I usually hate talking about this, but a post that was featured on Xanga had me thinking about this which has bothered me for a long time since high school.
When a girl loses her virginity, girls think she's a whore and guys think she's sexually active now.
When a guy loses his virginity, guys think he's lucky while girls think he's a dirt bag.
What do they think of those who haven't lose their virginity?
I'm not sure what guys or girls think of girls who haven't lost their virginity, but I can tell you what they think when they know I haven't lost mine yet.
Girls: When they hear that I haven't lost mine, they think its great. Why? I always wondered why is it so great for a guy to not lose his virginity yet. I mean, what's the good in it? Do I have things better if I keep being a virgin? Some even think its cute. How the hell is it cute? What's so cute about a guy without a sex life? It's not cute, it's pathetic...especially if the guy gets older and still doesn't have a sex life. Yeah, it's cute until he gets older, then it's just pathetic.
Guys: When they...well, let me say IF they heard that I'm still a virgin, they'll laugh at me. It's not funny, there's nothing funny about it. I mean, being 20 and not having a sex life that's equal to my peers is degrading, it makes me less than a man when I'm around them. So, unfortunately, I have to lie to them about it, telling them stories and shit that makes me feel bad after I tell them. On the other hand, what's wrong with lying to the guys? I don't even have guy friends, and there's no way in hell the ones I lie to are gonna try to prove I lost it or not, so it's like there's no consequences if I lie to them. But I digress, why do I have to be disrespected for my virginity? Am I not a man to you guys if I haven't had sex yet?
Why do I have to feel like I'm a loser when I'm around my sexually active peers? Why do they think I'm still a kid if I haven't had sex yet? Do you actually think after having sex you're now a man or woman?
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Comments (136)
I didn't feel any different after losing my virginity and I don't believe virginity means anything.
It's going to happen sooner or later, so why does our society have such a stigma about when? I don't believe virginity matters, it's just some dumb overpublicised way to give guys something to brag about and try to guilt girls until waiting for marriage.
Most people I know didn't have a great first time.
I'm a guy, and a virgin. I'm also an engineering student, so it's perfectly normal.
I'm only 18 (and a virgin), and I cannot speak for those older than myself, but I hold guys my age/unmarried guys, who are virgins, in the utmost respect. It says to me that they care about more than sex. So many guys hit on me and what it boils down to is sex, something I'm not willing to give. Waiting til marriage isn't for everyone, but it is for me. I don't think you're childlike or pathetic for not having a sex life. You shouldn't think of yourself that way either.
You think you're a loser because you are a loser. Quit worrying about it
Aw (:
Just wait until your married. There problem solved.
Seriously though, my husband waited and I thought it was cool, since I did too, so even though your peers don't think so just tell them your waiting for the one if you believe in waiting until marriage.
Don't worry about it.....its not that big of a deal.
when i got to be round 21 still a virgin, even as a chick, started to feel like . wow. gettin up there.
im in a loving relationship now, i don't believe i lost it for the wrong reasons.... but i still allow people to think i'm a virgin or whatever because i don't want them to think i did. also, i dont want my other friends my age to be ashamed of their own virginity. honestly? when it happens, it happens - it should feel right for you.
it sucks cause i know. it sucks to care what other people think
Because any girl who wants to lose it can lose it the instant she decides to. It's not hard to find a man to do it with even the ugliest girls.
But most guys who are virgins are only virgins because no girls will sleep with them. What's respectable about that?
I respect guys who are saving it, but not guys who are desperate to lose it. Be proud and save it for someone special.
If guys haven't lost their virginity I hold them higher in my view because they didn't just give it away to the first or second girl that came along. They respect themeselves, as well as respecting the girls they were with by not being with them solely for sex. And there's also the religious part of it that appeals to me (saving themeselves for marriage).
I recently lost mines and i hated it.
I loved being one.
I didn't feel l bad when there were 20 other people talking about sex and when i said i was a virgin they shunned meh to the side. I felt like a part of meh did have to grow up.
Like i was still pure.
Not like now, i just fill like every other girl.
I think guy virgines are fucking great.
