We all strive to be like someone else, have what they have or desire it on some sort of level. If you haven't then you're lying. We should stop comparing ourselves to other people, but it's so hard...especially with all these teens/tweens rocking the booty shorts and barely there clothes. Of course the media doesn't do any better with helping our self esteems, will there be any change? Ever be a day where we can walk down the street and not feel insecure about another person or the person we're with? Ladies, please don't think you're not worth anything. You lose more of your worth if you're trying to be something you're not and selling yourself short with being with someone who doesn't deserve you and see what an amazing person you are.
So what if you're single? Does it make it worth being in a relationship with a worthless scumbag any better? I want you all to look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful. No man or human can take it away from you. If they comment or make rude remarks just know it's their own insecurities that make them say the things they do, to feel better then someone by down grading them.
One person whom I just met, asked me... hm lemme find his exact words: "OK I have another question. This one a bit more personal, so you have some options here. You can answer it. You don't have to answer it. But just so you know I'm just asking this to solve my curiosity. Your answer isn't going to change what I think about you. Are you... not as thin? (I'm terrible with wording, so please don't take offense to it.)"
We hadn't even known each other for a day and he already busted that question on me. So I replied..."Even as friends no one would ever ask me that, real friends don't care about that b/s"
I find it disgusting how people have the right to ask that...over so-called friendship? Not sure if it pissed me off he was calling me overweight or was he calling me ugly? Yes, I'm not an anorexic girl who throws herself at every judgmental guy. Nor am I going to conform to that. I am who I am, I am born this way. I don't have to accept the person who asks me stupid questions like this douche did. Neither do you ladies need to put up with stupid guys just to be in a relationship. Who you are is acceptable to anyone who is willing to put aside looks and be the person that cares more for your well being. Those are the people that matter.
Big is beautiful. Cheers, to us women. Beautiful and loved by our own number one fans. Ourselves.
Would you ever be in a relationship with someone just for the sake of being in a relationship? Even if they did not accept you for who you are?
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Comments (20)
Looking at that unadorned belly button piercing seriously almost made me vomit.
But to answer your question: no.
so you're saying that you admire and want to be like teenage girls?
First off, I would never be that desperate to be in a relationship to just be in a relationship. Well, I hope not at least. With that said, I'm actually observing a situation somewhat similar to this. One of my former best friend is currently in a mentally/emotionally abusive relationship. Her bf treats her like crap and yet she says he's the best thing that ever happened to her. Now she and I both know this has to be the biggest lie because it's obviously so he does not seem to treat her that way. They also have a 2 and 1/2 yr. old daughter together and my only reasonable explanation for them being together is because of their child. No matter how hard they both are willing to try and put their differences aside to make their relationship work, it'll never work because they're both in it for the wrong reasons and they both have different intentions. Well, at least her bf is. He's just another example of an asshole.
Going back to what you said...I honestly do not know how two people can be together if the feelings weren't there or even worse...if the other did not accept/support their SO. How would a relationship like that work out? If anything, it would just be a relationship based on sex but even then that would lead to some sort of feelings. This question seems pretty obvious and I certainly hope no one would rush into a relationship just because they're afraid of being alone or single.
"Would you ever be in a relationship with someone just for the sake
of being in a relationship? Even if they did not accept you for who you
are?"
Lol what kind of question is this?
To the OP I agree, don't feel put down by the judgments of others. I don't think that is necessarily the outward appearance that people should be attracted to; rather it is the habits should be highlighted as important.
Tall or short, fat or thin. Personality definitely reflects who you really are.
No. I wouldn't.
And I'm scared to death of being with someone who might want me to change who I am, physically, mentally, or emotionally.
I'm me. Take it, or leave it. And if you can't take it, please leave it.
I like this post! It really is important for us women to love ourselves and to find someone to spend our lives with who does the same. I wouldn't be able to be in a relationship with someone who didn't accept me for me.
