My answer is absolutely not. Put I'll put my opinions aside for a moment.
I have a friend who is a self-described "grandpa chaser" (yuck, i know). Anyway, she's in her late 20s and routinely dates men in their early to mid-40s. I don't see anything wrong with the practice, but it's her mentality that bothers me.
Early in our friendship I asked her why she exclusively pursued significantly older men. She told me something along the lines of "I value their experience. They're just a lot more mature." She went on to tell me that she refuses to date people her age or even a couple of years older because they pull things that much older men don't.
Now, this conversation took place at least a year and a half ago. My memory of it isn't perfect, but I'm pretty sure I laughed in her face and told her that that's one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard in my life.
Between adultery, mid-life crises-es and fear-mongering politicians, I've seen people in their forties, fifties and older act more childish than college-age American youth. Conversely, I know and have seen people at or close to my age act much more responsibly and maturely than people twice their age. So at least in my experience, the idea that "the older you are the wiser you are" is completely ridiculous. After all, David Letterman just admitted that he slept with his staffers. He's 62 and has reportedly been in a committed relationship since the mid-1980s, so what're we talking about here?
That's enough from me. What about you guys? Do you agree with the sentiment that older equals wiser? If so, why do you feel this way? Do you disagree with it like I do? If so, why? Do you have any stories to share?
Sound off
Comments (34)
Ahah age has nothing to do with it. My brothers are all over 30 and they are not mature at all, unless they have to be. It's not a bad thing to be immature and silly as long as you deal with the serious stuff when it needs to be dealt with.
My dad is almost 56 and he is still immature sometimes. It's really quite funny.
I think everyone needs to be a little bit immature sometimes, but they need to be serious, trustworthy, and loving to be in a relationship with.
people can be mature or immature at all ages. I guess the benefit of an older guy is that he is very experienced...that's about it.
i date older men hoping that they would be more mature. so far it hasn't happened. =/
Nope, I've always been a lot more mature than people my age. I didn't have many real friends in High School, I found I associated with people substantially older than me. On the flip side I know people who are in their 40's, my former step father for instance, who are hopelessly immature.
No age has nothing to do with it, my grandad is 54 and is really immature, a lot of the time.
Age generally equals more experience. Being mature and wise is learning from those experiences. Some people never learn.
Acting young at heart (being childlike, silly and goofy) is a good thing and doesn't have anything to do with maturity or being responsible.
i wouldn't say age equals maturity, but I'm sure age does help people mature if they see enough in there years or learned enough in their years that make them act maturely.
I think on AVERAGE, people gain maturity with age, thanks to exposure to more life experiences that many younger people have not had yet. However, averages do not say anything about individuals, so to say that all young guys are immature or all older men are mature would be very inaccurate. For example, we can say that on average, men are taller than women; but this certainly doesn't mean that all men are taller than all women.
Age definitely doesn't equate with maturity. Wisdom is based all on how much you're willing to learn and to change. Some people are happy where they're at.
That's a sexy old man you've got pictured thar.
*turns away to gag for a bit*
Anyway, age has nothing to do with maturity. I should know, I'm 19 going on 9. LOL
- Kunoichi
Age doesn't equate to maturity in the same way that age doesn't equate to life experience.
It's fairly ignorant and immature to go about saying either one.
I don't care how old a person is...in fact, I tend to go for guys about 2 or 3 years younger than me anyway.
The older men that I've met act like they are 20-21-years-old...If I wanted to date someone that young, I will date someone who is simply that age, not a younger-man-mentality trapped in a much older guy's body.
Nobody ever grows up. Look at catty, middle-aged women who act like they're still in high school.
Maturity has nothing to do with wisdom. Maturity is definitely connected directly with age. Though many have forgotten their youth, we can look beyond mental maturity and simply observe that as age increases, so does progression of the body. As far as "maturity" in the sense that most of these posters speak; it is usually connected to age, but allows for many exceptions.
No, You have some people old enough to know better but dont & you have people barely legal who are smarter than their own parents. It's like age & wisdom. Older doesnt mean wiser. Wisdom comes with age. Maturity has age levels but not everyone hits them "on time".
It definitely is true that older guys are more mature for the most part, but I have known some immature "old" dudes. My boyfriend however is 20 and he is so much more mature than the 25--30 year olds in my classes. 80% of these guys in my classes go on and on about how drunk they get on the weekends. And they high five each other when they tell "cool" stories about passing out and throwing up (ladies, I know some of you who also do this).
My boyfriend is 20, and where he lives (in Denmark), he has already had his "party" phase. They're allowed to drink over there when they're 18, so he already got all of his partying done when he was 17--18. Sure, he goes out with his friends on their birthdays, but he doesn't get nearly as drunk as he used to. And almost all of his friends are like this, whereas most 20 year old guys will do anything to get into a party full of 21 year olds so they can drink with them.
So I guess it also has a lot to do with maturity? And I'm not condemning drinking or saying we should have a lower drinking age. I'm just saying that this is just one example where the environment can really have an affect on someone. I know younger guys here who are mature because of the way they were raised. But either way, everyone is a LITTLE immature, so as long as you have fun together and like each other, maybe you can make the guy act more mature.
I don't think age has anything to do with it. I know some forty somethings who act more like fifteen year olds. My sister is also into older men for the same reason as your friend though when she says experience it's generally in a different area then maturity if you know what I mean.
I've dated older people some are mature some aren't. What worries me are teenagers that want to date people much older than them because generally if they are indeed an adult dating a teenager they aren't very mature or they're just using them. Of course by adult I don't mean college boys though I think straight chicks should be just as weary of them I'm talking people who are well up in age pursuing girls who are barely seventeen. There have been two teachers who previously worked in my old high school arrested for just that only the people (Obviously.) weren't even seventeen they were freshmen.
@brokenheartedboi@xanga
I agree with your statements, mostly. I date older, too. I happen to have had a lot of experiences early, and there's no way most men my age are even close to me maturitywise, in MOST cases, this is very correct. Well said.
There maybe exceptions to the rule on either side of the age spectrum but in general to save time, I can see why she prefers older men that are more settled. But age and experience also equates baggage.
Maturity doesn't have an age.
I dated a guy who said he was 24 but confessed to being 35. I believed him because he acted like a kid.
Answer to your question, No. Experienced, yes.
No. And in relationships, it's the same. I dated a 23-year-old who was a total peabrain, an idiot, and a tunnel-visioned, immature moron who had no clue how to get through life. I'm now dating someone younger than me (I'm 19) who is a thousand times smarter, more mature, and responsible than my douche of an ex. Just goes to show.
deffff not. just when you're older, you should have more experience/time to mature.
I'm the exact opposite. I find that a lot of older guys take themselves far too seriously. I mean... come on! relaxx!
Age have little to do with maturity, some things, take life experience to be able to handle, but life experience and maturity DON'T have to be the same thing.
I go to TONS of concerts, and I have seen the teenagers be more mature than 40-50 year olds. At a recent concert three people in their early 20s acted more like they were 12 then 22, in their case there was alcohol involved but they didn't seem drunk, just immature.
And at some shows I go to because the crowd is largely underage or because the band is Straightedge there is no drinking allowed, so lots of times when I see adult acting very immature they are (or should be) sober.