Being virgin is not bad, its not cute. It is what YOU want to make of it. I believe in waiting for the right person to come along.
Girls probably think it's cute because it sounds like you're saving yourself for someone and something that means a lot to you and/or aren't trolling for an easy bang, which is something a lot of girls normally aren't fond of. When you don't specify a reason for staying a virgin, whether sex is something you decide to abstain from or something that decidedly abstains from you, all people can really do is assume.
I'm 19 and a virgin, but as a girl, I guess that's... good? Two of my closer friends are no longer virgins, and sure it's kind of awkward when there isn't anything I can relate to when it comes to sex life, but virginity is more a state of mind than anything.
You evaluate your own self worth and portray that through your own confidence and character. The activity level of your sex life isn't anyone's business, so if anyone is making you feel like a loser, I'd say it's you.
It's just stereotypes. Look past them, and you're a better person than most.
I think it's really respectable that you haven't lost your virginity. Don't be so hasty to lose it. Save it for the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. I did, and I've never regretted it when I did lose it.
@TruthNeverTold@xanga - Exactly.
I respect you for telling us. Many guys tell stories about how they lost it at a young age just to get it overwith & have stories to tell. You should be proud you didnt waste it. Wait for the right time & person. They're feel even more special that you waited for them before deciding to take that big step.
There are better things than sex seriously. I love playing volleyball, working towards my future and I would give them up over sex, eating, sleeping, etc. Do something productive with your time instead of satisfying a certain organ. Think with the right head and stimulate that one. Sorry for the crude humor they just came to me. Sex is supposed to be a beautiful connection between 2 people at that moment why spoil that by rushing it?
Jesus Christ, are we back in high school? People don't give a shit.
lately im meeting alot more guys that are virgins from ages 18 to like 23 and it doesn't really make a difference to me. i think its respectful to themselves if they HAVE turned chicks down cuz they dont think theyre the right one they'd want to give their v-card to. but ME personally, i wouldn't especially WANT to screw a virgin, because they wouldn't know what the fuck they were doing, and i like to be taken control of, im quite the submissive. and as far as guys thinking other guys who dont have sex at a certain age during puberty is never going to go away. it all goes back to primitive times with the penis being a symbol of power and sex as an important part of daily life. so hate to break it to you, that's not gonna change, lol. soo yeah, thats my 2 cents.
@Sammyhellsyea@xanga - hahah, yeah i guess you would know how ALOT about screwing virgins, huh sam? xD
There are children that are forced into marriage in other countries.
There are children in under-developed countries that are raising and supporting their families as well.
So no. Being an adult is a stage or point in life consisting of mental, emotional and physical maturity along with increasing responsibilties. It could be different for some people.
@yewskinnymuhfukas@xanga - Hilarious. Make sure all of Xanga thinks I'm a whore too.
You seem to care way too much about what people think. Maybe it's best if you lose your virginity so you can feel better about yourself.
But seriously, if you're going to choose a certain lifestyle, don't go crying that people think certain things about you, just deal with it unless you want to stay too weak to.
I will let you know that no matter what other people say, if you stay true to yourself whether or not you want to be a virgin, you should be proud. Unless you really love the person, sex can complicate things. I'm not saying that it always will, but there is always a chance.
There is one friend who me and others razz on for being a virgin (only because he is trying not to be a virgin). I have another friend who I (or others for all I know) do not razz on because he chooses to be a virgin. It's really in what context you put it in. But no matter what, as long as you know what you want, don't worry about it.
This is something I'm starting to see people care less and less about while i'm going through my 20's. I'm 25 and I'm still a virgin. I'm a second year medical student so it's not uncommon for most of us guys in med school to be virgins and single. Since everybody is getting married these days especially at my age people don't really seem to care too much about whether or not you're a virgin. And I also have NO clue why in the world being a virgin is "cute."
don't feel like a loser because you haven't lost your virginity. honestly, it shouldn't be that big of a deal. i'm assuming you're a virgin because you want someone you trust to have your virginity, so to throw that away for your social life, and a VERY miniscule difference it makes, is quite stupid.