I know it sounds like a fairy tale, and it seems like everyone ends up happily ever after, this couldn't be further from the truth. You see, Prince Charming is usually the type of man who only feels good about himself when rescuing a woman who needs his help. So to speak, his identity is all wrapped up in his job. When Prince is looking for a fair young maiden it's not so much that he's looking for a wonderful woman who he truly cares for, but rather someone who is in trouble and needs his help. I don't know about you ladies, but I want someone who is in love with me, Not my situation. Poor prince, he never did learn how to feel good about who he is, and trust some wonderful woman to love him just as he is, rather than for what he does. This is a man with very low self-esteem. He is completely dependent on her always needing his help, and rescuing her. See what I mean, by him not being a whole person? This type of man most certainly could not be part of a happy, healthy relationship.
Now, let's look at his damsel in distress. Oh, don't worry guys, we're not just gonna pick on you. Damsel is often times a very weak, helpless human being. She doesn't believe she can handle life on her own. Her only hope in life is to have a wonderful Prince Charming come along, and save her form the trials and tribulations of life. Like him, she is also dependent. She is dependent on Prince always rescuing her from her troubles. Again, another human being with low self-esteem, and no belief in oneself.
So you may be thinking, what's wrong with that?
If one fills the others' needs, they must be perfect for each other, right?, Wrong. The problem with this relationship is in order for it to be sustained both individuals must never grow, or change. Chances are, at least one of these people will. What happens then is the love story starts to change also. If Prince decides he's getting tired of always rescuing Damsel, which often times they do, then what is Damsel gonna do? The same in reverse. What would happen if Damsel starts going to counseling, and starts feeling better about herself, and decides she can get a great job, and handle her own problems? You got it; Prince would be out of a job. Remember, this whole relationship is based on Prince as well as Damsel strictly adhering to their roles. Chances are if either one changes, the other one will be left behind. A truly healthy, whole person has no desire to be with half of a person, or work hard trying to fill up the other's empty half.
Yes, Prince Charming and his Damsel in Distress sure sounds romantic, but when you look at the real story behind this dysfunctional duo, you can't help but know, they most certainly will not live happily ever after!
Agree or disagree? Thoughts on Prince Charming and the Damsel in Distress?
Guest blog submitted by HannahNow
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Comments (31)
Haha I like it. And I agree.
LOL...it's just a fairy tale for people to fantasize about when they're younger, but they will grow out of these fantasies.
I happen to agree on this.
I was saying this to myself the other day about how guys try to be prince charming and save a poor and helpless girl from any type of situation.
AMEN!
damsel in distress can also be called a cinderella complex
Agreeable because it is the media and people that molds men and women into the social norms thus there are many prince charming waiting to rescue those many damsels in distress.... so wicked and I like it how it all intertwines to the results of society in general. muahhaa...
i'm glad i read "the paper bag princess" when i was little. no damsel in distress here (most of the time, anyway haha)
i very much agreed
Yep i agree.
this is certainly one plausible iteration of a common relationship paradigm. to be frank, it's probably the most common iteration as well. the dreaded white knight syndrome. however, it is also possible that prince charming may be...well...prince charming. the desire to help should not be belittled as a sign of weakness...until proven otherwise :P
perhaps it was a confluence of factors that lead prince charming to cinderella's doorstep. maybe he was just at the right place at the right time with the right abilities to help cinderella out. i disagree with the notion that prince charming is necessarily a love-doomed character. the human condition is one of trial and tribulation. as a social animal, we can hardly be expected to go it alone. perhaps prince charming and cinderella are just the prototypical relationship roles that have, evolutionarily speaking, lead to reproductive success (and its continued folk popularity).
let's not forget that a person's situation is inextricably linked to WHO they are. perhaps prince charming is not in love with just your situation. you are your situation. perhaps that is what he is attracted to. and if he cannot adapt to the way the relationship evolves, perhaps he's not so charming of a prince after all.
I agree that a situation like this taken too far will unravel just like you say. But I do think that it is stylish right now in the psychology world to say everyone needs to be self-sufficient, self-reliant, and completely independent. But humans were created for relationships, look at any anti-social person and the symptoms they carry around and that ought to convince you of that fact. What is the most effective form of treating alcoholism? Self-talking drunks assuring themselves that they believe in themselves? No. AA seems to be the most effective recovery system. We DO need each other. For various reasons. There is a point when we need to know our own identities, we need to be strong in who we are, but there is nothing wrong with a significant other counting on the one that love's them best for support.
I agree with this. I fell into the rescuer syndrome when I was younger. I don't think I grew up with appropriate role models for having a good relationship. It took a lot of counseling for me to deal with.
I concur. One person must be able to love and care for themselves before they can for others. I mean if you're incomplete as a person, how exactly can you be enough for your partner if you can't even be whole for yourself?
I don't know about you ladies, but I want someone who is in love with me, Not my situation.
Truer words never spoken. I've dated a few of these. And it's boring. But on the other hand, you want to know that your normal man, with no prince charming complex, wants to be YOUR hero- not anybodies' hero.
It doesn't make you a "Damsel in distress" if you are a girl who needs help, just if you feed off it, I guess. We all want to know that our ONE will be their for us if life knocks us down.
that picture freaks me the hell out.
Agreed. If we never change... what's the point in living? Great thoughts!
I absolutely agree! I have a guy friend in this type of relationship. I am waiting for him to grow out of it tho. but yes he is the type of guy with a low self esteem. it makes alot of sense!
agree, definitely.
Agree!
well you covered everything. no room for disagreement!
i hate the damsel in distress archetype, and that picture disturbs me, lol.
I'm very up upset someone chose that picture for my article as it is obviously a child, not a woman. Showing a child like that is not right!
Hannah
Does ANYBODY know who Imight ask or email about possibly removing that picture. It's really disturbing because it is a child. Please let me know!
HannahNow
There is no such thing as a "happily ever after".
I agree. Also, Prince Charming could be rescuing women to over-compensate for his tiny penis.
- Kunoichi
Oh wow, this is so true! Personally, i've experienced something like
this--you're totally right that as soon as one of them changes, the
whole relationship falls apart.