Sunday, 18 October 2009

• Slow and Steady Wins the Race

  When I was a child, I wanted to become a teenager as fast as I could, so I can do "grown-up things", which at age 6 meant shopping by myself and finding prince charming. When I became a teenager, I wanted to become an adult as fast as I could to get away from high-school drama. I wanted to pursue my career and declare my independence... still looking for prince charming. Now at age 19, I'm well on my way of "growing-up" but I don't want to be here anymore. I want to revert back to a comfortable childhood of afternoon naps and crayons and apple juice.

  This isn't the picturesque early adulthood I had imagined. In many ways, life right now is better but also worse. I enjoy the freedom that comes with age, but I almost feel like I have no time to enjoy this freedom. Between school and work, I feel like I'm growing up too fast. Declare my major? Heck I don't even know what I want for dinner tonight, how am I supposed to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life?
  

  Did I skip over the most carefree parts of my life by wanting to grow up too fast?
  

  An hour ago, I wanted to fast-forward now. I wanted to be done with my degree, successful, and moved out with the love of my life. If only life was like the movie "Click". But after reading a post "I Don't Know How To Live Without You" on Datingish, I changed my mind.
  

  I decided that at 19 I still have (almost) all the time in the world, so why am I wanting to rush into everything? Maybe it's because I'm not a person of great patience, or maybe because our society today puts too much stress on instant gratification (instant oatmeal, instant dinner, instant coffee, wi fi internet... okay not really about the internet because I love Xanga).

  Being done with my degree right now would be nice, but I would have to also handle the pressures and responsibilities of holding down a job and paying bills. Being able to move in with him right now would be nice, but it means that we'd skip over all the other fun parts of the relationship, like talking every night on the phone, anticipations of seeing each other next, long goodbyes, love letters, love emails, love text messages and the anticipation of our future together.

  Realistically, no couples stay in the honeymoon phase forever, but I want to make the best memories while we're still here. Perhaps it is inevitable that love changes. I don't think our love now is going to be the same in 10 years (at least I hope not). I hope that in 10 years time, our love will grow stronger, deeper, and we'll both find ourselves and who we want to be with support from each other.

  But for now, I want to make memories because I won't stay this age forever, we won't stay like this forever. I want to be able to look back and laugh about the good times instead of remembering how I miserably tried to fast forward life. I want to make decisions when I'm good and ready but enjoy life in the meanwhile.

  If I learned anything from reading the post was this: don't rush into things.
  Things change, Directions change, Life changes.. but all in it's own time.

  So take a deep breath..
  and let things flow, like river, like raindrops sliding off window panes,
  slow and steady wins the race

  

  Have you ever felt like you've skipped over the best parts of your relationship in order to get to your future together?

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