Have you ever felt empty? No,it's not the feeling after an exam where your brain blanks out and you feel like a walking zombie. And, it's definitely not the feeling at the pit of your stomach after miles and miles of hiking with no food. When I feel empty, I feel like there's a hole in my heart. It's a hole that is unable to be filled by food, or knowledge. Hugs from friends and family help, but time always prevails. After an hour or so, I am left with the exact same feeling of emptiness.
Perhaps you know what I am talking about. You have felt this emptiness too when a person you love has passed away, if they are ill, or if they are simply too far away from you. Memories rush through your head. Memories of the time when they made a clever joke about you, and you shoved them slightly because it was mean. But inside you were smiling ever so radiantly because, you admit, the joke was pretty damn funny. Or it's the memories of you talking to them for hours as the moon rose and fell across the night sky, making you realize that time must not have wings, but jet-rockets to have flown by so quickly. These thoughts that bring a smile to your face disappear as quickly as they appear. Soon, you are still left with the feeling of emptiness.
I realized that I am overcome by this feeling much more when I am in a relationship. When I am single, I rarely feel such a way. Maybe this is why those who have never been in relationships long to be in one, so they too can try out this feeling of emptiness (love). Or, this is why people who stay single, stay single. So they don't ever feel this feeling of emptiness (vulnerability). I know everyone who has ever loved has shared this emptiness (pain) of being in love. I guess it is an unavoidable part of love. Without this emptiness(pain), how can there be love? Without sadness, how can there be happiness? Without bad, how can there be good?
I know that some people would describe this feeling as "longing" or "worrying." But is it really? Can't I also call it love, vulnerability, or even pain? Me? What do I call all these feelings that go hand in hand with love? I call it emptiness. Have you ever had an extreme case of emptiness? Why? Please comment.
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Comments (50)
I'm feeling an extreme case of emptiness right now. My boyfriend and I have been banned from seeing each other and the pain is excrutiating. It's a horrible feeling of lonliness unlike any I've ever felt before. It hurts. And the only thing that will make it go away is having my boyfriend here with me.
Ive felt emptiness and continue to do so, but what helps me is to focus on something else like school, I try to distract myself from being sad. After a while, I forget about it.
Nah, never felt it. I'm happy being alone. I might have felt upset when my grandma died, but it was her time and crying about it wasn't going to do anything.
I'm not sure what this "emptiness" is supposed to feel like, but meh.
Riveting tale, chap.
- Kunoichi
Yeah, I know exactly how you feel.
They happen when my insecureties get the best of me,like today.
Romantically, no, I've never felt empty. Then again, I've never had a romantic relationship and I'm aromantic, so what do I know. I have felt empty when it comes to my non-romantic relationships, but that's because I'm a reluctant loner. I feel that if I were less introverted I wouldn't be so lonely.
I
felt like this when my mom passed away.I was 14 and it took me about 3
years to slowly seal the hole. And I would say that can still feel the
emptiness sometimes whenever I saw a mother and a daughter laughing..
doing the mother-daughter thingy, you know.
Yes, it can go hand
in hand with love. When you love someone, you reserved a part of your
heart for them, and when they went away, they took the portion with
them. Regardless you like it or not.
Yeah. Emptiness sucks.
i understand what you mean but i think someone whos never been in a serious relationship knows what emptiness feels like.
u can be empty if you dont feel accepted or you dont feel loved by not just a SO but by a family....
I have felt empty many times while I was away at college and let me tell you...it is one of the most humbling and human feelings I have ever experienced. It reminds me of who I am and how vulnerable a person I am as well...it also reminds me that as significant as I think I am...in the whole scheme of things...I am really nothing.
very powerful feeling
Currently, I feel empty cause of a test at college BUT I do know the empty feeling VERY well. I miss my ex like crazy even though he was really awful.
Yes. Long distance relationship. She left for a study abroad and we had little to no contact for 2 months. Now we talk every 3 days for less than a few minutes. We're only together during breaks. I used to talk to her every night.
Depression is usually why I feel what you're describing. It was the worst when I was depressed and missing my boyfriend so terribly. He was all that I had- and my heart felt like it had been sucked out.
