Next week turns a year since I'm dating this guy, who I'm gonna call Mr. Blond (yeah, he and I are big fans of Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs, and no, he's not blond... whatever!).
So a year ago, Mr. Blond and I first met at the first day of college, a mutual friend introduced us, and I don't know why but we immediately clicked! That same day he asked me out. I said I was too busy. Two weeks after that he asked me out again, and I agreed. Since then we go out like at least once at week! We go to parties together, karaokes, birthday parties, etc. and in every event people tell us how cute we look together, even though we're not exactly a couple. This is weird to me, maybe 'cause I'm kind of an old fashion girl and I want him to tell me whether we're a couple romantically speaking or not!
We've been together for a year, and we've kiss each other, we've been together sexually speaking, and we've shared really intimate and personal moments with each other, like a couple would do, but Mr. Blond has never asked me formally to be his girlfriend! It confuses me! He's really sweet and honest with me, and he makes me feel amazing. He says I make him feel the same way, and he's also very loyal to me. But I still don't know if this is formal or what?
Have you been through the same? Can you help me out here? I really want to understand where I'm standing!
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Comments (73)
I know a guy who has been doing the same thing to his "girlfriend" for a year. technically speaking they are exclusive but he doesn't want everybody to know that they're a couple. Basically he wants to keep things quiet until he decides whether or not people should know that they're an item.
i think its pretty obvious you two are together. =P you dont need a label to tell you that.
you aren't a couple. if you wanted that talk from him, you should have done that with him earlier and not wait a year. i've been with guys like this before and they're just in it for one thing, sex. it's not going to change. the minute you bring up being a couple, he's going to turn weird on you. or at least the situation is going to sticky. and if he really wanted to be with you, he would have addressed that a long time ago. it's one of the biggest mistake us girls do, fall for unavailable guys.
if you want the security :)
ask him about it
like talk to him
i'm sure it'll be awesome
x
its been a year! i think you guys are a couple.
@mewithoutu77@xanga - i totally agree with you on this.
i have a friend who's in this situation and she refuses to talk to the guy about the relationship because he will get weird after. but she can't let him go. =/
Seriously? Since when does a label make you a couple? If you act like a couple, chances are.... you are a couple. Who cares if you haven't made it official?
I think you should bring it up. Sometimes guys don't think bringing it up is important. He might not realize that there's something missing. If the feelings he says are true, then you have nothing to worry about. Good luckE
I've seen 2 people do couple things together but not be a couple. If you want your answer, you'll have to ask him directly. In my opinion, you guys seem like a couple.
@romeosintuition@xanga - werd...i dont think it's necessary to blatantly express that there is a title...love is love
...ask him?
or better yet...facebook! does it say your in a relationship with Mr.Blonde? if so...there ya go.
Talk to him about it but I'd have to agree with mewithoutu77 too. It happens a lot.
So you could ask him but keep in mind that it may also end there with him.
...erm ask?
@may16abby@xanga - lol just read urs after
Some guys don't know they have to "ask" a girl to be official with them. On the other hand, maybe he thinks it's a friendship with bebefits.
@MilkyWhitesezMoo@xanga - haha great minds, great minds!
like everyone else keeps saying, why don't you just ask him? if you're comfortable enough with him, asking should be fine. its nice to get some kind of security from him to know that you're not just some temporary "replaceable" girlfriend, so ask him. its fair game, and you deifniately have a right to know.
It could go either way--either he's using you/avoiding that label of being "a couple" OR he thinks it is assumed you are, based off your activities and life shared together. Regardless, it seems to have gotten to the point where you need to know for sure to have peace of mind. Discuss it with him openly. Whether it's what you hoped for or something else, at least you'll know and can move forward uninhibited by your thoughts..either with him or without him.
I wouldn't want to go any further if he thinks it is casual, to the point where your feelings grow deeper and the break will be harder on yourself. You deserve clarity--ask for it. Hope all works out.
Tell one of your "boyfriend's" friends. Honestly if you want a romantic proposal, there no other way. Tell your hubby's friend that you really want your boyfriend to formally go out with you.
you must be kidding...
I'd talk to him. If he gets weird about it, he probably wasn't who you thought he was anyways... and we all deserve someone who will treat us the best and love us to the fullest. But it sounds like he's legit a good guy. I wish you the best! :)
i *was* in this situation, till i was like .. theres too many girls around him, fuck this shit. ><
i think you guys are a couple (:
does he introduce you to people as his girlfriend? or does he say, this is my friend.. so and so.
that tells you a lot
of course you're a couple!!! haha thats ridiculous. i guess you could ask him about it if you really need the assurance. but its not like he can say "whoa whoa, i know i asked you out on a date and we've hung out all the time for a year and go to parties and events together and share personal moments and kiss and have sex all the time......but i thought we were just close friends!"
your question is like a guy asking "i go out to eat with this guy all the time, and we hang out alone, and make out, and have sex ......... am i gay?"
@wizexel22@xanga - hahahaha funny you should say that. no i have had a guy do that to me before