Saturday, 17 October 2009
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WYD Someone You Aren't Physically Attracted To
People always say that it's the personality that matters. But how far does it go? Would you date someone that you don't find physically attractive at all?
I don't think I could. I am not saying it's all about looks, but I believe the physical part of a relationship is very important. What good does personality do if you are forcing yourself to kiss that person?
What do you think?
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- From: Just_A_Filipino@xanga
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Comments (88)
Yeah, because the more I like someone's personality, the more I find I like the way they look. I'd still give someone a chance, even if I didn't immediately find them attractive.
i would not date someone i to whom wasn't physically attracted.
i think personality is so much more important than looks. but id give it a go.
I think I'd try... depending on how much I love their personality.
There has to be some kind of physical attraction that goes with being in a relationship. If I could tell if a guy is not physically attracted to me and he is dating me, I would wonder if he was just stringing me along until he finds someone better or he is just using me for something.
well, i wouldn't be asking for a calvin klein model or anything, but there needs to be physical attraction before i can have a relationship with someone. we can sit here and say "personality is all that matters" until the cows come home but we all know that's a lie.
I believe personality is everything. I've dated "hot guys" who I ended up dumping cause they were self centered and boring, and "ugly" guys who were the exact same way! I'm with my husband, and I think I got the best deal cause I find him extreamly gorgeous, and I adore every aspect of his personality. I think he just got the personality side of the spectrum :) poor guy
I agree with you. I think (call me shallow) that if I'm not attracted to you physically, but our personality's click I found a great friend. We can hang out and spend our time as friends. The difference between a relationship and a close friendship in great part is the physical expression of your feelings. Since I think falling in love is allowing yourself to care more about a particular person and hense a choice, I cannot fall in love, or will not allow myself to fall in love with someone who I do not want to be physical with. I feel that if the physical attraction isn't there, then it's never going to work out long term, because whether you like it or not a healthy sex life (at some point in the life of the relationship) is necessary for the relationship's survival.
heh. My first boyfriend was like that; he's a really sweet, nice, smart guy, who I'm not the least bit attracted to.
It didn't work out. It's not 'shallow' to want to be with someone you're attracted to, or to NOT want to be with someone you aren't attracted to. Personalities add to attraction! I know some guys that are really nice, but they're pushovers, and their personalities aren't attractive at all.
Conversely, I also know ok-looking guys that have badass confident personalities that make them wayyyy hotter. Personalities matter, when it comes to attraction.
But really, if you'd never want to fuck 'em, don't date 'em. Seriously-- pity-dating (dating a nice guy because he's nice, but unattractive to you) is probably the cruelest thing you could do.
Date people you're ATTRACTED TO. For personality, for looks, for everything. If he's nice but you aren't attracted, then JUST BE HIS FRIEND. Christ. And stop thinking that personality is separate from attraction. It isn't. Haven't you ever seen a really hot girl/guy, and then heard them say something idiotic, and been completely turned off? Yeah. Personality MAKES them attractive.
They will become attractive to you eventually, if you really do like them for who they are.
I've had this happen to me with friends. I remember thinking they weren't attractive at first when I met them, but then after knowing them for some time thinking to myself that they were pretty.
I also didn't think my boyfriend was incredibly good looking when I met him.. now I think he's gorgeous.. but he doesn't count. Because he's lost weight and build up muscle since he's met me XD
My husband isn't the most attractive guy, but he's certainly not ugly. But his personality makes him five times as handsome and cute! Personality is still #1.
Personality DOES play a big part, but if you think the dude/girl is fug, you're not going to last very long. It's that simple. So no, I would NOT date somebody I didn't find physically attractive.
If they've got a great personality, be friends with them. You don't have to be physically attracted to your friends. And if you do end up finding yourself physically attracted to them as well, then date.
Although personality is definitely more important than looks, physical attraction is still part of a relationship. I don't think it's fair to either person if you date someone when the physical attraction (or the emotional, or the intellectual, for that matter) just isn't there. Like it or not, what you look like is a part of who you are. Look at the other side: would you want someone to date you if there was a significant part of you that they were not attracted to? (Not in a, "well, he/she is great, other than those few little quirks that drive me mad" kind of way, but in a "I don't find his/her looks/personality attractive, period" kind of way.")
Personally, I want my partner to find me attractive in every way. I am not just a body, but neither am I just a mind or just a personality. So because I wouldn't want someone to date me if they were not attracted to a significant part of who I am, then I apply the same standards to my partners.
I'm more for personality. And physical looks/ attractiveness only accommodates about 20% for me. So it's there and I do look for it... But overall, it really doesn't matter to me..
And, since I really don't look that good, I shouldn't really look for that too well anyway.
Why would you not try? The longer you know someone, no matter how you feel about their looks, the better or worse they look to you. I could meet a guy who does absolutely nothing for me when I first meet him, but after knowing him and finding out he's great I think I would see attractive things about him.
Isn't...the point of a relationship to be with someone you're attracted to, both on the outside
andinside? It would likely fail if either one is missing.
I would have rated my last boyfriend a 4-6 out of 10, but after I dated him for a few years, he looked physically perfect at times to me.
i dont think i would.. but then again.. im not sure ><
No...I knew and admired a lot of amazing and sweet guys but never dated them because the physical attraction wasn't there.
there are people that don't look like eye-candies, but they're gifted with the greatest personalities. I usually grow into liking them after getting to know them. Because they have great personalities, they become attractive to me.
I've dated a guy that I wasn't into his looks at the beginning, but his personalities are superb among a lot of the people I know, I started to find him attractive (not that he was fugly, just not as good looking) after getting to know him. We dated for a short period. Things didn't work out between us because we have different life goals and beliefs. We're still the greatest of friends until today.
I think there needs to be balance no matter what...I'm not looking for gorgeous, I'm looking for cute to match a cute personality. I think in that sense, you're not asking for too much, and it's more practical to find someone like that.
I wouldn't date someone that wasn't even close to looking looking well-groomed/butt ugly.
But I wouldn't date a guy that looked so hott that he was always looking in a mirror or something then acting all conceited.There's this thing they call "friendship."
Beauty is subjective. Somebody could find a person who isn't physically good looking attractive because personality shines through like that and somebody could just not find them attractive at all.
I'm still debating on that. I have a great friend. He's there for me all the way. Just one problem, I am not physically attracted to him but then again, maybe that would change if we do spend some time together.
I don't know. Looks do matter to a certain extent. My take on it.
i grew physically attracted to my bf, i think, while we were friends.
i think i always loved his personality...