I recently got into a little argument with a friend and expressed my frustrations with her boyfriend. Apparently he said some things about me that I didn't like, and yes, I talked a little too much. When she talked to him to confirm, it ended up not being true. I apologized, admitted wrongdoing, and dropped it. But evidently, that wasn't the end of it.
Today she didn't text me at all (usually we talk every day). I asked if she was pissed about the night before, and yes, she was. I apologized again and told her I felt embarrassed for what I said. I didn't beat around the bush, I was very straightforward and took responsibility for it. I got on Twitter a couple hours later and saw that she posted "Some people need to think before they speak".
Everybody makes mistakes. Friends get into fights. Some are serious, some are stupid. But no matter what the situation, it should be handled off the computer and face to face. Posting status updates that are obviously intended for a specific person to read, especially when it's an angry one, is uncalled for. That's what keeps unnecessary drama coming around again and again. I know I'm doing the exact same thing - talking about it online - but my situation isn't the point. The point is, this virtual socializing that the world has come to is really messing things up.
It seems to me that our generation doesn't know how to handle bitter, emotional arguments or encounters face-to-face, and that's what real communication is. Online, things posted can be read the wrong way, there's no facial expressions to read, and no tone of voice to hear. My friend and I talked about it through texting, but that was between her and I, and not in front of all of our friends.
What do you do when drama hits the internet? Do you ignore it, or seek the person out? Have you ever fought with your SO via status updates/internet instead of face to face? Why?
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Comments (21)
i hate reading other peoples statuses that are obviously directed towards a single someone. its never been about me but hello?!? how old are we? deal with whoever you need to deal with to their face. the rest of the world, really doesnt care.
since you apologized twice, that's a little un-called for.
if she is upset, the mature thing would be to not talk to you until she's over it. the immature thing is to make drama.
Kick her in the balls.
@MilkyWhitesezMoo@xanga - My thoughts exactly.
I know how you feel. I have this extreme hater who gossips about me all the time. she always talks tough about me on her statuses. puts my first and last name for everyone to see who exactly she is talking about.
i thought about doing that back, and left my status about her up for like a second only to feel stupid to be just as immature as her.
i thought if she wants to act like a moron and doesn't care, she can. i don't need to do the same.
i just eventually ignored her all together. and i know she will never stop talking about me which is quite sad.
I don't have drama in my life, but I can totally understand what you're talking about. My ex boyfriend used to say and put somuch shit up on the internet about me. He was jealous I was into a new guy after we broke up (he cheated on me). He thought the cool thing to do was stalk him on the internet and leave up statuses/away messages saying nasty things about me. This guy is nearly a 25 y.o in a teenager's body. WHEN DO PEOPLE LEARN?!
yeah it does kinda suck that whole internet filled drama. i mean i wish people would just say it straight up, and work things out face to face. you know? much better. :T
It depends on how bad the situation is, and how much I care to have those people in my life. If they mean that much to me I might shoot them an email about a misunderstanding, tell them a little bit, and ask to meet up to talk about the rest.
Your friend resorting to a public forum is a little low. You could either make a Twitter like, "Some people don't know how to keep private matters private," (which would be "stooping" but oh, so satisfying...) or send her a text telling her that you'd rather not have her post such comments about you just because of an argument that you had. Friends shouldn't do that to each other.
I might choose email/Facebook message over phone when necessary to tell my SO something important, but in-person is always preferred.
Oh god internet drama iz tha worstttt
Trying to solve a problem over the internet NEVER and i mean NEVER works out, if anything it makes it worse. In the past when someone was directing there status towards me, NO i didnt stoop to there level and write one about them back, i would kindly either send them messege on whatever site they did it on or if i know there number im sure in hell picking up my celll phone and making a phone call to them askin them if they have a problem to me expecially if i know its about me. I dont hold nothing back if i see that someone wants to starts some drama or has something to say to me i jump right on it and confront it asap, Im not a drama person, i dont like drama in my life...so i resolve it as soon as it starts up. I no punk and i dont let nobody walk all over me.
But in your situation i think u should let it go now, for the simple fact is that you did apoligize twice to this girl then she still wants to be a sucka and post it on her status and all that junk, so what u do is just wait to she gets over her imature actions and when she is ready to come to u and talk to u in adult manor then good but until then there isnt nothing u can do sense she is sitting there dwelling on it and not giving u a chance to explain yourself. so just be happy and enjoy ur life while she is over there soaking in shit that could have been resolved. her lost not yours lol
drama happens to me everywhere..
online, at school, on streets, in the mall..
Drama fallows me it sees. Doesn`t matter where.
Sometimes I like it because Im bored, Sometimes i dont. :PPeople who act like they're "all that" on their statuses or act hard online crack me the heck up!