Now, depression is what causes this for me. It is such a terrible feeling. Like you can't even breathe or move or anything. I don't think it has much to do with love though. Maybe it's just a culmination of every negative aspect of love that there is.
I relate this post to a few different things personally:
---The way I felt when I was in a long distance relationship with my ex girlfriend.
---The way I felt for months after my ex passed away (not the same as the LDR ex).
---The way I feel on the drive back to my college after saying bye to my friends and family.
My boyfriend of three years and I just broke up. So this blog pretty much epitomizes my life right now. Its sucks and its harsh and very hard to get over. :/
I wish I could just fight with him again... then at least then he would still be around. Our past killed our future. We were so in love that we took advantage of it. he threw me away and i picked up other boys and it hurt him but i always knew he was the one i wanted. he wanted me too but we pushed each other away because we thought its what we had to do to better ourselves. with every new relationship, is was just another failed attempt to fill that void. to fill up my heart with love again, but its never the same. i want to be with him and him only but he wont have me... and only at certain times, when the loneliness haunts me, do i even allow myself to say that i still love him. but this emptiness you speak up, its drowning me right now and my eyes are ready to relieve the pressure i would do anything just to have one more day with him.
I wish I could say I didn't know what you're talking about, but I do. All too well. :/ I feel like this everytime me and my boyfriend have an agruement or I feel like I'm losing him or when I don't see him.
I only get that shitty emptiness feeling when I'm single. I'm feeling it right now :(
mm... idk. i have felt vast, vast emptiness in my single days. in a relationship, is more like a great agonizing electrocution if we have a disagreement. i feel hurt on many levels in this one, since we were also best friends before, i'm not just some silly "girlfriend" bunny who needs to be protected from the truth ... i'm ranting, huh.
but when we are good, we are GOOD. bold/underline/italic/caps. and that is 9 times/10.
ha. Its crazy, ive tried explaining this feeling to people and i always just tell them i have a "deep" feeling at around my diaphragm area. i always called it a hole. and it always sorta lingers there. when i listen to a love song, the hole feels like its been decorated and feels a lil more pretty. the only real time its gone is when i laugh. laughing is the best remedy i guess :p but all other times.. that hole hits me around alot. and its something else, sometimes its worse than other times. These "holes" are felt differently by alot of people im sure, and there are some people that say they dont know why they have these holes.. thats completely untrue. you always know why you're depressed :P thats what it is. depression, sadness. Longing, like the author said. blahh then again, im a teenager :P i think the reason this hole exists is a good one, but then again i could be over emphasizing things because of my fluxuating hormones :P lmfaoo. Well its good to know im not the only one who feels this.
@Stalinn@xanga - word
i don't feel empty when i'm with my boyfriend. however, he's far away, doesn't like to talk on the phone, and doesn't text often :/
but i get to see him in 2 more weeks.
There's no escaping it when you really loved someone and they've left. It can go on for years.
I have been through what you're talking about for the past 8 years being single. The past few months have the absolute hardest for me dealing with being single in medical school. Once I started the second year of medical school, the reality of the profession starts to set in because of the time it's gonna take just to finish and graduate. When you've been single as long as I have without dating anybody at all AND you're in professional school it's really hard to see how exactly your future will unfold after all the school/training you're gonna have to go through (like how you'll get married, etc). Recently a classmate of mine lost his fiance in a car accident. It's been really really rough on him trying to deal with his loss and it had me thinking all day about my own situation with being single for so long in comparison to him losing his fiance. This was someone he loved and was ready to spend the rest of his life with-and now she is gone. I can't even try to comprehend how he feels about it and I know it's much harder to go through something like that in comparison to being single for a long time. He doesn't know whether or not he will find someone else to marry in the future, especially being a medical student. With a lot of people getting married lately it's been a rough time for people like me who have been single for a long time-and I can't TRY to imagine what it's been like for my classmate.
Yeah it has been a year since I broke up with my ex. The search for a new partner is very slim and the feeling of emptiness is always attached whether we like it or not.
Yes. My cousin and I call it being hollow. It's triggered by different things for different people. Mine is triggered when I don't feel like I accomplish enough. Longing is a good word for it, since longing is a form of vulnerability, and is certainly painful.