I remember my friend and I sat around and talked about our little summer adventures on who we had met, talked to, went on dates with, kissed, and made out with.. We talked about why these people caught our attention, why they didn't develop sparks, and what we learned from the experience. We weren't looking for relationships, just summer fun, because we had just gotten out of serious relationships and we weren't ready for another one. It seems society has placed a ban on kissing too many different guys. Possibly, he would be labeled as a player and I would be labeled as easy. I made the comment, "We're so bad," to all the events that had occurred in the past few months, in which he responded, "Why?"
Why are we bad? Because society says we are? We're not hurting anybody, since the people we kiss knew we weren't looking for a relationship. We didn't lie. We didn't cheat. So what makes us bad?
That's when I realized the only reason why I thought what we were doing was bad is because society would have deemed us bad. We would have been jumping from guy to guy, or girl to girl, but why is that bad? I know it SOUNDS bad, but really THINK about it... why is meeting different people, having a good time together, bad?
I haven't found an answer to this, but possibly it's because I'm in the situation, that's why I don't know the answer. Maybe you can shed some light into my tunnel. Is kissing so many guys bad to you? Where do you draw the line and how does society affect that limit?
Comments (39)
Pffffft, nah. Do what you want, ya know? I guess some people might value it to an extreme extent, and there's those people who can't resist gossiping, but other than those details you should be able to kiss whoever, whenever.
Personally, I just got out of a serious relationship and I wouldn't mind kissing a boy or two. :) I know what you mean when you don't want to get involved - you just want to have fun!
It's only bad if you have a cold sore.
Hell it sounds fun to me
Morality is all relative. Do whatever the hell you want, treat others how you want to be treated, and don't hurt anybody. Those are pretty much the only life lessons that need to be followed.
Kissing guys is not a bad thing, unless you're purposely fucking with thier emotions.
If it's a fun hookup for both of you, why is it bad?
You've been a bad girl. Now go to my room!
Some people see it as wrong because while YOU see it as harmless fun, just a little kissing, morals tell us that "hooking up" is bad, that you shouldn't kiss (or anything else) with just anyone, that you should get to know them first, THEN kiss them. It's seen as slutty behavior. It doesn't set a good example for the younger generation.
Whether or not it's bad, I have no ideal, I have been with one person too long, and I try not to be too judgmental of what others do.
I believe your actions are bad.
Do I think that youre a bad person? No. You seem perfectly fine.
But I still think kissing is a special sign of affection and should only be reserved for boyfriends and girlfriends. That's my opinion though, and if you think your actions don't constitute "bad" then thats cool.
In the end it only matters what you think.
@Shy___Away@xanga - morality is not relative, values are.
In my perspective, I agree that having some summer fun shouldn't be considered "bad".
On the other hand, a girl/guy who has had sex and completely lost their dignity along with their virtue and any other part of common sense, is infact considered blasphemy to me. I, however, am biased toward the idea of love instead of one-night stands, and I am strict about sex. I've only had sex with one guy in my entire life and he's the only guy I ever will. Why? Because we're engaged & soon to be married in December (bahahahaaa!)
slong as nobody gets hurt, its really not a big deal. its not my scene, but its not a big deal
@lightscripture@xanga - Values are personal, thus, incapacitating them from being relative. Morality is based entirely on society's view of a person's actions. This makes them relative.
if it bothers your conscience, don't do it.
I believe that as long as you're smart about it, as in you use protection and are careful not to get an std, that it's okay to kiss and hook up with as many people as you want.
As long as both parties know its all for fun and enjoyment then I see no wrongs. However, I would draw the line if it escalated to anything further than a make-out session... :X
Well i dont want to kiss randoms. Sounds fun and all but nooooo thank you.
@Shy___Away@xanga - You do realize that when you say morality is all relative that essentially all human action is morally permissible, right? In other words, that means things like killing, murder, rape, plunder, stealing, and whole scale mass genocide are perfectly morally acceptable from another person's perspective.
That statement you made is essentially saying that a human action is morally acceptable depending on who holds that opinion or belief and just because no one else holds that opinion doesn't make it wrong or immoral. You could say that kissing various different guys is alright because you think it is morally acceptable and you would be morally justified. In the same line, I could say mass genocide is morally acceptable and I would be correct and morally justified just because I think it is alright to do.
