Sunday, 25 October 2009
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Constant Fear Of Being Cheated On
I think it's normal to feel a bit worry or concern about possibly being cheated on. Although throwing irrational accusations left and right might be a sign of insecurity. I've always been the type of girl to cheat on a boyfriend. I always grew up noticing how a lot of people aren't really faithful, and how they seem to have a wandering eye, not speaking for everyone of course, just a lot that I've come across. So when it was my time to date guys, I became the type to always cheat. I always felt like "Hey, might as well do it before he does!"
Anyways, now that I've been such a horrible girlfriend, I find it hard to trust my current boyfriend that I'm with. It's not like he shows any signs of cheating. I just over think and over analyze situations because of how sneaky and scandalous I used to be with other boyfriends.
How do I cope with this insecurity? I feel like I'm going to push my boyfriend away.
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About the Author
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- From: aNeLeiii@xanga
- About Me: ENTP Personality, Gemini born in the year of the Metal Horse with Sagittarius as my rising sign, Numerology #7. Good-hearted, temperamental, and playful. I'm the type of girl that's not afraid to be goofy just to put a smile on your face. But I also have a side of me that throws tantrums and is slightly mentally dysfunctional, this side, you don't want to meet.
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Comments (41)
lol.
wow irony.
that was definitely a theory of mine for insecure people. never had anything to prove it til now though.
Well, no offense, but you kind of did it to yourself :/ I'd guess you're projecting your own sense of personal disappointment and mistrust on your significant other.
I'd say that the only way to get over this is to learn to trust yourself first. And you can't really view cheating as some sort of competition. "I'll hurt you before you hurt me" usually means exactly what it implies: someone is going to get hurt and either way, you're going to feel bad about it.
unfortunately karma sucks. on the plus side, maybe you'll think twice now before you cheat.
honestly guys who cheat are pretty easy to read. i always find that girls figure it out pretty quickly. stop obsessing about it and give it some time. things will pan out and you'll figure it out on your own.
serves you right. cheating is the worst thing to do.
MY EX DOES THE SAME THING! BUT! I've never cheated on him. So honestly, I don't have any sympathy for you, chick.
Hey don't listen to those people. They don't understand. I do. I've been there, I am there.
I know its karma but for me, the one and only guy that I ever loved enough to not cheat on was the one who left me because he thought I was being suspicious.
maybe you should trust yourself first.
Wow.... I think you did it to yourself. Cheating is never okay; what the heck were you thinking? >.>
I feel sorry for your boyfriends.
Here's an idea:
Date people who want to be in an open relationship, and become one yourself. Then you both can see whoever you like without sneaking around or treating it like a relationship ending disaster.
well, you don't seem to have very good role models [you said everyone you know, cheats].
ask yourself why you are insecure, and then deal with those issues.
If you keep thinking about that, it will happen. You are sending that negative energy out. Be possible!
Stop trying to make excuses of why u cheat, your a cheater and karma is a bitch and your going to get hurt 10times worse, your going to find that one guy that u really do care about enough to not cheat on him and watch he is going to tear u a new asshole, and he is going to feed u a nice juicy excuse why he did cheat on u. so go ahead keep cheating it feels good now but when ur on the other end trust me it wont feel good anymore.
-.- Really?
Props for deciding to tell people what kind of person you are. That's pretty much all I could give you, though. I'll stop here before I say what I want to say.
Regardless of how u used to act, u found someone u care about so u start to fear. There isn't much u can do about it but take care of him so it doesn't happen, so he won't seek sex or comfort with someone else. You'll never know for sure even if you ask you can't be sure it's true so u just have to trust him and yourself. And respect his privacy cause if u have to spy on him your trust in him is already gone and that will drive him away quickly. If u get to this point, it's too late.
Cheating never solves anything, considering it means u should have already broken up.
Make him some noodles. If he doesn't offer you any, that means he's cheating.
@PoesyParnassus@xanga - great idea!
If you plan on being in a serious relationship or if you plan on getting married, your way of thinking, "Hey, might as well do it before he does!" needs to change. You can't just assume that every guy you're in a relationship will cheat on you and that at one point or another he's going to become unfaithful. We all have insecurities, that's normal, but the only way to work on it is learning to trust yourself and learning to trust your SO. Don't want to sound harsh but it just seems as if you are more worried about competing with him instead of trying to be an actual gf. Your relationships will never work because of your mentality.
@Forever_Unlimited@xanga - LMAO
@goblinsinthemirror@xanga - good one!
you cheat because you are insecure.
now you are insecure again and worry your current bf might cheat...
well, figuare out the problem from your self first, it started with you right? solve the root of the problem from yourself before you solve your insecurities with him.
The way I see it, in the absence of evidence you may as well trust the person. The reason I say this is that your boyfriend very well could be cheating. Unless you keep tabs on him 24/7, it's always possible. So you have to accept that it's a possibility but still trust them. Because if you don't you'll just drive yourself insane. This isn't saying to be blind to any signs of possible cheating. I think all off us who frequent Datingish have a good idea of what those are. But being paranoid about it for no good reason is going to take the fun out of the relationship.
wow, everyone is being so harsh on this girl - im not saying i approve cheating or anything, in fact, i hate it with a passion. but she's on datingish asking for advice, and almost everyone is being negative. can we get some advice please?
its true, karma is a bitch. if you cheated on someone for fear that they will do the same to you, then there are problems with yourself that you have to acknowledge (which you have). if you really want this relationship to work, you have to really buckle down and (A) stop flirting (B) don't do anything that makes your SO uncomfortable (C) be open and honest about anything and everything, that includes past, and present. you have to kick this tendency of the "wandering eye" and tell yourself that your boyfriend is the one you want. there's a reason you cheated previously, and none of those other relationships worked out. you just like the thrill of being wanted, because hey, who wouldn't want that? but just keep in mind that when you feel like that, your boyfriend probably has times when he feels like that too, but he likes you and he's sticking with you, being faithful to you. so do him a favour and don't break his heart, and maybe, just maybe this relationship will work out for you.
Karma.