Saturday, 10 October 2009
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Men, Work and Relationships
Some people say that when a man is really in love or really likes someone that he will always make time for you. Basically, that when he cares for you, he won't make excuses and will make you a priority. You've heard it -- if he's not making time for you, he's just not into you.
BUT, others say that when a man is focused on work he can't focus on the relationship. When he's stressed at work, then it's hard for him to give to the relationship, or that work takes priority over the relationship. Men are defined by work, and women by their relationships. When a man is stressed at work, he becomes distant. Men can focus on one thing at a time -- and thus work takes priority over the relationship -- even if he does love and care for you.
So, which is it?
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Comments (17)
It's true, work can't take ALL your time. If he really cares, he'll find time. But in my experience, most women exaggerate how little time they spend together.
Of course if I had to choose between a woman and my career, it would take a lot to make me choose the woman.
I can say that for me, when I'm stress at work, I can't talk to my gf, because whatever she's saying I just can't concentrate to listen at all.
So, I'll say that it's true that when a man is focused on work he can't focus on the relationship.
Really depends on the guy, and the workday. Sometimes he'll want time alone after a bad day at work. Other times he may want to see his girl. Never know.
When my husband was deployed to a highly volatile area of Afghanistan, he would do everything in his power to find time for me --- some days it was nothing more than a quick e-mail "Hey, I miss you. I'm okay. I love you." A few times when he was out on missions, he'd get a chance to call back to base and he would have one of his friends back at base call me or e-mail me.
If he could find time during all of that to connect with me, no matter how small, then I would think most guys should be able to do the same. It's all about priorities. If you love someone, you will fit them into your schedule, even if it is just a very small portion of time.
Depending on the job, I would have to say that it's true. It's the same with school work, if I'm stressed and have a lot of work to do, time spent with the girlfriend takes a backseat. However, I do find time to contact her to just say hi or something to let her know that she's on my mind every once in a while.
It depends on where you are in your relationship. If you've just started dating someone and they're choosing work/school/whatever over you, then he's not into you. If you're farther on--married, or the equivalent--and he's trying to make something of his career, then he may have less and less time to spend with you. Should he completely choose work over you? Absolutely not. But once you've been together for a while, there will be times when work is chosen over you simply because it has to be that way.
He should always make a point to make time for you once his work obligations are done, though. It just may not be the kind of time he made before. Because, let's face it, life happens, time is a hot commodity, and there's never enough time (or money, come to think of it) to devote to everything.
-Katie
WORK CAN TAKE ALL YOUR TIME IF YOU'RE A SURGEON, A DETECTIVE, A FIRE FIGHTER.. THE KINDS OF JOBS THAT DEMAND YOU AT ALL HOURS OF THE DAY...
BUT IT COULD BE BOTH...
It is not true that men can only focus on one thing at a time; however, it is true that to be effective at what you are doing you should focus on one thing at a time. It is also true that one can tell what is important to someone else by how he/she invests his/her time and money. So to be fair, there are going to be times when your other half will be focused completely of other things such as work, but if that is always the case, you should consider where you really are on the priority list. Then decide what to do about it.
It depends on the guy, of course.
this is one question im trying to figure out. maybe i'll ask my SO.
it depends on the situation...
Very good question.
But I think it depends on the situation as well..
i dont think am defined by my relationships but by who i am.
work can define a man but not him to be defined by it.
Depends on what stage your relationship is in, if you're really in love, and whether or not the guy is a doucher.
Cant answer that..but my dad is like that..I mean my mom and dad are fine...just I dont like seeing mom fighting with dad about over working and never stopping to be with us as a family.
X.X Not that I'm saying is working is a bad thing..just he gets home at 8 and we are all getting ready to go to bed. D:
I'd say a lot of it depends on the guys' job. My boyfriend works 80+ hours a week, and travels over two states to deal with the ten stores that he manages, so no, we don't have a lot of time to spend together...and honestly? I understand. Because when I'm stressed sometimes I can't see past that either. Our feelings for each other haven't changed, if anything they've matured. I think both are possible, they're just not going to be visible at the same time...guys aren't all great at multitasking ;)
(my biggest pet peeve is the girls that complain about not seeing their boyfriends for more than 2 hrs a day >:-O)