Saturday, 17 October 2009
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The Art of the Pickup: Giggity Giggity
"Hel-lo, cutie patootie," my friend whispers under his breath. He is barely audible to me, and the cutie patootie definitely cannot hear him. "I noticed you were trying to get somewhere, giggity, gig, gig," he mumbles through his smirk. I roll up his window and drive past the jogging girl.
He turns to me and asks coolly, with a serious expression on his face, "Why did you roll the window up? I was totally going to get her digits."
I know he wasn't going to get her number. I think I even know he wasn't going to ask. The truth is the art of the pickup is a lie. Yet, we like to imagine that if we drop the right line or wear the right clothes, we can easily slide into the lives of an attractive stranger.
If we just knew that one icebreaker or that one move, we could have anyone. We have all seen it, and most of us have at least one token promiscuous friend. Everywhere I look, people cling to their friends, desperately seeking the formula for meeting new people. You see it too; it's in television, movies, books, and magazines, but so many of us are still alone, waiting for that epiphany when we discover the formula or when someone finally approaches us.
Here it is: there is no magic formula. And, you will never meet someone, if you are just waiting.
I hope the following questions, which I encourage you to answer in the comment section below, help your introspective and interpersonal growth:
1) What are some things you do to let those around you know that you are approachable?
2) What do you say to help break the ice?
3) What are the attractive and not-so attractive things you notice when someone is trying to "put the moves on" you?
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- From: pandoratheexplorer@xanga
- Name: Pandora
- About Me: Making sense of the nonsensical
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Comments (23)
1. I usually try to do the initiating of conversation first. Sometimes, I get a drink in hand to help me loosen up a bit if I'm at a party.
2. I introduce myself and starting chatting about what they do, where they go to school, etc. In other words, I am myself around people.
3. One unattractive thing when I see guys trying to pick up girls is that they seem to try too hard. Either that, or they act like complete tools.
1) I know keeping your arms and legs uncrossed can make you seem more approachable. Also, people can tell I'm pretty honest and open by the things I say, so I think I seem less standoffish because of that.
2) I'm in college, so there are a million things you can talk about...major, student organizations, which dorm you live in, your classes, etc.
3) Basically if a guy has a chill attitude and does not look like a rapist, he's not creepy.
If a really cocky guy comes up to me, I cross him off as a potential boyfriend, though I don't mind talking to cocky guys for a while.
POLAR BEAR!
..oops. i just broke the ice. :]
1) Drink, take shots with strangers, have a smile on?
2) Hey hey you want to take a shot with me?! :D (at a party) Outside of parties I just casually introduce myself and just talk to them normally like a regular person.
3) What moves? I'm a dude, I don't get hit on... or am very oblivious to it.
@cornyonacob@xanga - Wahahaha. =D
1) Smiling and laughing usually gives a green light.
2) "come here often?" just kidding, but I will ask them who they're here with, etc...I need someone with a sense of humor! If it's at a social function, ask what they do and talk about hobbies. Find some common ground if any.
3) A big turn off would be if he's pompous and constantly talking about himself. No one wants to date a conceited narcissist who thinks he's gods gift to women.
1. Look really mean, glare and growl when they come in your direction. You'll seem increibly approachable.
2.hmm, to break the ice? "Don't run, I'll only get mad and ... I'm.. I'm not responsible for what I do. I tend to flip." or "Hey, you look ok. I bet if I close my eyes I can pretend you're someone else, wanna have sex tonight?!"
3. And, it's really attractive when guys randomly grab my body, ask for my credit card, and it's not so attractive, when they're really nice.
haha jk.
1. Hmmmm, smile, and try to make eye contact (corny, i knnow)
2. "Hey you look really familiar?" "Really?" "Yeah. Do I know you?" "Umm, I don't think so." "oh wow, you look so familiar. Anyway, what's your name?" etc etc.
3.It's not attractive when the pick up lines are way over the top cause then you come off like you might be a player, and I'd tend to stop talking to a player. Just maybe a nice, simple compliment like "I've never seen someone with your color eyes, they're really pretty."
lol just be urself seriously haha
i like this . great way of putting it enjoy the outlook on it.
don't try to hard you come off as desperate and chances are youll be liked better if you do things by accident that's my pholisphy.
my party move is to slap a girl in the butt and shout a random name, pretend that i got the wrong person and start the conversation from there.
how well it works? i'd let you guys know once i find my teeeth
AP
I smile and I say hi. I act like myself and I try to ask questions about them. Usually if I don't get their interest within like 10 minutes, im gone!
The art of pick-up is a lie? Haha oh goodness, I have to disagree. Of course it's an art, so most people aren't gifted with the talent for it or haven't actually learned how to do it, but it's no lie. I'm not saying you have get ANYONE with the correct approach, but you can definitely break ice, make conversation, and even get physical contact just from studying social interactions a bit and using them in your favor (manipulating them). But, that's a different subject =P
1) Usually, I'm always smiling and cracking jokes, making people around me laugh. Most of the time, I'll just bring random people into the conversation or joke, which shows everyone in the vicinity that I'm approachable and just want to share a good time.
2) Anything. There's barely a wrong way of breaking the ice. Even if you say something completely wrong or mean, if you play it off right, it won't even matter.
3) Coming on too strongly is always a turn-off, even if they are beautiful. I've had gorgeous girls (not bragging, it just randomly happens due to statistical probability I promise) come on too strongly, and it's killed it for me. I was even planning on going out with a girl until she spent all night asking me to dance with her. Couldn't get to like her afterward.
