Grey's Anatomy: Meredith Grey and McDreamy's relationship begins with a one-night stand and now they are married on a post-it. Regardless of the post-it, I think they are in love and are going to make it.
My question is...
Has anyone had a one-night stand where you were completely sober?
I would say that most one-night stands, personally and according to the media, occur through nights of drunken stupor. Nights such as these end in at least one of the parties asking themselves, "what did I do last night, and why?" The answer to the question is obvious. You engaged in sexual activity with someone, and you did it because you lack judgment when you are drunk.
Is the aftermath of a one night stand different for both genders?
Does one celebrate and the other wallow in regret?
I grew up in a household where sex and marriage only come in one package. If there is no marriage, then there definitely will be no sex. Sex joins two people into one body, and that body and union is most sacred. So then is it possible to feel nothing after a one-night stand; after a night where your bodies have joined in one in a sacred act of love?
Comments (42)
Yes, if it really is a one night stand.
I've never had a one night stand, but I'm not one to judge.
I think one night stands are disgusting.
Sex is sex. You can have sex with someone with or without love just like you can love someone with or without sex.
If there's any shame or regret after a one-night stand, part of it could derive itself from the idea that you presented of sex being "sacred" or bullshit of the like. If it weren't for attitudes like that, I'm sure that people wouldn't feel so guilty about having sex, however or whoever it may be. Hey, as long as it's safe and consensual, people should do what they want, sex-wise. It's their sex life, not ours.
@salvatruca_stalking_havok13@xanga - Exactly my thoughts. Well done.
@salvatruca_stalking_havok13@xanga - I agree.
It's certainly possible to have a one night stand with or without intoxication (the intoxication of sexual attraction discounted); but I don't think it's possible for a human being---a social creature who mates more for pleasure and bonding than for reproduction---to have sex truly without strings attached. Nor do I think we'd want to if we could; sex without emotional attachment is more masturbation than sex. The motivation for this is no doubt to avoid emotional vulnerability---but it ultimately does more harm than good. In essence the one night stand is founded upon a contradiction: You want all the fun of sex---which is primarily emotional---without the emotion.
@pnrj@xanga - I'm not saying it's immoral (it's not); rather, I'm saying it's self-defeating. One night stands rarely make people genuinely happy.
not really...most of girls feel rather empty after a one-nite stand...and so do I "
i've had two one night stands, both of which i was sober and both of which i don't normally talk about. in one case, i was taken advantage of and he didn't speak to me again. in the other case, we were both using each other..
i never asked myself what did i do and why. i asked myself why he would take advantage of me when i asked him not to. what i did wrong. i blamed myself. and the other guy.. well. i just asked him not to ever tell anyone. and he never has. the only person i've told is my husband.
i'm not proud of it, but there's not a moment in my life that i would change.
sex is sacred, and i hope there are not other girls who will make the same stupid mistakes that i did in high school.
Well...one night stands I know for SURE are not sacred nor full of love. Depends on the person; some are emotionally stable enough to not become emotionally involved during a one night stand while some people feel disgusting and empty.
i don't think sex (or anything, really) is "sacred," but i'm not a fan of random hook-ups.
Sex and love don't always go together.
sex is sex. It's like breathing or eating. Doesn't really mean too much to me. I've had 2 sober one night stands though-and that had mainly to do because of this awful break up I had-let's just say I was doing some crazy shit I normally would never do in the after math of that break up.
One cannot be emotionally stable after unless relatively emotionally empty before and after. If one considers (his/her)self to be at all a loving human being and also be capable of this without emotional consequences, then that person is definitely ignorant of a lot or overall very shallow from the perspective of any who truly are selfless.
@LlothoftheDrow@xanga - so just wondering, you REALLY think that sex is just like breathing or eating? because that's a really strong statement to make.
i don't do one night stands, but a close friend of mine does, and it's usually sober. she doesn't get attached and i guess it works out for her.
Not a fan of random hook ups. =/
@pnrj@xanga - yes i agree!
It all depends on the person. Some people can have one night stands and feel nothing, but for others, onenightstands will leave the lingering feeling of hollowness and guilt.
I am deff. not stable enough to ever have a one night stand, but hey, if you are, do what makes you happy (:
@ivarahBharavi@xanga - how so? i agree with her. i don't believe sex should have that heavy of a value on it. sex is sex. there's nothing sacred about it. there's nothing special about it. everyone does it. just how everyone eats and everyone sleeps. i'm perfectly capable of having a one night stand as i am to have a strong, loving relationship. both of which i have had.
@x_just_go_away_x@xanga - you're asking how it's a strong statement to make? well I guess I can't argue with your guys' opinions, but it's sad how sex has become so common that we consider it equal to eating and breathing. that's like saying that sex is an absolute necessity and that you must do it multiple times a day and that you'd die without it. you're still saying it's not a strong statement?
and I know that it's just one opinion against another so I won't argue with you other than to say it's sad you think that, but I just wanted to make sure she was sure she wanted to make that strong of a statement.
I had a one night stand with a guy. I felt nothing because I just wasn't attracted to him. Not even a little bit. If I had liked him a little, I probably would have felt something the next day or whatever.
From your wording, it's obvious you aren't able to do one night stands. Some people are able to separate their feelings from sex.
If I wanted a religious preaching I'd have gone to church o.o