to be honest it seems like there is such a cultural division that i have no idea what to tell you. i hope that, whatever you decide to do, things work out. but the difference in culture is much stronger than the difference in race, and your situation seems a little bit different and more intense than me, as a white girl, telling my parents i'm dating a black guy. our cultures aren't very different; just the color of our skin. your situation seems much more complicated.

good luck with whatever you decided to do.

I'll just stick with my boyfriend as long as my parents are open-minded enough to accept that fact.

Good luck!

I know what you mean. I dated an Indian guy, and while I did, my parents kept on making snide remarks about how Indians are hairy, they smell, they're dark, blah blah blah.

But I totally get your point: the actual race or skin color differences don't matter, but the culture of the two people do! It's hard to reconcile two really really different cultures, and what about the children? which culture's traditions do you follow? just do them both? haha. I think celebrating both Chinese and Indian holidays would be an adventure just 'cause there are so many!

There is definitely a difference between racism and cultralism.  I sometimes consider myself to be a cultralist, because sometimes I judge against my own race.  Does that make me acist if I hate almost everyone?  no, I'm a cultralist.

You call yourself Asian, but India is part of Asia, too.  What part of Asia are you from?

i'm asian and asians, and i mean the traditionalists like grandparents and maybe even parents  (maybe not everyone but most) have biggggg problems with african americans and mexicans/hispanics. i've lived in LA all my life and there has been cultural clashes with rude cat calls, disrespectful looks, grandmas we know getting beat down and robbed. so i can see where my mom has the stereotypical view of mexicans/hispanics. my boyfriend is half hispanic/a quarter jap/a quarter caucasian but dad's family is more hispanic than anything else. they think of me as a dirty chink (i'm not even chinese) who wants to take their son's/nephew's money because they're pretty well off.

what it comes down to is that i'm happy with my boyfriend. he makes me happy and i hope i'm making him happy. but when it comes to the future, i don't think too hard about it because our cultures clash andthere are so many irreplaceable thoughts and impressions on both sides of our families. sometimes it makes me angry that their family looks down on me and my family because we're asian. my parents are both hard working, fair and they put their kids first. i think- "well, in his family one cousin has gone to jail and another one has a weekly prostitute come over. we're the crazy one?" but then i think, well we're happy with each other. culture and tradition will be a big part when it comes to thinking of the future. so who's to say i will or won't marry him? but culture IS a big part. i think the best thing to do is tell your parents that you guys really care for each other and ultimately it's your choice who you date. that's what i told my parents, plus i told them that they really have no legit reason to deny our relationship because he doesn't do or sell drugs, he drinks (but i tell them he doesnt) slightly, he goes to school and he makes me happy. that's what you should tell your parents.

i went out with an Indian guy i really liked but i bowed out when his mother started giving dirty looks and we realized it'd be really hard for his mother to accept me. for some reason, it was easier for me to just let that relationship go (probably because we were only dating for a few weeks.) but 2 years later with my boyfriend now, i'm not going to let culture or family break us apart. if we break up, i want it to be on our terms.

@morbidcoronerchick@xanga - I agree. u just have to be fearless and ruthless about it all. esp about this kinda stuff in this time period. like rly?!?! we should ALL be past race shit by now. If ppl won't accept that you are in love with someone thats a diff race than u then fuck em!

@zockonzockon@xanga - Nothing can get in the way of true love...except parents. </3
@snapeful@xanga - I know right?

im asian and my bf is white. both our parents fully accepts this relationship basically, my parents are totally open to who i date and whatever race, as long as i can with stand the food, the smell, the tradition of the guy then my parents are ok with it. because at the end of the day when you get married its your family and you are the one living with them and you have to put up with all the differences that you saw irrelevant in the dating phase. 

@CrAdLe2daGrAve@xanga - dude..... wtf

I agree with @xExCuSeMeMiSsx@xanga - you'll miss out.

And don't let family become an issue. Bring him home regularly. Press the issue that he's friendly, you like him, and that he's not going anywhere. With friends...well, they should be able to accept who you love, no matter what. They're your friends, after all. If they have issues with who you date/want to be with, then they can discuss it with you.

My boyfriend's immediate family has no problem with us dating, in fact, they love it. He's Israeli, straight Jewish, and I'm born American and Christian but don't consider myself part of any religion. However, the rest of his family (who I'm meeting next summer), believes that you should marry someone within the religion/race you are born in. And they're VERY strict. I was nervous when we planned the trip to Israel, but he just said to "relax, be friendly, and don't let them get to you," and that he'd be by my side the whole time. And now I don't worry, because I love him <3

To say that race doesn't matter is to ignore the fact that there are some truths behind all of the racist remarks. LOL! But seriously, race doesn't matter in love and relationships. The only problem with having the family accept it is that some parents are too stubborn to accept not having their way. I'm Chinese and my girlfriend is 100% mixed European white. I'm making a trip with her to Las Vegas for the first time ever in January and the second that the dad heard about it, he said "There are a lot of those quick marriage places there and if I hear about you two being married, he's gonna be in big trouble." Now big trouble, considering he's southern, means that he's gonna bring at least one of his many guns and I'm gonna be dodging bullets matrix style for the rest of my life. Of course to top it off, the mom is a gun fanatic too and has her own stash while the brother hunts regularly with the numerous rifles he owns. This is all happening at the same time as my parents telling me to hurry up and have a kid, married or not. I say don't judge by racial origin, but by community upbringing. LOL!

But eastern asian together with an Indian does sound like a  mix that gets looked down upon by the previous generations. My Indian friend from high school is dating a girl who I think is Vietnamese and I recall being told that the parents don't approve at all. The only way I can see anyone getting past the barriers there is by making the guy EXTREMELY well presentable (manners, looks, etc) in what is basically what they would want their child to be with had it been an eastern asian. The reason why I say eastern is because India is still on the continent of asia, and Russia should count as Europe.