Friday, 16 October 2009
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FML Friday!
Fmylife.com contains short day-to-day life anecdotes. A simple recipe: in one sentence, each site visitor can tell the shitty moment which ruined his day. These short stories must begin with "Today" and end with "FML".
Here are our favorite five submissions from F*** My Life this week:
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FMLToday, I finally plucked up the courage to propose to my girlfriend of 7 months. I took her out to the park where we had our first kiss, I got down on one knee, and before I could say "Will you marry me" a bird shat on my head. FML
Today, I was enjoying some "alone time" with the detachable shower head when someone flushed the toilet, causing the cold water to run out and badly scald my genitals. It hurts to walk. FML
Today, I was texting a girl that I've liked for some time. When I asked her what she was doing, she replied "texting and p.s. I love you". I replied by telling her my feelings for her. Turns out "p.s. I love you" was the name of the movie she was watching with her friends. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he always thought the female orgasm was an urban legend. FML
That last one reminded me of Forgetting Sarah Marshall: "Life is full of lessons. You learn something new every day so... I wonder what I'm going to learn tomorrow. Off to find the mythical clitoris!"
Good luck to you and Happy Friday!
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Comments (14)
Hahaha good ones. :)
the p.s i love you one is something i would do.
hahaha. i love theseeeeee.
xo
haha
HAHAHA the second one is hilarious. The bird probably shit on his head because he was proposing after only 7 MONTHS.
hahaha i loved the shower head one :)
mehhh they're not that funny.
let's look at MLIA instead.
Today I read a paper that I wrote to myself in 1st grade. One of the questions was "What is your biggest fear?" Most kids wrote about the dark or thunderstorms. I wrote that I feared one day they would stop making french fries. MLIA
Today, I saw that my ironing board cover was wrinkled. I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because irony has the word iron in it. MLIA
Today, I took my family to a theme park. My six-year-old daughter wanted to ride the swan paddleboats to "feel like a cygnet". A cygnet is a baby swan. I had to look it up because I was too embarrassed to ask my daughter about it. Now I'm not sure whether I feel stupid for not knowing, or happy that my daughter is so smart. MLIA
Today my mom told me that whatever perfume I was wearing, smelt like crap. I then spent the rest of the day debating with myself whether or not to confess to her that I had actually stolen some of hers. MLIA.
amazing.
Hahaha. :)
@snapeful@xanga - MLIA is better than FML. :)
the p.s i love you one is adorabbbble :)
@Duhiana@xanga - for sure!
P.S I Love You, Lol. My pity points.
the ps i love you was effing hilarious!
not sure about the one where he uses the detachable shower head for pleasure? how are you getting please from that? i dont get it? kinda wierd 0.0'