Tuesday, 20 October 2009
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A Story About A Girl
I want to tell you this story.Years ago in high school, a girl found herself liking a childhood friend and never spoke a word of it to him. A year or two passes by, he began to date one of her girl friends. Though she continued to have feelings for him, she kept a further distance from him. She could not break the unwritten code between girl friends. One never pursues a friend's boyfriend.
Two or three months passes by, he faced a personal and painful experience. By the end of that week, he had to move to another state. She felt bad for him. She cared for him a lot and she knew she wanted to support him. She reached out to him, talked to him, and tried to ease his pains. After a few weeks, they became good friends.
One day, he asked her for advice. He told her that his feelings for her friend was fading. What should he do? She told him that her friend was a non-talkative girl and to give it more time. She suggested things that the two of them could talk about and the things that her friend liked.
After a month, he told her that he tried his best. He did not have anything in common with her friend and they had nothing to talk about. He asked for advice on what to do. She told him that her friend liked him a lot and to stay in the relationship. It would be too painful for her friend. He told her that it would be more painful for her friend to continue in a lying relationship. She had to concede. After he broke up with her friend, she disappeared from his life. It was her retribution for betraying her friend.
It has been years now. Yet, she has many unanswered questions. She wondered how things would have been if she made different choices and whether he ever had feelings for her.
It doesn't matter now. She is getting married soon.
Have you ever pushed aside your feelings? Have you ever wondered how things might have turned out had you not?
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Comments (32)
Yes. I was in a relationship at the time, so I pushed aside feelings I had for someone else. Just pretended they weren't there. I lost a good friendship over it and have always wondered what would have happened if I had gone for it.
So one day, when I met a handsome stranger from Texas and felt those feelings again, I decided to go for it. Crazy? Yes. Smart? Probably not. But I knew I would always regret it if I never gave him a chance.
He is moving to Ohio to be with me now. I guess he doesn't want to live his life wondering what could have been either.
Things are the way they are for a reason. Don't live your life asking, "What if?" It will only make you regret things later on and make you find faults with what's going on in your life.
Well, there's a difference between wondering and wishful thinking...my advice would be to make sure it is just simply wondering and not secretly wishing it had turned out differently.
I think everyone wonders from time to time...there were a million choices I could have made differently, tons of people with whom I never fully explored things. I have a friend with whom I've always been very close, and we always cared a lot about each other but the timing was never right, we were never single at the same time, we always lived pretty far away from one another, etc. I've wondered about whether he and I would have been compatible if we'd ever given it a chance, but I know that I'm not going to find anyone better for me than my fiance now. In fact, I think my fiance and my friend share a lot of similar qualities, and maybe if I'd never had feelings for my friend, I wouldn't have fallen for my man in the way that I did. Who knows...I think that if you change any events in your life, the outcome is going to be different. I like who I am and what I'm doing. I'm with a guy who is so perfect for me, and I'm still on great terms with my friend, too. Life's good...I wouldn't change a thing. :)
Sometimes you don't remember the past the way it really happened. Sometimes your mind adds more meaning to it.
I always go for it.
i used to wonder about this too but i've realized that if i was meant to be with someone, i would be with that person and would not have to fight someone for it. you may see the relationship looking appealing from the outside, but just look at what he's doing to your friend, would you want him to do the same thing to you?
yeah, i have.
but luckily, the guy i loved for 5 years broke up with his then gf- i felt i had a small window of time to tell him. i did so in such a subtle way but he got it. been a year and a half.
Yes.
I'm actually going through that right now. The guy I've been in love with 3 1/2 years just recently broke up with his girlfriend and I thought that I was ready to tell him how I felt. However, two days later, he left for college. Now, I never see him anymore. I still wonder how it would be if I'd had been confident enough to tell him.
Ohhhh yeahh!
back in high school I had a crush on a girl for the longest time, but just never got the courage to tell her my feelings. I regret every second of it. But who knows, life is a full of surprises and you never know what will happen down the line.
I've done it a good amount. It's become remarkably easy for me at this point.
Well, not exactly... I wasn't the one who pushed them aside, he was.