Is that really what you want to say?
@prettyboy78@xanga - Ah, but by your act of confirming that you
have the knowledge of what is considered bad affirms that you DO know
whether something is bad. You just don't want to spoil other people's
"fun." Moral relativism is an indefensible position. You can't say that
you know that some things are considered bad according to some people
or society but then bat a eye when you see it happen. Would you also
bat a eye when you see someone getting robbed or raped? You need to
take a stand. You can't be wishy-washy when it comes to morality. If you're going to be wishy-washy, you're either genuinely naive and ignorant of what is considered right and wrong or you're consciously choosing to be naive and ignorant. If you are the former, I'd be ok with you saying what you just said. However, if you're the latter, you are no more moral than a Nazi soldier killing a Jew.
As long as you're not hurting anyone else, not hurting yourself, and not doing it out of some large insecurity, I say go for it. No problems.
@Shy___Away@xanga - Since, morals are relative, the child rape that takes place in South East Asia is ok, because their morals allow it.
but not for you and I because our morals are not congruent with that belief.
According to your definition rape is ok depending on the society in which you live.
I dont quite agree with that logic.
@lightscripture@xanga - @TomTea - Absolutely that's what I wanted to say.
Morality is all relative, and within that, morality is relative to the
societal standards it's contained within. While showing legs in the
U.S. is not an immoral act, showing *any* skin in a place like Dubai is
considered very immoral.
As far as socially destructive things like genocide, rape and murder
go, most societies have determined that they want to build their people
up, not kill them off. So, in order to maintain this, they expunge the
people that feel it is ok to rape, pillage and plunder. Most people
learn to fit their morality into a social structure. I think that
others need to go create their own city, where everyone else there is
ok with their kids being raped. This does not mean that their actions
are immoral, or even bad, it simply means that their actions are not
accepted by the society and the times that they are in.
As for you, lightscripture, you don't need to agree with my logic. People haven't agreed on morals for centuries. That's why there have been religious crusades, witch trials, and masses of forced conversions throughout history. You're not the first to disagree with a relative approach to right and wrong.
@lightscripture@xanga - Morality is relative to its time and people. Child rape is moral to the peoples of South East Asia in the same manner that slavery was considered moral in America before the 19th century.
@TomTea - Would you also
bat a eye when you see someone getting robbed or raped? You need to
take
a stand. You can't be wishy-washy when it comes to morality. If you're
going to be wishy-washy, you're either genuinely naive and ignorant of
what is considered right and wrong or you're consciously choosing to be
naive and ignorant. If you are the former, I'd be ok with you saying
what you just said. However, if you're the latter, you are no more
moral than a Nazi soldier killing a Jew.
No actually, I would and have called the cops when I see/hear something happening! You CAN have morals on different levels depending on what it is about. And what I think about her actions and whether I AM GOING TO JUDGE HER, is were I draw the line.
I personally think "sluts" either male or female are awful people, I don't believe in one-night stands, and I think one should get to know someone BEFORE "kissing" them as the OP put it cause I doubt many only kissed or made out. But since I have been with the same guy for nearly 8 years, I don't care that much what sluts do as long as I don't personally know them and they aren't trying to interfere in my life (or the lives of my friends and family). So YEAH I can honestly say that in the OP case, whether or not it is bad or not is not my business, besides a little innocent kissing is NO BIG DEAL, it's what comes after the kissing that makes you a slut and she only admits to kissing and making out. And depending on how you define making out, can make you a slut, but she left that vague so I will go with the innocent route here.
NO ONE has to be so moral in their life as to have a stick up their ass, and have no fun. What I find morally right and morally wrong strongly differs from many of my friends. Just because you believe one way on one topic doesn't mean that you will believe like everyone that agrees with you on that topic on everything.
But then again since you did call me and compare me to a NAZI! So I really don't care what you think of me.
@manilajones@xanga -
Does that mean that killing is bad today but it could turn ok in the future?
I mean, just to make sure Im not talking out of my ass,
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/morality
conformity... well, I guess I am a non conformist.
@lightscripture@xanga - Killing isn't even considered wholly bad. Murder and homicide are considered "immoral" today, but killing during a war in the name of your country is considered necessary, moral, and heroic.
Morality is always relative to time and place.