Thursday, 15 October 2009
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Don't Blame Love
"Everyone says love hurts, but that isn't true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt." -Unknown
This was a quote on my friend's Facebook that made me reevaluate what I've been saying about love. I always said, "Love is blind. Love makes you stupid. Love sucks." But I never realized it was because I was getting hurt that I was blaming love.Lies hurt
When I was a freshmen in high school, my first boyfriend liked one of my best friend when we were together. I broke up with him when I found out. I know sometimes, people do lie, but when I was younger, I always believed that there would be a boyfriend who would tell me everything. I was incredibly wrong, and obviously living in a dream world. Yet, I still try to tell the truth whenever I can. People sometimes think "It's okay. It's a white lie," or "It doesn't matter that much. It's just to keep us from arguing." No matter what, lies hurt. Challenge yourself. Can you go a week without lying? This includes when people ask how you feel, what you're thinking, and anything you normally would lie about.
Rejection hurts
Everyone wants to be accepted. When love is not returned, when it is misleading, when people turn their backs to you, that hurts. Luckily for girls, we never really have to ask the guys out. For guys, I just want you to know that even when a girl tells you she's not interested in you, it's okay. I know you hear this a lot, but it happens a lot. There are better fishes in the sea and if you really put yourself out there, if you push your boundaries to be with a girl, if you don't go cheap, show you really want a chance to be with her, she might just look at you in a different light. Just don't give up because of one rejection.
Cheating hurts
When I was a senior, my bf kissed another girl. I gave up on my first love because no matter how much I loved him, he never loved me. I've been there, and I've done it as well. I'm not going to say that I haven't, but I now try to stay away from cheating. Learn to close doors and cherish the ones you have in your life, because an instant second can take her/him away. Know that cheating is the painfullest way to hurt your significant other, and know that it will follow you throughout the rest of your life.
Broken promises hurt
In every relationship, there are promises made. I try not to make promises I can't keep. Usually when a relationship ends, those promises turn into blank statements, but thinking back, I really wished some promises was kept. If a guy promises me he'll take me somewhere, I would like us to go someday, even if it was just as friends. If a guy told me he'd always be there for me, I would hope that if we'd ever break up, he'd still be by my side as a friend when I needed him. I know this is nearly impossible because some people find it hard to stay friends, but if you knew that you couldn't keep that promise in case some day, something was to happen, please don't give hope to the people who do believe in you, even through broken relationships.
Love does not hurt.
For me, lies hurt. Rejection hurts. Cheating hurts. And broken promises hurt. Love is the only thing that does not hurt. Love actually helps you get through these pain. Love for yourself, love from your family and friends, and love for life. Love shows up in the least expected places and if you wait long enough, it will show up at your door.
Love, a writer whose gotten over pain thanks to new love.Have you ever blamed love for your pain? Or does love truly hurt?
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About the Author
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- From: tIl_Da_LaSt_TeArDrOp_FaLlS@xanga
- About Me: "I believe in true love. I believe in love at first sight. I believe love conquers all. Now that doesn't mean there's not going to be hard days and difficult things to deal with, because there will be, but finding that person who does it for you and knowing that that person loves you back, just makes everything so much easier." One Tree Hill moves and inspires me, which is what i hope my writing does for you.
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Comments (55)
I have before. I never though of it like this though. Thanks.
i blame love for allowing things like that to happen and happen again.
Love shouldn't hurt....
i like that. Love helps you get through the pain.
I feel sorry for people who think love isn't real. It's amazing
love is the only thing in the world that doesn't hurt.
it's so true.
love makes all those hurt go away.
i love this post ! : )
The absence of love hurts.
I never thought of it like this either. But its so true. Without the love of my friends, I would be a shell of a person.
blame it on the goose, got you feelin' loose. blame it on patron...
I have this quote on my facebook too.
I believe it wholeheartedly. :)
But then, none of those things would hurt nearly as much if you didn't love the person...
This was a really good post. I really enjoyed reading it. Point #2 has applied to me. The way I was able to gain the attention of my ex was not only by fighting for her attention, but helping her realize that I was worth giving her attention to.
Love makes us happy, and makes living life more worthwhile. It's the lack of love that brings us down. I would like to be in love more than anything at the present time...but I know eventually my time will come.
I haven't ever thought of it this way either. A lot of times, I have chalked my pain up to love, but really it is rejection that has always gotten me. Guys always know I like them, but it has only worked out once, and that was for a little while...
I like this!
love it!!
so true. and it does make you stop and think. sure love leads you to these things, but once you find love, it will never hurt you =]I totally agree with this post.
Lots of people like to get mad at what they don't have. : /
But without love, none of that hurts.
disagree.
all of the pain and suffering is what is involved in the process we call love. and therefore, using the fact that lies, rejection, cheating, and breaking promises are part of this love, love is a very painful thing indeed.
love <3
the funny thing is that lies, rejection, broken promises etc are what make love feel good.
I love this quote. <3
This post is amazing. :)
If someone truly loved you, they wouldn't lie, cheat, break promises, etc that's not love and love doesn't lead to those things. Granted arguments occur in any relationship, but you work through it.
Love doesn't hurt, it's just work...a process in which some people don't want to or just plain can't face. People assume love comes easy which is why they get themselves into these messes of dating cheaters, liars, etc and the saying is true, "love is blind" but it's only temporary. Not far into it, does the veil get lifted from your eyes and you come to find that it wasn't love (because to me, love can only exist if it is reciprocated. If it isn't then it's merely lust or someone getting tricked to believe they were in love and loved back). Sure it sounds corny and yea people could probably find holes in my theory, but it's what I believe. Great post.
For the "broken promises hurt" part, I definitely know what you mean. There were a lot of things my ex and I wanted to do together, and places we wanted to go, and he said he would take me to those places or do those things. I still want to do those things and go to those places with him. The funny thing is, I also want to punch him in the face. Does that make sense to anyone?
I think you are right, true compatible love does not hurt.
It's in the aftermath of love lost that you find yourself void. Great love shows what you're missing and never had in your possession and no matter how strong, how great you thought you were before and while in love it does not bear how little, how insignificant you feel after you lose it.
Like the Bible phrase "...but I do not have love, I gain nothing."