I really liked him, like, for years, though I was too scared to talk to him because he was a couple years older and he was just "too cool" in my eyes. Yet, we somehow ended up in the same P.E. class and ended up talking. A lot. Which led to talking through texts and instant messaging. Then to hanging out. Then to him cheating on his girlfriend, with me. But it wasn't cheating as in "lets have sex because I'm not getting it from her" it was more of an... actual relationship. In fact, we didn't have sex. The most we ever did was just kiss, but we would cuddle and hang out and dance in the street in the middle of the night.
Well, he finally ended it with his girlfriend because she was kind of a psycho, but sadly he left to college right after. I visited him up there once, but he said he didn't want a long distance relationship and found someone up there. That didn't work out, either, though, and when he came back for the summer we started hanging out all the time. Until his ex-girlfriend came back in the picture, threatening him with suicide, cutting herself, etc. Now, they're actually married and I was so upset when it was all happening.So, in short, yeah I guess I do wonder what would have happened...but I know I am SO much better off with who I'm with now, because this boy and his wife are stuck in our small dinky hometown, him working at a grocery store as a cashier and her at a restaurant as a hostess, not going to school or anything. Ah well, although things suck at the time, they work out in the end ;)
I've been in bad relationships wherein I've been in denial about how I felt about my boyfriend at the time and I let things go on for years at a time before I cracked.
After two broken relationships like that, I became more vocal and obvious about how I feel about someone, and if it's not what he wants, then I just moved on. Life is too short to spend it miserably with someone who is not right for you or vice versa.
Nonetheless, I'm currently engaged to a wonderful guy who is as honest, open, and candid as I am about emotions, values and many other qualities. :)
i always do that. i never acted on my feelings.
I think everyone has those what-ifs. I know I do and after almost 3 yrs. I still wrestle with this specific question almost everday...
Yes. Regret sucks big time.
I once had feelings for someone. Once. It was scary because I expected to never have feelings for anyone ever.
I never acted on those feelings though because I wasn't interested in being in a relationship. I knew that if I tried to be in one it wouldn't work out as I would push away and just end up hurting the person. I just decided the crush was a fluke, a one time only thing. Looking back, it was the right choice because I've never had feelings like that again. It really was a fluke.
I had to push my feeling aside. He's a year older then me, so needless to say when he graduated from high school and went to college five hours away, I had to move on with my life. We'd always been good friends leading up to that but, I could just never bring myself to tell him how I felt. It still hurts at times when I think about it, since it has only been a few months but, I can't go back now. Even though I regret it sometimes, I know that life must keep moving & that I'm going to find the right person for me. After all, everything happens for a reason.
Sometimes I wonder what if, but then looking back I'm glad to be where I am now. Back then when I was younger and I was only thinking of the current moment and not of the future or the consequences and what else would happen. I'm glad to be where I am now.
i think for me, most of the time i tell people how i feel. every single one i've liked. i've always tried to go by the fact that i'd regret it if i dont. it's either now or never, and if he were to be gone the next day i knew i'd regret not telling him. so i try my best to tell people how i feel.
Sigh, yes there's three instances that I've had to push aside my feelings, and not reveal them at all. One girl, found me on facebook, and after reminiscing about old times, she broke down and asked me "Why didn't I have feelings for her?" which really sucked because in fact ten years ago I was in love with her... Still I don't regret my decision, because it was the right one, I was still involved with an ex when I met her, I just regret the fact that we never were.
never be too scared to do anything. do everything you want to do and you wont have these type of regrets. i have none.
Yep.
And hey, its hard, even till now when I am in a stable relationship I miss this guy from the past.. If i had done things differently or what not.
But you know, everything happens for a reason, if things were meant to be, it's meant to be.
And if the girl in the story is already gonna get marry.. then congratulation I'm sure it means she has found happiness from someone else and that is all that really matters right now.
all the time ><
its kinda a sad story though
x
This was a very well written post :( Really sad, too.
there is one particular person i can't help but wonder what it would have been. he always come into my dreams at certain times of the year. but logically, i know it's in the past and there will never be another chance.