What do you think about an older woman dating a younger guy?
I know it's not as big of a deal as it use to be but it's still not as common as an older guy dating a younger girl. My friend who is currently dating a younger guy who's at least 8 years younger than her, told me about the pros and cons of dating one. She does feel self conscious especially when she spends time with him and his friends. They're in their 20's who likes to drink, smoke up and parties till dawn. He teases her about her age sometimes. She has a hard time keeping up with his schedule after all her body and energy level is not what it use to be. She doesn't mind so much he's always broke because he just started working and she picks up the bill most of the time. She does mind that he lives at home and they don't have much privacy. She lives with a sibling and he thinks it's too weird to go to her place so they end up spending a lot of alone time in movie theaters, going to city parks and driving around.
But the good thing is his stamina. My friend's dated older guys before or even guys her age and according to her, they just don't recharge as quickly or not as sexually active. Even though she's not as flexible as she use to be and had a serious case of neck cramps and leg cramps after the last bout of car sex, she still looks pretty darn happy.
She told me recently she's had the nagging feeling of will it last? Does he think it's a fling? Is there too much of an age gap for a real relationship to develop? What do you think?
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Comments (21)
Personally, I think it's a fling. I'm guessing he's still early 20's, and at that age, us guys are still poking around the bush to figure out what we like. Personally, I prefer girls who are younger than me, but I admit I do admire maturity.
Statistically speaking relationships with smaller age gaps, tend to last longer. They are usually equal in terms of social status, income and maturity. Financially speaking, your friend will probably have a higher paying job, so she'll be the bread-winner. Depending on the guy, that's a hard blow to the ego.
Still, if your friend enjoys the energetic night life, she'd better realize that eventually he's going to run out of steam. I can't say how long that steam will last, but is that really the only thing keeping them together?
My last thought is this: I've always believed that women have incredible insight/intuition for a relationship. So if she just ignores her fears and insecurities, what does she honestly think?
well, sex is good so she's probably hooked. i find that there's always a problem when the girl starts to pick up bills. guys are supposed to do that, and if he doesn't have enough, he should at least be able to pay for himself. she's basically his sugar mama, and if she doesn't realize it, she will get fed up sooner or later once she realizes he's just with her because she provides everything for him.
I dated an older guy (he was almost eight years older than me) pretty briefly because I found out all he wanted was sex. I don't know about your friend though.
I kinda think it's a fling. Some, if not most, like to keep their options open.
its probably a fling for him, I'm not even sure if that guy knows what HE wants..
and then for her, bills? BAD!
if most of the goodness from the relationship is sex.. um.. thats not very good either.
oh and i forgot to say,
a real man wouldn't want their girl to pay for their bills!
maybe not all but at least most of the ones I know, wouldn't like it too much.
i don't think guys are supposed to pick up the bill. why should they? i think the person more financially able to should do so more often, which is what i see with your friend. i see nothing wrong with older woman/younger man relationships as long as they're both on the same page regarding where it may or may not lead.
I don't see anything wrong with it. But the odds are, its a fling. Dating an older woman is a new experience for most guys. The woman is more mature and understanding, doesn't cause a lot of drama, is more "experienced", has more money and picks up the bills and buys them stuff, and he probably gets the occasional high five and "that's sweet!" from his buddies.
And I think its often the same for the woman, its just a totally different experience like you mentioned above.
But often, it just doesn't work out in the end. Most women eventually want a man they can depend on and no matter how independent, most woman likes a guy that can take charge and take care of them. Also most guys don't really want to marry early, and especially don't really want kids till they are like 30....which is always a problem cuz the woman generally should have kids by 35....so there's just the practical issue of it as well.
But in the end, its not like all relationships work out anyways and there's always a chance this works out. But if she does feel like its a fling....it might be in her best interest to get out....as she might be wasting her time. Like if she is say...32. If she spends a few years with this guy and it goes nowhere....she'll be 35 and it'll be even more difficult to find a spouse.
For some, it might be a fling. Just to see not only what it is like, but that women's sexual peak doesn't end where you think it does. But it's a hoot to get a little more practical about having a thing for a cougar. Like will you still love her if she's 60 and you are 40, and still horny.
It's all about the sexual peaks, initially. Supposedly, women's peaks are at 40ish, and males start right when they discover an erection. But if you can look past that and swing a relationship out of your attraction for Stacy's Mom, then more power to you.
hrm, does she think that it won't last because of the age gap or other differences? honeslty it shouldn't be that big of a deal since it seems like all the cons are worked out.
Im in an older woman younger man relationship. my girlfriend is 5 yrs older than me (well 6 until next month =P). I get alot of criticizem from my family saying its a bad idea and all because i havent gone around and met other missy's yet but im fine the way i am we've been together for about a year and a half now. We take turns paying for different things.We're pretty similar too we arent big drinkers, not to heavy on partying, we'd just rather spend time together doing things we prefer to do even if its nothing and just cuddling together.
@aile_striker@xanga - how old are you guys right now? and how long have you guys been going out? lol
dk, 8 years in your 20's is a BIG difference
if I was a guy, I wouldn't be that attracted to older women, because they lack the energy and just lays there like a dead fish Lol
I'm not going to judge them...but when I hear:
Somwhere in the 20's
drinks,smocks and partys til the sun comes up.
Paying the tabs and sexing...
Those to me dont sound good to already be giving a yonger guy...sounds like he's got himself a nice cow to milk..
I have a mix feeling on yonger girl/guy with older man/women..Becus my family was split apart from this.
BUT if it lasts and they get married I say more power to em.
...i'm 4 years and some change older than my boyfriend. (24 vs. 20.)
shrug. sometimes it works.
Well... in your friend's situation, it does sound more like a fling. The fact that he still lives with his parents (I assume that's what the OP meant by "living at home") and the woman lives with a sibling means they don't have a lot of private time together, unless they go to a parking lot or something. That's difficult in itself. But then there are other points in the entry that stand out to me.
"They're in their 20's who likes to drink, smoke up and parties till dawn." -- They're at different stages in their life and have different ideas of what fun is.
"He teases her about her age sometimes." -- While she may laugh it off now, it may get to her after a while.
"She has a hard time keeping up with his schedule after all her body and energy level is not what it use to be." -- 'Nuff said.
"She doesn't mind so much he's always broke because he just started working and she picks up the bill most of the time." -- I could see her growing to resent him after a while for this.
It sounds like their relationship is based a lot on sex. And if that's the case, it's not going to last.
@pasaway4eva@xanga - my girlfriend just turned 26 and ill be 21 in november so we're 5 yrs apart 6 years for a few months
Most younger men would consider it a fling or even if they were serious and cared about the older lady, they know deep down they're not going to marry them....keyword most....she has to ask her sixth sense.
My grandmother was 12 years older than my grandfather when they started dating. They lived a long and happy life together and were totally devoted to each other. And she was definitely not a sugar mama for him. I know a lot of people think if a girl dates an older guy he's like her sugar daddy and if a guy dates an older woman she must be his sugar mama. :p It wasn't that way with them.
So, I see absolutely nothing wrong with an older woman/younger guy relationship.
@serendipity3m@xanga - I'm agreeing with you on this one. Even if it lasts for a few years, he's going to want to trade her in for a younger model when he feels it's time for him to settle down, get married and have kids. If you think about it, he might settle down in his 30s and by then she's pushing 40 and unless you have money for invitro, it's going to be a problem.