Monday, 19 October 2009
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Relationship Death Cycle
Cheating is something that I have seen happen over and over again.
No, not the: "Holycrapididn'tprepareformymidtermandifidon'tpassthistesttheniwillnevergraduatecollegeandthenIwillsnowballintoajunkieanddiebyjumpingoffabridgeindispair*gasp* So I will cheat instead!' I'm talking about the,kind of cheating that happens between a couple that loves each other so much, but papa is getting a little on the side.
Okay, women and men cheat on each other, the woman is not always the victim in this sad tale of infidelity. I've been around a cheater or two and I can't help but wonder about it. Hell I have even been propositioned by someone else who I knew was in a relationship. From what I have seen there are two different kinds of cheating. There is getting some on the side, and then there is starting a relationship with a person who is not your significant other and consummating it many times. I have to wonder what is better to hear about, for the person who was cheated on, and what is the best situation for the people doing the cheating.
Men seem to cheat more often because of a relationship they didn't want to be in, or one that did not fully encompass having in daily, nightly, and ever so rightly. Sex is a huge component of a relationship that women, although they have the same virtual sex drive as men, they either are turned off by certain situations that have occurred within the relationship, or problems in outside life are affecting their libido. men start turning to other women to compensate for wither the sexual issues, the emotional issues or both.
While women seem to turn to cheating less for the fact they aren't getting what they want, but that they want more, or they want some sort of variety, although I will say I know less about this because women who cheat are less likely to talk about it.
What sort of emotional issues lead people to cheating? why is it so important to have sex instead of abstaining? why stay in a relationship where you would cheat?
Why would you let yourself be a party to cheating?
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- From: Tybalt2105@xanga
- Name: Tybalt
- About Me: i'm your typical drama sound geek with a love for video games and anime and books and music and technology and politics and art. and more.
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Comments (32)
Never will I EVER cheat on someone. EVER.
Being with someone means you're supposed to trust each other. Not go out a fuck someone else just because something is lacking or something is wrong.
I don't believe in cheating. For me both types of cheating that you stated above are just as bad. I think if you're in a mature and healthy relationship with someone and you love them that you wouldn't go out and cheat just because of sex, or for whatever other reason. I think it's immature to go out and cheat on someone just because something isn't going your way.You should be able to sit down and talk about things. So many people don't take the time to do that because avoiding issues is easier than dealing with them, or they just don't know how to talk about it, or try to sweep it under the rug.
If my boyfriend cheated on me then the trust would be broken. I don't think I would be able to stay with him if he's unfaithful.
Moral ethics presently have lower standards by magnitudes compared to the past. Puritans would consider this heresy lol. Sry reading "The Scarlet Letter"atm.
i've never cheated on anyone before or will allow cheating to be tolerated in any of my relationships. there are exceptions like he did it once and felt really bad and promised never to do it again then i could probably forgive that person but never to me. it's not tolerated one bit.
I admit I've cheated before...it was a long distance relationship, and whenever we talked he was verbally and emotionally abusive...
At first it was supposed to be an "open" relationship, but when I expressed interest in dating someone, he freaked. I went ahead with it anyway, and then soon after left him.
I didn't want to cheat, but I felt I had no choice. Now I'm in a relationship with the person I really want to spend forever with, so no cheating here.
Can't say I'll never cheat, because you never know what will happen, but I'd like to believe I never will. However almost every girl I've been with has cheated on me whether I knew about it right away or not. With one of my exes we broke up for around 5 months and in the middle I slept with someone else, then later got back with said ex. When I told her about it I think she felt of it as if I had cheated on her. Through my experience in life though I've known way more girls to cheat on guys than guys to cheat on girls. General reasoning being their either really slutty and just need sex as much as possible and are not getting enough from their bf's or they're still looking for more but too scared to be on their own to leave their current bf until they snag and have control of a new guy.
cheating in a relationship and "Holycrapididn'tprepareformymidtermandifidon'tpassthistesttheniwillnevergraduatecollegeandthenIwillsnowballintoajunkieanddiebyjumpingoffabridgeindispair*gasp*
So I will cheat instead!" cheating are equally terrible to me.
NEVER DO EITHER PLOX.
cheating is pathetic.
Assholes who do it are shallow, insignificant, worthless fucks (men and women)
NOPE. I'll just be polyamorous. ^_^
I used to think cheaters were horrible people. Then I did it. Once, no sex, just kissing. And I still think it is a horrible thing to do, because I betrayed the trust of the person I love most. It is humiliating to be in that position: The Cheated. I called my SO immediately after it happened and tried to explain how sorry I was. Even though I didn't deserve it, he forgave me. I'll never forgive myself.
