Friday, 23 October 2009
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Living La Vida Single
In a recent blog on Datingish, a young man asked why we believe being single is so magical when he's so happy with his girlfriend (it was adorable. You should check it out).Well I have, in my past, been a serial monogamist. I dated my first love... was single for a very short period of time... dated my crazy ex Nick...was single for an even shorter period of time... dated my ex... left my ex for Bachelorette Boy (clearly a bad choice on my part if you've seen how karma answered that one). Now I've been single for... a month and a half (which I realize is a short period of time, but for a serial monogamist it is not).
and I am loving being single.
Why?
Because I need to find me. I got so caught up in being a good girlfriend that I lost track of this simple fact: I love myself. I love my life. I love my friends and nothing makes me feel better than doing things for me. So now with my man-free time I am going out sans-man. With friends, with family, alone does not matter. I'm doing only the things I want to do. I'm seeing girlie cheesy movies. I'm getting far too drunk in bars with friends and behaving silly. I am sitting home alone on Friday nights enjoying some episodes of TV shows I missed. I'm spending time with my dog. I have not been to a sporting event since April and GOD does that feel good!!!! I also got back into dancing and started this lovely blog about my single gal lifestyle! How great is that?
But above all finding my happiness in being single is the most important part. I'm so happy with my solitude that I don't care whether or not someone else is here with me... which means that when I do find the right man I'll know he's right and won't just grab him out of loneliness.
So why is everyone so quick to jump into something that isn't right? Is loneliness really that bad or are you just lacking self love?
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About the Author
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- From: JanetDart@xanga
- About Me: I've always loved Sex and the City and with recent ridiculous developments in the lives of me and my dear, darling friends I decided it was most definitely time to start blogging. I hope you enjoy laughing at our lives as much as my friends and I do.
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Comments (46)
Loneliness sucks that's for sure. But I know deep down, I'm not ready for a relationship now b/c it's like you say: I need to find out who I am first and love myself first before I can contribute to a relationship.
My life is effed up enough as it is, I don't need to bring someone else into it.
Heh! Have a good time!! Some of the happiest women I know are "single ladies!!"
you need a fuk buddy
You should embrace the moment and live your life single or taken to the fullest. Some of my girlfriends are single and I've never seen them happier. It was definitely better than when they were jumping from one bad choice relationship to another just to avoid being alone.
I know a guy friend who's notorious for relationship jumping. He literally will go from one girl to another without any breaks in between and he's burned a lot of girls doing so. He's young but I warned him it'll eventually catch up to him, or worst, he might have to move to another state because he's dated all the girls here...well you know, i think its important to love being single. otherwise its like you said, you end up with someone for all the wrong reasons. buttt i also like what the other guy said; guys tend to glamourize the single life more - the "sleeping around freely" life, when sharing it with one other, is far more wonderful. ultimately i agree with both. if you want to be with someone, be with them and want to be with them for the right reasons. otherwise, you should never be ashamed of being "alone."
Depends on how long you've been single. A year or two is nothing compared to when you're pushing a decade of being single (year number 9 is right around the corner for me)-then it gets kinda old.
There's nothing wrong with being single or with being in a relationship. Do what you feel suits you best. You don't want to make choices that make you miserable, right?
I didn't realize "serial monogamist" was a common term. I had first heard it when my boyfriend claimed he was one and not a player. Hahaha
I've been single for almost a year now. I'm happy and comfortable with it.
I've been single since I went out with my first boyfriend almost a year ago. The relationship only lasted a few months, and it barely counted as a relationship.
I'm happy being single and I think I'd be a lot happier in a relationship. But I'd only ever date someone who I thought was amazing.
I think for a lot of people it's a fear that it can't be done on their own.
My mom "needs" a man to "take care of her." This ends badly.
I've been single for over a year -__- I did enjoy it for awhile. But I'm tired of being lonely now. I love not worrying about a relationship and just doing my thing.
Between my last relationship and the one before that, I was single for over 2 years. And during that time, I concluded to myself that while I can be content with being single, I would never be satisfied.
I feel the same way and it's so great :)
I know what you mean. This is the longest I've ever been single - about 3 months now and I'm completely enjoying the time.
I'm at the single table too, and I have to agree with this post!
all i really have known is being single and I love it but I also wonder what it would be like to care about someones needs other then my own you know...like being single being in a relationship also teaches some valuable lessons.
But I def. get when you say you learn a lot about yourself and learn just be content with yourself. cause in the end thats really all you have.
:) cheers to you hun!! good for youu and keep it up. seems like this is really good for you
I say this all the time on this site, but I love being single. I don't have anything against couples actually I find them sweet and I do have some people I find attractive, but I know I don't want a relationship right now. I don't think I'll ever understand people who feel they 'need' to be with someone. I want to take my sweet time finding the right person because I'm tired of flings and dating people with a fear of commitment.
"I love my friends and nothing makes me feel better than doing things for me."
That's exactly it. More people should discover the degree of their own self interest before committing themselves to others. At least then they understand more fully the nature of sacrifice and compromise involved in committing themselves to another person's happiness over their own.
I've been single for six months. And before my last relationship, I was single for 8 months. I just find myself, at least at this point in time, much much happier and much less stressed out when I am single. I'm not sure why... either way, relationships are not for me and friends with bennefits are. Hey, whats so wrong with friends with bennefits? It's only a step below a relationship just without the stress, drama, jealousy, or commitment and still the best romantically, emotionally, and physically connected.
I love you too! You're the coolest single gal ever. Congrats for being featured so quick!
Before my current bf I was single for a year and half and it really did take a toll on me. I had to learn the hard way that hook ups, while they may be physically gratifying, just leave you feeling lost and empty.
Good for you! Enjoy this time. But I don't think people that like to be in a relationship are doing anything other than what humans are meant to do (e.g. continue the species through procreation with a partner who will stilck around to help raise junior!!)
What the fuck is a "serial monogamist"? Is that basically just like saying you're actually so desperate you'll date anyone in order to not be single for a month and a half? You said being single that long was weird for you.
How the hell do you find new people to date quicker than that? That's ridiculous. It's like Oh, you're here, I'll date you.
I'm glad you're enjoying your time being single, but maybe you should really look at why you were dating people you had no connection with before.
Being single is great. Relationships are too much work.