Friday, 09 October 2009
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Boyfriend Says No to Nude Modeling
I have a list of things I want to do before I die: write a novel, be published, work as a creative writing professor, backpack through Europe, get paid for nude modeling...
Oh yeah, I want to be a nude model for an art class. I think it would be an extremely liberating experience. I used to be ashamed of my body, disliking almost everything. But now, I'm older, and hey, I feel more at peace with myself. I may not be super toned nor am I busty/curvy, but I am what I am. I like it, and I wouldn't mind getting paid so that others can draw me.
Problem? The boyfriend. I understand why he doesn't approve whatsoever of me modeling nude to other people, other guys in particular. I understand that he considers my naked body sacred and only for his to see and touch, etc etc. I mean, I get it. But I'm just slightly conflicted because I really, really want to be do it. It's just something I want to try before I die.
What do you think? Have you ever been in this type of situation (obviously not nude modeling specifically)?
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- From: missgiraffe
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Comments (99)
Jesus Fucking Christ tell your boyfriend if he doesn't like it he can go FUCK A DUCK!!! Your such pathetic little SLAVE!
I've modeled nude for both professional photographers and art students (not whole classrooms, but if their assignment "required" something like it, they'd come to me as the model), and while it makes my boyfriend uncomfortable, he also understands that it's art (he's an art student himself). Plus, usually he's allowed to come along if it's a male photographer, and any copies of pictures I get, he gets to keep :P
It's just a personal opinion. If your SO isn't comfortable with you doing something in front of other people, then you should respect his/her wishes if talking with them about it doesn't change their mind.
It's reasonable that your boyfriend is uncomfortable with you posing nude in front of others.
Like I know some people are okay with their SOs dancing/grinding with other people at parties, but my ex and I agreed that that was something we wouldn't do in our relationship.
@ChevalierSeingal - why, because she doesn't like making her boyfriend uncomfortable?
I'm an artist, sooo, my boyfriend is the one who wants to do the nude modeling with myself. I've never actually considered myself for display, I've always thought I'd be the one drawing. I cannot emphasis enough how important it is for people to model in the nude-however awkard and creepy that may sound, but I never actually thought about it for myself.
i would be uncomfortable with my boyfriend posing nude for an art class, no matter what.
pose nude for him and have him draw you. lol.
xo
I'm going to be in the minority here but if my husband doesn't want me doing something, I don't do it. No matter how badly I want to. Example: I would love to get my nose pierced, I've wanted to since I was probably 15 or 16 (I'm 25) and my husband says no. So I don't. Some other things, I'd like to keep my hair shorter, but he loves long hair so I keep it long.
I guess I believe that he's my husband and I should be putting his needs and wants before mine (that's what he does for me) and I get great enjoyment out of making him happy, even if it's not what I want.
Granted...this is your boyfriend, not your husband you are discussing so the level of commitment is vastly different, but I think the principle still applies. If he is extremely uncomfortable with it, don't do it. He will really appreciate you making a sacrifice for him. And you never know --- he might get use to the idea and not care eventually, or ya'll might break up somewhere down the line and then it wouldn't matter what he thought.
Relationships involve a good deal of compromise and sacrifice, I could never do something my significant other was uncomfortable with. Although, I would expect the same courtesy (sp?) from him.
Haha my boyfriend is the only one who gets to see me naked.
In fact, he refuses to share pictures of me naked with the friends that ask. It's understandable because he is probably really protective and would feel weird having other people look at you. I would respect his wishes, and then bring it up a couple of years from now if you still want to. After more time, maybe he'll be more willing to let you do it?
If you wouldn't have a problem with him modeling nude, then its okay for you to do it. I just think that things like this should go both ways. It could be anything. Like I'm not okay with my boyfriend flirting with other girls, but its not like I flirt with other guys. It would be unfair to say that you should be able to do something, but if he wanted to do it, it would be wrong. idk.. That usually helps me when I'm trying to decide if I should do something.
@chayswag@xanga - Her boyfriend is an insecure loser! I would NEVER tell my girlfriend to go against the true wishes of her heart, EVER!
That is not love that is jealously and jealousy comes from a desperate mentality of insufficiency, lack, scarcity, deficiency, and deprivation!
