you a
young couple in love?
If I could only tell you how many relationships I had growing up that I thought were going to last forever. You always want to have high hopes. I've learned to live in the moment and take it as it comes.
Do you also question about the whole 'loving
somebody is different than being in love' concept?
I do think loving someone is different from being in love. I am in love with my boyfriend, but I know that if we split up down the line and saw other people that I would no longer be in love with him, but I would still love him. When I develop serious feelings for someone they are... serious. They don't go away when the person goes away. I'll love them and care for them even if I'm not madly in love with them.
lol. In a year or 2 post again and see if you are still "in love".
Just so you know - my oldest brother has been married for 4 years last august. He met his now wife when he was 15, and he's now 25. They've had a couple rough patches, but they've never "broken up".
Nuts on what those other people think. A relationship and being in love is what you make it to be; regardless of age.
If you can't be in love at 15.. when can you?
You can be in love at 15, it's just that you have less experience to define it with.
However, if we're talking commitment - I think it might be a bit young.
@MangoWOW@xanga - Haha, agreed.
15 is young, just give it time... I believe you can be in love at any age, but when you're young you have to be careful because you can be so easily hurt.
each love, each couple, and each person is different. don't listen to anyone else - you have to learn that is right for you and your relationships on your own. if you truly believe it's love, it's love, in some form. i wish you the best of luck sweetie!
You are really young, but it doesn't mean that you are unable to love someone. It's just my experience that the majority of couples from high school have broken up and moved on once we graduated from HS. The couple who was voted to have 2.5 kids and a dog have broken up since starting college and are engaged to other people. There are the few couples who DO make it though high school and later life. I do agree with everyone else taht nine months together is not that long, but maybe your relationship will stand the test of time and change. Believe me, you both will change during high school as you grow up. I hope you and your boyfriend can withstand the changes and stay together.
I used to judge people who claimed they were in love yet too young by my standards, but now I have learned that love doesn't have any limits whether it's age or race. I'm happy for you and anyone else who has learned that truth.
I've been with my fiance since I was a freshmen in high school and now I'm about to graduate. I don't think age is a good thing to go by. Age is definitely not a good indicator of maturity. I've met some down right childish adults and some incredibly mature teens. I think it all depends on how mature you are and of course whether or not you're REALLY in love and compatible.
You know whats great about your youth and being in love?
You have more time to learn if its true or not.
Don't let these older people decide whether you are young, sheltered, don't know reality, blah blah blah...Its all about the experience, let yourself define what love is.
Everybody has a different experience, make your own, period.