Generally, I don't have a problem introducing myself to people. I am usually able to find an interesting topic to speak about with people who I have just met. Friends are something that I would consider what you can never have enough of, therefore, I am consistently open to increasing the number of people I am acquainted with and from there, I am open to moving to the level of friendship.
Public speaking is not a fear of mine and if I may say so, I've had quite a few experiences doing it that I have learned to more eloquently articulate what I need to say than how I knew how to do so a few years ago. I'm not the best, but I have become better at conveying my ideas and opinions. Neither do I consider myself to be lacking in interpersonal skills. I truly do always want to see the best in people and if friendship is a possibility, I will steer toward it. Conclusively, I am not afraid to speak to people.
However, when I begin to speak of my words and actions (or lack thereof) that I choose to take part in when the person that I have feelings for is in close vicinity, it would seem that the one I spoke of in the paragraph above and the one I am about to speak of are two personalities belonging to two different people. It would not seem that these two personalities co-exist within me. Suddenly, my ability to eloquently articulate my ideas and opinions abruptly cease to exist. Instead, I am reduced to a stuttering and sometimes mute fool who's brain has chosen to go on strike in terms of sending signals to my mouth. As a result, awkward silences ensue.
For some reason, all I am able to register in my mind (besides his presence) is the ice in my glass of water and the way the light shines on my fork and knife on the dinner table. It seems that wanting to be able to say something of importance or of interest causes my brain to output the exact opposite. In a flurry of wanting to impress or make a good lasting impression, the ridiculous words that come out of my mouth cause me to want to hit my head against the wall. (Will that get my brain to start working better?) My capability of being able to start and maintain conversations flee from me and I am substituted with being a quiet, shy nervous girl. Quite the opposite of the funny, witty, bubbly, outgoing, and friendly person all my other friends speak of.
I sigh and wonder where does that girl go when he's around? Why am I not able to make him laugh with my witty remarks? Why do my words escape me when I know he's around?
How do you act around the person you have feelings for? Anyone out there able to identify with me? Brave girls, give me some of your courage!
Recommend
Comments (20)
I have rather bad social anxiety, I sound like a bumbling fool quit often,
I excel in public speaking (to large groups), but I can't seem to work the magic when it comes to 1 or two people, argh.
besides talking, I like to listen. fun times when two shy people are in a room -..-
Ha, yes, I've had the same thing happen to me
You basically have to think of something clever, witty, or funny to say (yes, you can do it) and say it when it comes to mind. Use the people around you as an example. Use something funny that happened to you recently. Things like that.
It depends. There have been very few girls that I've lost my typical speaking ability around, one of them was my girlfriend the day I met her.
I suppose it's just rare to see a 6' tall beauty just walk up to your table and stand as she's being introduced by her friend. It was like my brain froze and all I could do was smile and stare haha. Luckily, the next few times I met her, it went slightly better =)
I'd recommend just having some questions up your sleeve that you might have prepared beforehand. That way he'll start talking (and being a good listener is usually more attractive than being a good talker) and then he'll hopefully say something you'll be able to comment on, and you'll be off!
@SaClaudy@xanga - Same here!
If i had to talk to a guy i like it would definately be a lot worse. lol also doesnt help to be clumsy like me and a bumbling fool.
i just pretend that the girl i like is trying to impress me; not the other way around.
@Rainy_Day33@xanga - I totally understand
this happens to me a lot.
I dunno how to fix it, really.
i'm strangely outgoing with guys i like. it's very strange. but guys i think are cute, but not yet have developed a crush, i don't even dare speak to them.
maybe you're "putting him on a pedastal," which is why it's hard for you to talk to him.
maybe talk to another friend right before you talk to him, so you have something to talk about, and maybe it'll relax you.
or maybe plan out a list of topics to talk to him about.
I start yawning when I'm nervous. Now that is awkward.
Yes :( I practically become Invisible Woman when I'm around a guy I like...so he probably thinks I'm one of those people who is only capable of holding a conversation over the Internet (which is not true at all).
If the beating your head against a wall thing helps, let me know. -_-'
I'm always a shy, quiet person, but it's so much worse, because I blush or keep my eyes off of the person I'm attracted to. It killed me to be partnered up with the same guy twice in class. Couldn't even laugh at our silly assignment about being abandoned on an island.
You could drink around him, makes socializing a lot easier. This is if you're of age to drink though. Lol.
story of my highschool life!! good god, whenever my crush was around me, i would shrivel up a majority of the time, completely unable to articulate a single thing; and the rare few occasions that i did manage to say something, i'd come off as a sarcastic buffoon. [don't try too hard to sound cool kiddies, it never works.]
years later i realized that i'd idealized the guy to the extent that i was silenced in awe every time he came around. my advice? acknowledge that while the guy may seem great, chances are that he's got his own imperfections and insecurities just like anyone else. you shouldn't have to impress him; and if he doesn't like you or accept you for who you really are, then tough.
there are plenty of fish in the sea. =) best of luck!
you should smoke some weed.
I make jokes about myself. =) Doesn't mean they'll laugh though but usually they'll humor me. Plus it lets them know you have enough confidence in yourself that you are able to do that with a smile on your face, and who doesn't like a smiling face?
I sometimes find that embedding cutlery in your eye socket will get the conversation flowing naturally again. It's like injecting inspiration right into your bloodstream. Or something.
"My capability of being able to start and maintain conversations flee from me and I am substituted with being a quiet, shy nervous girl."
It does take practise.
I use to be extremely afraid and I actually was one of the shyest persons ever. At first -- when I tried to teach myself to not be so scared, I would always embarass myself (i.e. failure). Then, I started to not care that I would embarass myself. And now I'm comfortable going everywhere and meeting new people all the time.