Badabing! I am feeling froggy today! whoohoo!
I say determine how important it is to you. Is it more important to you than he is? If so, loose him and fulfill your dreams. If he's more important (as I would hope, since you're dating him), then listen to him and out of respect for him, surrender that dream if he loves you. :)
I like to hear that he views your body as sacred and such. I rarely hear that these days and rarely see evidence of it. That made me smile. :) Thanks.
Oh yeah, and in terms of being in a similar situation, yes. I have been in a similar situation (with a different thing, though). It was hard, but I gave it up to honor him and love him better. :)
@ChevalierSeingal - Haha you can't say that he's insecure without more support for your comment =P
The way I see it, a relationship is a mutual thing and both parties should compromise from time to time (including sacrificing something here and there) for the greater good of the relationship.
Whether you sacrifice your nude modeling dreams or he sacrifices his wish of you not doing it is up to the both of you to decide together. Try and think about what will hurt the relationship less if at all.
I think it comes down to how much you value the relationship (not you, but also your boyfriend). I think you guys should continue talking about it. I doubt you're in a rush to get it done, so you have time. Possibly with time, he may allow you, or you may understand his reasoning for not wanting you to do it.
@Spyder_V@xanga -
I am in such a good mood right now! 
@ChevalierSeingal - That's good to hear =)
None of my boyfriends cared. It's not like you're having sex with the artists. It isn't really exciting or liberating though....you just get sore from sitting still so long. But $50 is $50.
I would say that as an artist (lesbian), I don't get off from studying nude models. It's just a subject matter used to improve your capture of realistic studies and for me, I want to learn how to sketch realistically much quicker. However, it is a really boring-ass job (sitting there for hours.. lame). I'd say maybe you could find a place where the artists are only girls? If he's just uncomfortable with guys seeing you naked, maybe just request a female-only audience. However, if he is also uncomfortable, I would say to respect his wishes anyway, or just talk it out a little more.
@ChevalierSeingal - i LOL'd.. but i only saw that as a joke :P
@ChevalierSeingal - There's a difference in being insecure, and viewing your significant other's body as something sacred and beautiful that should be kept between two people.
if my bf did something i told him not to do, I'd be PISSSSSSSED.
but...i'm a hypocrite. he didn't want me to do nude professional photos. i did them anyway. i'm waiting for them to come in, and then I'll give them to him. i don't think he will stay mad at me.
That's one of the things I want to do in life too!
@XxFireXboltxX@xanga - what? are you kidding? you don't cut your hair or get a piercing because your husband says so? girlfriend, i say do whatever you want. if you want short hair, go and do it. and if your husband gets angry with you for cutting your hair, then he has issues, no offence. he should love you regardless if you have long hair or short.
there's a difference between sacraficing things you do TOGETHER and sacfraficing things you do for YOURSELF. example: let's say your husband is allergic strawberries, but you absolutely LOVE strawberries. it would be inconsiderate if one night you decided to make a strawberry pie for dessert because then your husband would be left out and you would look like the selfish one having the pie all to yourself. do you get what i mean? BUT, cutting your hair is a personal choice. the hair is on your body and you should be able to do whatever you want to it.
@chayswag@xanga - Wrong! Your thinking is either coming from religious brainwashing directly, or societal backlashes of religious brainwashing.
If you have a Lamborghini you are proud of and are completely and absolutely confident and self assured that your Lamborghini is not going to get stolen or drive away from you would you view your Lamborghini as "something sacred and beautiful that should be kept between two people."
And don't even try to say you cannot compare the two without giving me an explicit and detailed reason why.
Put on your boxing gloves little girl cause momma's gonna knock you out today!
@evangeliaaa@xanga - i would certainly agree with this if she was completely under her husband's dictatorship, and while he was doing whatever he wanted she had to ask his permission for everything. but she said her husband was doing the same for her and respecting her wishes regarding his personal choices, so why is it a problem?
Your body is your own, what you choose to do with it should be YOUR choice. Tell your boyfriend to build a bridge and get over it.
@Leitey@xanga - You are going to unsuccessfully attempt to take his control and manipulation and turn it into a virtue? Nice try but try again!