Monday, 12 October 2009

• Cuddle Parties: a Do or a Don't?

  

  
  Have you ever just needed a cuddle? Wanted someone to hold you close, give you a bit of affection?  A little something, not a lot? Then say hello to the Cuddle Party! This is no ordinary slumber party--much as the name implies, it's a party dedicated solely to cuddling, affection, and non-sexual touch. According to the creators, "Cuddle Parties are safe spaces for adults to explore affectionate touch without sexualizing it."
  
  Picture it: 10 to 20 adults in pajamies curled together like newborn kittens. It seems like it'd be the prelude to a wild, anything goes orgy, but there are rules (see below) and the primary one is: no sex.

     1. Pajamas stay on the whole time.

     2. You don't have to cuddle anyone at a Cuddle Party, ever.

     3. You must ask permission and receive a verbal YES before you touch anyone. (Be as specific in your request as you can.)

     4. If you're a yes, say YES. If you're a no, say NO.

     5. If you're a maybe, say NO.

     6. You are encouraged to change your mind anytime you want.

     7. Respect your relationship agreements and communicate with your partner.

     8. Get your Cuddle Lifeguard On Duty or Cuddle Caddy if you have a question or concern or need assistance with anything during the Cuddle Party.

     9. Tears and laughter are both welcome.

    10. Respect people's privacy when sharing about Cuddle Parties and do not gossip.

    11. Arrive on time.

    12. Be hygienically savvy.

  
  

  Yes, do be hygienically savvy.

  Okay, so, if your needs aren't being met in someway, you rectify it. Interesting concept, right? But does it work in practice? I mean, we all need touch. Newborns need it to thrive, to feel loved, and to stay healthy. And we continue to need it all throughout our lives for these reasons. But does touch have the same effect when the person doing the touching doesn’t have intimate (sexual or otherwise) feelings toward us? While I acknowledge the importance of touch, and would encourage anyone not getting enough of it to seek it out (perhaps at a cuddle party), I still feel somewhat sad that some people aren’t getting enough physical human contact in their everyday lives. And I can’t help but wonder if we've compartmentalized our lives so much, that we now even have to schedule time to cuddle.

  What do you think of the cuddle party concept? Would you go to one?

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