I am currently in a long distance relationship. It's only been a month, but so far, I've noticed some things about it:
1)
It's absolutely necessary to have complete trust in your SO. Without it, it's impossible to survive. You can't know every single thing they're doing, and obviously you aren't there when they go out, so you have to be able to trust them to be faithful to you.
2)
You grow a bit closer. I think my SO and I have gotten closer because there's such a level of trust. Plus, because we're far away, we need to be creative about having "dates." We both have skype, so we can see and talk to each other. It's pretty lucky, since not everyone can do that.
3)
You really cherish the time you have together. And that makes it more special--Holding hands, a little kiss, all seems really amazing and special when its a rare thing.
4)
It CAN work if you really love each other, and work hard. It's worth it in the end.Have you been in a LDR?
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Comments (87)
no, I haven't. if you find the right one, ldr or not, every moment is special.
aw, those are great things to cherish. i have never been in a LDR and i am so thankful because i do not know if i can handle that because i do see my bf every friday to sunday; we talk every day plus text messaging and if that were to change; i do not know how i would be like. i think i am off topic, whoops.
but anything is possible. love and trust is all we need. ♥
I'm in one now & it is nothing like how it is with your LDR. I still feel as if I'm single, but I guess because I got to establish the whole "boyfriend-girlfriend" thing because he asked me out the day he was leaving (whoop-dee-doo)
Then while we were "talking", he did some things with his ex that caused me to not trust him even though we were together. No matter how much he says he's faithful, I cant help but think the "Class of 08's Biggest Flirt" is gonna make a come back. =[On top of that, we have many different beliefs,and thoughts that conflict A LOT.Its hard for me & I'm not sure if its even worth it anymore =/
I have. Unfortunately, it didn't work out. :\ I'm still trying to figure out why.
I'm in the same situation as you....been doing the LDR thing for a little over a month now. I went home last weekend and got to see my boyfriend, and it felt almost like a fresh start. It was so wonderful to be able to spend time with him, and when I'm away, we spend hours talking on the phone, and that reminds me of before we got together, when we used to talk a lot and get to know each other. It's really hard sometimes not to be with him, but I know we'll be ok.
I'm really glad you posted this. So many people bash LDRs and it makes me discouraged at times. I'm glad someone else feels the same as I do! Things CAN work!
FINALLY SOMEONE POSITIVE ABOUT LDRs.
i've noticed those things as well. it's all about trust. you can't date someone that you can't trust. because you'll always worry about what they are doing, who they are with and etc.
i was in for almost three years, we recently broke up but we might get back together.the internet has helped a lot with our LRD.
xo
I've never been in one. I don't think I'd ever allow myself to be in one because I'm not that optimistic. And I think that optimism (as well as trust) is a big part of a LDR.
I completely agree. I just want to add that there needs to be expectations that you will be in the same city eventually - make a time line and give yourselves deadlines. That way, you guys can work towards that goal and to know that that is coming.
I personally think long distance relationships have a bad rep. They are no different from a regular relationship except you can't see each other whenever you want to. Article has some points about long distance relationships. http://bit.ly/1359Hn
One thing i love: you always miss them because you never see them. That way you never get sick of them.
yes, three months last year.
we went to school 200 miles away from each other.
you're right,
it's difficult, but SO worth it.
we're still together.
it's been nearly eight months.
yes I am in one right now. I love him so much that I wouldn't give up just because we are miles apart. I have to fly for 13 hours if i want to visit him.
Great post. I have been in a LDR for 11 months, and I love him even though we're not always right next to each other. It's worked out great for both of us, and we can't wait for our one year. :)
I think not being able to physically see my SO would just be too much. LDR just aren't for everyone I guess....
Number three is so very true
I have been in LDR with my bf (now my husband) for almost 2 years and we're pretty much seeing each other every 8 months. Since we are on two sides of the planet (he is in the states and I was in HK) and we had to try every effort (of course including spending a big $ on the flight ticket) to see each other.
Totally agreed with the point number 1. Trust is the very basic thing you'll need for LDR because you have no way to figure out what your other half is doing and who is s/he going out with. You basically have to trust whatever you have been told. But I rather trust whatever my husband told me. I mean, who wanna holding the phone everyday and questioning by your other half? If you dont trust your other half, not only LDR, even a regular relationship won't work out.
Apart from that, I think "Plan" is the other element you'll need for LDR. You cant just wait FOREVER and do not know when will you two actually seeing each other. So making plan will give you a little "hope" to hold on and seeing your other half. My husband and I are always making "future plan" to see each other, I guess this is another good way to comfort your lonely heart when s/he is not around.
LDR is just like another regular relationship to me. As long as you love each other enough, you will find the way to be with each other! Speaking too much here but just wanna share ;) Good luck to those in LDR!
I've been in one since graduation in May...T_T
We're both really affectionate people so it's rather difficult to not have physical contact.But he comes 600 miles just to see me every few months. In fact, I get to see him in 4 days. Gee! ^_^One thing I've noticed is that LDRs make fighting harder. Well, more like you can't kiss and make up...cuz you can't kiss in the first place. :-/ Bah the trials of LDR!
I'm in an LDR, and I would never trade my boyfriend for anyone else in the world.
I've never met a couple that has survived a long term long distance relationship.
Not saying that it's impossible, but relationships are hard enough without the distance.
After 8 months of us being together, my boyfriend had to move to another continent with no prospect of his return. It was horribly hard and torturing and made us doubt ourselves and wonder if it was worth it quite a few times... well, we came to the conclusion that it was actually worth it and we became really really close cause there's nothing else to do in a LDR than talk, so we talked talked talked and learned everything there is to know about someone else and more. He's been back for a while now and our relationship has never been better. It improved 1000000000% and I had no idea it needed improving. We're just amazingly close intellectually and emotionally now. It's like being in love with a best friend, really.
I read these points and it's just the same as when you're not in an LDR.
I don't see what the fuss is all about when people make LDR's such a big thing - compared to non-LDR's... it's all the SAME!
@oO_km_Oo@xanga - I think you should direct that last sentence towards all the people who bash on long distance relationships.
@asininity - well... like I said "it's all the SAME"... it doesn't matter who I direct this too =p
@oO_km_Oo@xanga - I know. I just thought those words were wise and would, in addition, be very well-suited for those who say "LDRs suck and are stupid."
I'm the poster child of why not to have long distance relationships. Don't ask me.