Wednesday, 07 October 2009
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"Don't Worry, She's Bisexual"
It's one thing for two girl best friends to sit in each others laps or for two guy best friends to jokingly slap each other on the ass, but when the two friends are a male and female, both of those actions cross the line of acceptable behavior.
My boyfriend will "playfully" hump his female best friend, and she'll sit on his lap at parties or when we're hanging out with a group of friends. I've tried to explain my discomfort to my boyfriend, but he just tells me to not worry about it, that simply because "she's bisexual" nothing will happen. And I trust that nothing will happen; insecurity is not my issue at all. It's just that I am tired of dealing with the questioning looks I get from other friends and even strangers who know my boyfriend and are are together when they see her sitting on his lap, etc. and when I bring that up, he simply tells me to "not care what other people think."
Advice anyone? Have you ever had to deal with a situation like this?
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About the Author
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- From: astrellia
- Name: Rachael
- About Me: i'm a 20 year old girl trying to juggle college, work, friends and a boyfriend. :D
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Comments (130)
my ex thinks that it's hawt that i'm bisexual. he asked for a 3some & i said "HELL NO". he's never been insecure because he knew that i'm the faithful bi & unlike the cheating bisexuals..im not saying all bisexuals are cheater. but most are more promiscuous with the tendency to cheat.
it would greatly bother me though if my bisexual girlfriend were to sit or fool around with another guy. i'd bust his nuts & rip her tits off, for sure.
i dont understand how bisexuality could be an excuse.
she still likes boys.
so ask your boyfriend that if its ok for you to sit on her lab too coz her is a girl even thou she is a bisexual...LOL
i think they should stop doing that, at least not when u were there too. its just unacceptable ( personally)
I agree you shouldn't care what other people think. It doesn't seem like a huge deal to me.
I'm curious if he knows what bisexual means though. If she's bisexual, she's still attracted to men. So how could that be an excuse? Your boyfriend's pretty dumb, sorry.
okay first that girl in the picture looks like miley cyrus and second if this girl is really a bisexual that means that she still like guys so i would figured that there would be something to worry about
Obviously you shouldn't care what people think, but I would have a problem with that!
But really, why aren't YOU sitting on his lap instead?
Furthermore, why dont you go to this girl, tell her you have no problem with her or anything it just makes you feel uncomfortable when she sits on your boyfriends lap.
Unless she's a total bitch, she will understand.
Personally I wouldnt be comfortable with that, even if you know nothing is gonna happen - its still very awkward and weird, and rarely, but sometimes the behavior isnt as innocent as percieved and although one would never act on it, they might be enjoying a faux play a little too much.
@asdfghjkieu@xanga - lol "bust his nuts & rip her tits off, for sure" Im glad Im not on your bad side =)
@mustardcat@xanga - good advice.
@Liquid_Pain_523@xanga - lol I was curious about the Bisexual thing being an excuse too...
Your boyfriend clearly doesn't understand what bisexual means and you need to tell him if he doesn't. You should tell her to get herself off of your boyfriend and have some respect for you and her "best friend". I think its unacceptable to do that. I would be embarrassed and annoyed. Tell them both off, I would.
BREAK UP WITH THIS ASSHOLE!
He doesn't respect your emotions, feelings, or anything that matters to you, so why the hell are you still with him????
Woah. Ok first off, does your man know what the hell "bisexual" means? I've seen this question a lot just on this page and I have to agree. I'm bi, and I'm pretty sure that if I sat even on my best (straight) friend's lap, boy boyfriend would still get pretty pissed off. I'd go over this with him, just to make sure.
Then I would ask him why that matters. Even if it's "Because she likes girls more" I'd say "But she still likes boys!". I would simply ask her to back up off your man. And if she's a cunt about it... well then I'd bitch to him about THAT insdead. Because to me... that's sayin' somethin's up, even if it's just on her part.
I had this problem with a former friend of my boy's... she did it 'cause she liked him. He let her because he didn't want to be mean since she was our friend (and because he was oblivious to the fact that she liked him).
Bisexual girls are still attracted to guys. And guys are definitely still attracted to girls if they know they are bisexual, for the most part. I don't think that's okay, nor something to "get over." And I think you feel the same way, so you should express so more assertively.
He should be able to understand and change for you if he loves you. Friends are friends, you are his significant other. You shouldn't have to put up with that. His "Well, she's bisexual, it's not going to matter" comment is bullshit---bisexual girls go both ways, smart boy.
Go to her first and ask her to please respect your relationship, and then talk to your guy. If he doesn't understand then he's not worth being with--tell him to go be with her instead if he's going to continue that. And I've found it's better not to be bitchy about things, no matter how much they annoy you. Ask nicely but firmly and you will recieve...and if not, it's not worth your time to argue about it.
Honestly, if your bf can't respect your concerns/feelings then maybe you should reconsider your relationship. It's one thing to be friends but when she starts crossing that line by sitting on his lap or him "playfully" humping her, then you got a problem. He's pretty much exhibiting behaviors a boyfriend would do to his gf.
@morbidcoronerchick@xanga - agreed!
Also, I honestly think that for some people, their so-called "bisexuality" is an excuse to get more attention, in any way possible. This may be the case with her, and if so, you tell her to back off your bf.
i would get really pissed. and break up with him if he didnt stop. like, WHAT THE FUCK, thats my boyfriend, idc how close you are mudafukas. lol
I'm so glad I'm not bisexual; being straight is confusing enough, and sometimes I can't help getting small crushes on other boys while I'm in a relationship!
Anyways, no way in hell would I put up with a boyfriend who refused to stop humping a female friend and having her sit in his lap. It's not cheating, but if he's not willing to stop doing something inappropriate because it makes me uncomfortable and upset, then he's not worth my time.
wait, what does her being bisexual have anything to do with that?
@morbidcoronerchick@xanga - I agree.
He should be more considerate of your feelings. No matter what some people say, it DOES matter what other people think - EVERYONE cares what other people think, to whatever degree, even if they say they don't. He would care if his male friends saw you flirting with some guy while he was right there. Ask him to put himself in your place and show a little consideration and restraint when he's around his friend.
ummm dump him and get a man who will respect you enough not to treat you like that! period end of story.
He's a doucher.
That is all.
If they've always acted like that, I wouldn't worry about. If nothing has ever happened in the past, chances are it never will. I used to sit on my best friends lap allll the time. Mostly cause he was big and comfortable. Hahaha. But I never liked him, nor him me.
Oh and I love how everyone assumes he's disrespecting you when you already said you didn't care, you're just tired of OTHER people caring. I swear, sometimes people only read what they want to.
i agree with everyone else up there. He probably doesn't know what "bisexual" means, or else he's using it as an excuse.
I personally think you could do better than him if he seriously think whether saying she's bi or she's his best friend or what not justifies the fact he can ignore your discomfort and feelings about the situation, doesn't really sound like he's respecting or taking your feelings in consideration at all.
funny how i read from floryo@xanga about trying to sit on her lap, well you should try asking him "so you don't mind if I sit on a guy's lap bc he claim's he bisexual right?", or even gay. he may even respond and say he wouldn't care but i bet if you actually did it and if he cares enough about you it would get to him.