Thursday, 15 October 2009
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Sexual Experimentation Is Not Promiscuity
I would enjoy a debate about a topic I feel very strongly about.
We are all so keen on getting involved in loving, caring relationships, seeking blissful marriage and happy families. Although I agree with this as a long-term goal, I think that too often, we do not give ourselves the opportunity to gain experience and get the chance to explore our own sexuality.
All too often we read about couples in relationships where the sex is unsatisfactory. I feel it is very important to enjoy our bodies and learn to enjoy sex before taking the leap and settling down. How can we possibly know if what we are getting is good or bad sex if we have never had the chance to experiment?
What do you think? Is sexual experimentation promiscuity?
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- From: Rascalides
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Comments (89)
Yes "experimentation" is promiscuity. I'd much rather marry a virgin who saved herself for me than to marry someone who went around "gaining experiencing" and "trying new things" with other men.
In a relationship or when you are single?
@MagisterTom@xanga - I kinda agree with you there. Here's a question, would you rather have your SO be experimental with you instead of other men?
Goodness, those Ken dolls don't have penises.
@The__Aesthete@xanga - I'll assume you mean inside of marriage. And, yes I'd much rather her experiments be with me, definitely not with other guys.
@MagisterTom@xanga - I think I agree. It seems as if by "experimentation" you mean "sleeping around". That doesn't really give the same results as experimentation.
Sex is always awkward and weird the first time with someone, virgins or not. If you experiment with your SO, it's better - get a dialogue going, try new things, etc. and you can realize what you like and don't like. Couples whose sex life is unsatisfactory have communication problems and probably an inability to compromise - it more than likely has nothing to do with sexual skill or experience.
It's the same thing, calling it "experimentation" is just trying to excuse or sugar-coat the action. I consider myself quite open and experimental sexually only rather than go out and screw different people I've done it with my boyfriend.
No one's just plain "bad" at sex so there's no need to "gain experience" with others. To be good at sex you need three things: knowing your body/what pleases you, being open to new things (this doesn't mean you have to try EVERYTHING, limits are good), and communication between you and your partner. If you're not telling your partner what pleases you or vise versa then of course the sex won't be great.
You don't need to be "experienced" or "experimental" to know how to have good sex, it's common sense.
@MagisterTom@xanga - What about if the woman marries you and THEN, decides to experiment sexually with you? That's what the whole boring sex thing is referencing. After all, there has been plenty of couples, even those, marrried who feel like the sex doesn't have that same "oomph". Excus the cliche.
Durex company must thank u for this.
When it comes down to it, people really shouldn't care whether or not someone is going to see them "experienced" or "promiscuous." This is a society where you could donate millions of dollars to charities, fight a war for your country, and give a kidney to a dying child- all of it would take a backseat because you're a crappy person if you've slept with more than 4
partners in your lifetime.
For the most part I don't think experimenting, with sexuality or anything else, is a bad thing as long as it's consensual and it's not hurting someone. There's a lot of grey area.
Well, by definition, sex with many partners is promiscuity. Whether or not that's good/bad is another matter altogether.
I'm actually with most of the other commenters on this one --I fully support sexual experimentation within a relationship, but I don't think gaining experience with many partners is necessary in order to have a fulfilling/exciting sex life. If that's what you want to do and that's what works for you, fine; I certainly won't call you a bad person for it. But I don't think it's something that everybody needs to do.
Sex is one of those things that improves with practice, as long as both partners are open and honest with each other about what feels good/bad --you don't need "practice shots" with lots of other people in order to have good sex, you can just as well practice with one person. As to how you would know if it was good or bad sex, that's easy --if it feels good, it's good. If it feels bad, it's bad!
However, I do think it's important to explore your own body through masturbation so that you know what feels good for yourself! This, imo, is far more important than experience with different partners.
I like sex and I figure the more sex the better. Why not? It's all about having some good (yet safe) sex. Why the hell not? I think sexuality is something that should not be repressed or judged in any way. If people choose to stay virgins than we should all respect that. On the other end, if women choose to "sleep around" than we should respect that just as much. I am tired of the sexual double standard and stigmatization that does not allow women to freely enjoy sex yet affords men accolades for expressing their natural sexual desires.
Get over it. Sex is fun. Dont deny it.
@RazorBladeParade@xanga - i agree. thank you for replying - now i don't have to type my own explaination. :)
I don't want to risk diseases, etc. Call me old-fashioned, but I actually cherish sex enough to not go do it with any random guy that catches my eye because I think he'd be fun to "experiment" with- I can do the exact same experimentations in a committed relationship.
I didn't need a bunch of partners to get "good" at sex. I practiced all I wanted with the one I have.
$0.2.
i agree with you completely.
if i'm going to marry someone, i want to know that they can satisfy me in bed. and that i can return the favor. practice makes perfect, right? of course i suppose too much makes you a whore, but whatever.
sex is awesome.
@chayswag@xanga - yeah agree. i experiment all the time - with my boyfriend whom i've been with nearly 2 years. not the same as promiscuous.
@TheHiddenRose86@xanga - There are no double standards present here. Those of us against promiscuity are against it for males and females. If a man says he'd prefer a woman who saved herself for him, that means exactly that. It does not in any way imply that it is okay for men but not for women to be promiscuous; unless you know for a fact that that statement makes him a hypocrite or that he supports male promiscuity. So just keep playing Russian Roulette, but make sure you continue to do it "safely."
Experimentation is not always promiscuity. Promiscuity is not always experimentation. But both can happen at the same time.
This is why there are STI's and AIDS in the world.
If you use protection and know that you and the person you want to have sex with is STD free, then why not? It is not our place to judge other's choices.
Of course it is. That's just a way of justifying it by renaming it. If you're going to do that, just admit that you're promiscuis.
I'd like to see upclose different body types
not necesarily sleep with them. maybe a handjob;) they have to be sanitized first of course. it depends if the person is randomly finding their sexual specimens at bars like a whore or they decide to date the person and get to know that person instead of using that person as an object to experiment on unless both are mutually using one another as sex toys. nobody has to know
not that i'm a fan of bed-hopping, but "promiscuity" gets such a bad rap. consenting adults can do whatever they want.
It is when you've experimented with half the people at the wedding. When a person is called a slut or promiscuous what the person "thinks" doesn't matter. What matters is what the people whispering slut think about the person.
Yes. It is. It really just sounds like an excuse to go around a be a youknowwhat..