I also think that disputes should be handled face-to-face or at least over the phone (preferably talking on the phone, but that isn't always an option), somewhere that you can have more of a personal talk. Where you can get into the talk and get to the bottom of everything and resolve issues without the butting-in of other people.
I think that making posts like that are kind of childish, really. Where you know not only the person they're intended for (and obviously so) are going to see it, but so will the rest of the people on your page. Getting others involved and airing your dirty laundry used to always be considered low-class and childish. But, now that more people are used to the Internet, it has become the norm.
I think it's also a little vindictive. Because, in a way, you're also wanting other people to see what happened. You may not say outright who it was (although some people will), but you leave the door open for people to ask and to speculate. Before anything is even worked out!
However, I do think there is nothing wrong with a post meant for venting purposes only. Sometimes, getting frustration, irritation, even anger off of your chest before getting too involved in a discussion (so that it doesn't turn into a horrible argument, and also so that you can just calm yourself down and feel a little better), is a good idea.
I even do that. However, the key for me is that I make sure that my posts like that are private, or they are on a site that I don't have friends added to. I have a specific WordPress and MySpace for this, and I don't add people to it. It's just my personal thoughts and venting that I know could cause problems if someone else saw them. It's just like keeping a journal that you lock up or hide and don't want anyone else to see.
It can definitely be tempting to just go on a social networking site like Twitter or Facebook, even Xanga or LiveJournal, and make a public or even an f-locked post where either the whole world can see it or just you and all of your friends plus the person it was really meant for. But, at the same time, I think it is unnecessary, childish and vindictive. I also think it's low-class.
But, everyone has moments like that, sometimes, when their emotions get the better of them. Because, you're right when you say that everyone makes mistakes and friends do get into fights.
Doing something low-class, childish and/or vindictive doesn't always mean that's the kind of person you are normally. It just simply means that you, too, made a mistake.
I hope that you are able to talk and work things out with your friend, and I wish you all the luck in the world for it. :)
And I don't think it was really out of line, in this case, at least not too much, for you to use your situation. It's kind of a tricky thing, and some people will disagree. But, since the post wasn't particularly about that situation, it was instead about the way the world has changed so that instead of face-to-face confrontations, we choose the easier and much more social (in many aspects, unless you're in a crowded room during your face-to-face confrontation) venue of the Internet to vent and to argue and confront one another. The situation may or may not still be on-going between you and your friend, however the retelling of it seemed to be more along the lines for illustrative purposes. It was your own experience, and it was he experience that made you think about how the world has changed in this way and inspired you to blog about it. So, it is not illogical that you would use that to illustrate your point.
And wow, I wrote a book! I'm sorry!
i ignore drama online. or via text. someone texted me the other day being rude so i called and confronted.
if they can't say it to my face they are a waste of time..
my closest friends and i/ me and any bf i've had, we all talk in person if it's serious.
hmm... well, i am divided.
On the one hand, I can almost always resolve problems with friends in the "sheltering" of the internet (hey, ever block somebody? "appear offline" if you don't want to talk to that person but other people?). Most of the time, the only problems that weren't resolved on the internet ended up being "so serious" that I didn't waste my time with. They weren't serious. They were people wanting to meet up in person, because they wanted to slap me. Yea, not doing that. I have a short temper and I can pack quite a punch, if I get hit that is. Otherwise, I am eerily calm and patient during arguments.
On the other hand, if it's a problem with my SO, I got to be more creative. I can do internet, and in person, and it'll never really resolve the issue. The only thing that does? Silently holding each other. That's it. Touch. And quiet.
oh, pass-aggressive twitter.
haha wow! this is ironic. My boyfriend's friend who happened to be his ex, put stuff all over her myspace when i started dating him. stuff like "it's fearless to fall in love with your best friend, when he's in love with her and has hurt you twice." then when he stopped talking to her she put "I hate Tiffani _____" Last name and all.
Sounds like some people need to think before they 'Tweet,' too. Don't even respond to her drama. Just let it go. If she can't let it go and would rather blog about it on the world wide web, then she's a drama queen and that's her problem.
LMFAO THIS POST REMINDED ME OF THE GOOD OL' HIGH SCHOOL DAYS... I HAD DRAMA ON XANGA... THIS WAS LIKE PRE-MYSPACE AND TWITTER AND BLAH BLAH BLAH WAY BEFORE THE INTERNET COMMUNICATIONS TOOK OVER THE WORLD! IT WAS HELLA DRAMA... OVER SOME SAID BULLSHIT ON THE "CHATTERBOX" FUNNY FUNNY SHIT NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT AFTER READING THIS POST...