1) I smile. Introduce myself. Ask a few questions, get people to open up, look like I'm having fun and being happy. I hate when people sulk in a corner to try and get people to notice them. It's stupid. Be outgoing and stop pussyfooting around, you'll never meet anyone that way.
2) Oh, I start out with a few pickup lines, for example: "Does a pirate captain put his parrot on this shoulder...or THIS one?" *arm around the person* ...Just kidding, or not. It's worked before, I have a few numbers because of it XD. What I really do is I comment on their clothing. Or just walk right up and approach them and start a conversation about anything. No flirting, just getting to know them.
3) You know those guys who are trying to be subtle about it but it's actually REALLY obvious? I think that is incredibly unattractive. Get on with it. I like it when a guy is straightforward and can keep up with my weirdo personality and actually LIKE me for it. When guys say they like my personality just to hook up with me, it's annoying and such a letdown.
Outgoing guys like mah boi are the best.
i combine 1 and 2. break the ice to let people know you're approachable. start up small talk or something. and lines are usually pretty unattractive.
1) smile. make eye contact, say hi.
2) say hi, introduce myself, as a question.
3) unattractive: the guy is too forward, putting his hand on me, or his arm around me, getting too sexual or personal when I just meet him; bragging about all the other chicks that want him.
attractive: making me laugh, showing that he has a fun personality.
1. i don't do anything. unfortunately, i close myself off, praying that no one approaches me, but secretly hoping that they will.
2. i talk about movies A LOT, because i mean, everybody likes movies right? "have you seen..". i tend to bring up random shit about the universe and outerspace too. nobody ever seems to like it though, however, my current boyfriend used to collect rockets, so yeah, i found my soulmate.
3. i like it when they use my name. i HATE it when they forget it. that's literally a deal-breaker if you forget my name. if a guy makes me feel like i'm the most important person in the room, that works fairly well.
i have a way of seeming more unapproachable than i really am. but for the most part i use it to my own advantage and talk to the people i want without having the filter out those and the ones i don't want to talk to. and honestly, i just talk. if it's reciprocated- great. if not, it's not the end of the world. people say i have an open smile so people will know i'm genuinely interested in talking to them if i flash in a smile in the conversation. easy as that. you never know anything based on a person's appearance. maybe they seem open and insteead is truly conceited and rude? maybe they seem rude with their arms crossed but are shy and insecure? just talk to them and you might get along. there are so many people in the world, there's bound to be people you connect with.
and please men. keep the pick up lines to yourself. but to tell you the truth, quagmire's "giggity giggity" makes me giggle when it comes from the right time from the right person. haha
1) What are some things you do to let those around you know that you are approachable?
I am always pretty approachable. I am a tiny, bubbly, blonde. I am very social and since I'm small not very intimidating. Wearing a smile is always a good look. :D
2) What do you say to help break the ice?
I introduce myself, shake hands, and such. Usually compliment them on something and then try and find some common ground. I ask them questions about themselves because most people like to talk about themselves. Also throwing in a few jokes here and there doesn't hurt!
3) What are the attractive and not-so attractive things you notice when someone is trying to "put the moves on" you?
It really honestly depends on the guy. If he isn't attractive but he's pulling the cocky card, it's not going to work. If he's attractive and loud and cocky, then pulling that card would work on me since I enjoy cocky guys. But if they aren't very attractive, then the whole just small talk being nice thing works well. At least that's for me.
@yukarimayhem@xanga - "Be yourself" is really an overplayed cliché! Especially when the vague essence of "yourself" can be something good or bad.
No, *DON'T* be yourself.
Be a socially attractive person -- and that in itself is a really lengthy description that you really have to figure out on your own to really understand. The person "yourself" becomes is what happens when you find out what a "socially attractive person" is.
@TangMSU@xanga - you should never try to change yourself to attract another person, because then you're trapped in that relationship being something that they expect you to be, that isn't a true reflection of yourself.
@TangMSU@xanga - @yukarimayhem@xanga - I agree with yukari! You shouldn't lead anyone on with a fake attitude. It's good to be honest. Not everyone is a socially attractive person. Everyone comes with different personalities, and have different interests. I for one, am a somewhat socially inept person, and it's part of my personality. I am a quiet, shy, and socially awkward.
I wanted to comment on your anecdote. Thank you for rolling up that window because as a woman, men who make catcalls like that while I'm walking down the street offends me. It is as you said, they have no intention of approaching me for a number; they are not interested in getting to know me as a person; they are only interested in me as a piece of meat for some temporary distraction. It's cowardly and a complete imbalance of power for a group of men driving by in a car to catcall at a woman walking down the street. Often the woman is alone and often it's a group of men. When this happens at night, it makes the woman feel incredibly afraid, but even in broad daylight, this kind of behavior is still threatening and unacceptable. What your friend was doing was not "picking up." Your friend was objectifying and thank you for rolling up that window.
@yukarimayhem@xanga - That's what people say but in actuality (hence, an overplayed cliché) it doesn't work that way.
Once you get through the nuances of meeting someone, you'll have plenty of time to "be yourself".
Cockiness is gross. It's a big turn off, a guy who thinks that he can win me over with one sentence. Rather, a guy who knows that he must win me through getting to know me and showing what's different about himself compared to other guys.
Any guy who's not prepared to spend time and effort to win me over is not going to get far. Same thing for me. If I want to win a guy over, I know I have to spend time making him see what's unique about me and letting him know I think he's special.
Serioulsy, 99% of the time, just "Hi, my name's ______, what's yours?" is good enough ice breaker. I'm serious. I wouldn't reject you right off the bat for saying something like that.