I think I'm going to get a lot of tomatoes thrown at me when I say this but this reminds me of a quote from the movie, Liar Liar:
[Jim Carrey's Son]: My teacher tells me beauty is on the inside.
[Jim Carrey]: That's just something ugly people say.
Haha.
Honestly though, I actually know a few BBW (Big Boned Women) and at lunch once so many of them actually told me that they have NEVER had a problem finding a man. So I hope this is actually some encouragement for people that are so letting their physical appearances keep them from participating in anything.
im sry he reacted that way. i'm extremely self conscious and insecure abt my appearance and thrive when ppl tell me i;m skinny.
i;m not my own biggest fan. i;m my own coach, my own motivation for perfection. in my eyes big is not beautiful and small is never small enough.
i dunno...maybe that's just me...
I honestly want to be skinnier. I'm overweight. But I still will take offense if some guy asked me that straight up.
If you never try to be something you're not, you'll always be exactly what you are, and that's not a good thing. I don't want to be a college student in ten years. It's more a matter of choosing who/what to aim for becoming.
i loved your entry! coincidentally i was just feeling a bit of a downer because i was starting to feel self conscious.. especially when a guy is getting into the picture. thank you for reminding us that there is no such thing as universal perfection; we are all perfect for someone, for our SO.
I don't think I'm overweight or skinny; I think I am healthy. I strive to exercise and eat right everyday to be good to myself. So I can stand strong to find love, spread love, and cherish love. You're right, we ought to be our own biggest fans. May we all find that strength some day~!
Why waste your time with someone you don't like, just for the sake of being in a relationship? How desprate can you get. ITS PATHETIC. Being single won't kill you. And being with someone who doesn't accept you? It's as if you enjoy suffering.
Sorry i dont plan on answering your question cuz obviously im sure you know the answer =)
but ill comment on your post,
i agree that guy is a shallow disgusting a$$hole. But i dont know how many times had i met guys that are so judgemental and shallow about the appearance of girls.
and you know whats funny? they look 10x worst and they are sooo lucky we dont judge him until he pisses us off so bad that we had to bring reality to him.
"Even if they did not accept you for who you are?"
I can only put up with his mean remarks, constant put downs, and crude gestures. Not to mention, he's probably bad mouthing me with his friends. Who would put up with that just so they can be in a relationship. It's even worse if you don't have strong feelings for that person.
I have the tendency to change a little for the man im going to marry. I think marriage is all about compromise and if he hats somethings about me ill try and change that, but i wil be expecting the same from him. It doesnt hurt to change for the person you love
i would never be in a relationship just to be in one. i'm pretty selective when it comes to relationships in general. i guess i analyze the person and the whole situation before i get in the relationship. sometimes it makes me go crazy because i think about it too much and i forget what i'm really doing. if someone's not going to accept you for who you are in the beginning phase, they'll never accept you.
On behalf of all guys that care, I apologize to the women that feel like they have to strive so hard to become their own best friend (not that its a bad thing) because the world they live in is full of judgment, nonacceptance, and men who just don't care. I wish there would ever be a day when a woman can feel secure about where she is and secure about herself. I'm fighting for the men to be men instead of pigs and to learn how to respect a woman instead of feeding her insecurities.
it reminds me of one of my friend,she asked me about his ex-bf's present gf and i could't tell her for not causing comparison between them,but she told me that she wouldn't mind because she is unique..and she can be compare with none. Though she looks platitudinous and unattractive,she is a individualized girl to me.Perhaps it's the admirable inner beauty which is unusual in the world.
I would never be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. I hate relationships too much to do that. I have friends who do it though, and it's usually because they are trying to ignore a piece of themselves. Hell, you don't have to be with an asshole to be in a relationship for the wrong reasons; that's just when it's more noticeable. But I know many people who stunt their own personal growth by pouring themselves into a relationship with all their might, and it's just a sad situation.
that chick should put her belly button ring back in, staring at a pierced belly button without a ring in it is gross.
everyone should be comfortable with themselves. confidence is sexy, ask any guy. and if you're not in a relationship now, that just means it's not your time.