The only reason I can think of was that I was lonely. I had been in college for a month or two, my SO going to college 6 hours away from me. I met so many nice and interesting people, but I was lonely because I didn't have anyone to hold or kiss.
From my experience, I learned that if you truly care about your SO, they are certainly worth the wait to get to hold again. My cheating was a mistake. Something like that should always be a mistake...not something that you do because you're not getting enough. We're all human, and we make mistakes. Cheating is never right, but it might be even worse to never forgive someone for a mistake like mine. I know I'm a better person than that, and I never want it to happen again.
Never will cheat. It doesn't feel good to be cheated on, will never stoop to that.
i will never cheat nor will i accept cheating.
oh man, this entry makes me paranoid. my boyfriend is 4 hours away. i would never cheat on him, and i would literally die if he cheated on me.
I have no respect for cheaters, especially the ones that try to justify their actions with "I was feeling neglected wahhhh" or "we were going through a rough patch...".
@yukarimayhem@xanga - I agree with you 100%.
@SFPD_PursuitZ77@xanga - your a good man.
This is strange. In anonymous studies, an estimated 40-60% of people have cheated at one point in time or another, depending on the location of the study. However, everyone here except a few are claiming never to have cheated. I find that to be strange.
However, this also has not gotten many comments at all thus far.
Additionally, yes, women are less likely to talk about it. Social stigmas and whatnot.
Also, the Puritans were no more pure than the rest of us. Religious folk sin, are scandalous and engage in "sacrilegious sexual activity" just as often as the rest of us. The punishments for it sucked a lot more then though, so they kept their mouths shut about it a lot more often than we do. Pretty much, unless you got caught in the act, you didn't tell anyone because you didn't want to end up on fire or anything.
eh cheating is overrated just be a man and end it with your current squeeze then sleep with that skanky broad you had your eye on.
i've been cheating on several times. I would NEVER do that to someone. NEVER.
I don't think cheating is ever a one-sided thing. Both should claim responsibility, because people in happy healthy relationships don't cheat nor do they feel the need to
NO, I will never cheat. If you can't commit then get out of your relationship.
I will never cheat nor would I tolerate being cheated on and I most certainly would never be "the other woman" knowingly (let's face it, some people are good liars and in some situations the original SO and the "on-the-side" SO are unaware the other exists).
It's such a selfish, dishonest, horrible thing to do. I really have an issue with lying, I can't stand it and cheating is one of the worst forms. (No seriously, I HATE lying (and can't lie to save my life lol) even if it's to spare someone's feelings...I mean I won't be cruel, I'll be politely honest).
cheaters are greedy sexually and/or emotionally. they don't break up with their gf/bf or husband/wife, not because they are cowards but they want that person they are in a relationship with AND another person and maybe more than 1 more person, even string along 2 or 3+ people at the same time. they don't give their entire heart to anyone, not even their main partner because they are too selfish and mainly care about their own needs and love themselves too much to genuinely care and love another person completely. cheaters who try to excuse their actions instead of admitting their mistakes upfront shouldn't be forgiven. the "oh we're all humans and make mistakes" speech is a bunch of bull to make their selfish selves feel better and usually said by cheaters, who have no self control and no self respect for themselves and no respect for their partner because if they did, they wouldn't put themselves in the situation to hurt their partner.
I ask myself this all the time. Why do people cheat? I've heard the many excuses before. "It's not you, it's me..." or "You weren't affectionate enough..." or the famous line, "I didn't want to hurt you." I can't seem to fathom how someone can possibly say that they're so much in love and that they would never want to hurt their SO and yet go find love elsewhere. When you say that you love someone so much and that you would not want to hurt them, would it not be easier to just break it off and save your reputation then cheat?
I've been cheated on and from all the hurt that I've went through, I just couldn't imagine putting someone else in that position. No matter if I fell out of love or not, it's just always better to be honest and tell it like it is instead of having to cheat and making matters 10x worse.
most of the time the other person who is being used to cheat on the other tends not to know about the other. the person cheating becomes too selfish that their never mention it to both parties.
I would never, ever even THINK of cheating, because I'm in the best relationship I could ever ask for. My boyfriend now is the love of my life, and he barely even looks at other girls, and I do the same by not even thinking of liking other guys. If a guy flirts, I brush it off politely. If he makes any other move, I walk away. I don't want to lose the great guy that I have. <3
My ex more than likely cheated on me, so I know how it feels. And he openly took an interest in and flirted with other women, which made me feel like shit, and it hurt. A lot. I'd never do that to my love or make him suffer like I did.