Wednesday, 07 October 2009
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Dictionary for Online Dating Ads
WOMEN'S ADS:40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - Bitch
Average - Fat
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker
MEN'S ADS:
40-ish - 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic - Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking - Unusual hair growth on ears, nose & back
Educated - Will patronize the hell out of you
Free Spirit - Will take your sister
Friendship first - As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun - Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking - Arrogant
Very good looking - Dumb as a board
Honest - Pathological Liar
Huggable - Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle - Insecure mama's boy
Mature - Older than your father
Open-minded - Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit - Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Sensitive - Cries at chick flicks
Spiritual - Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable - Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
What are some other code words you've seen and figured out in personal ads?
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- From: beebeak
- Name: beebeak
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Comments (29)
lol those are funny but...my s/n starts off with openminded lol, I'm not desperate. If I could I would change it, but not because of this lol
haha that pic is funny
Haha!
lolz
hahaha
self proclaimed nicest guy on (dating site's name)-manipulative womanizer
sweetest girl you'll ever meet-cute manipulative man eater
knows how to cook-a complete meal of microwave dinners
handy man-jacks off all day as his hobby
jack of all trades-switches hands when the other one gets tired
rofl
"educated - will patronize the hell out of you"
AHAHHAHA. yes. especially if the women you hook up with is clearly from the luke-warm section of the gene pool. Can't help it.
I dont know of anyone who has filled out a personal ad like this. Most sites I know of that do this are for mainly hook-ups and not necessarily "dating". I hope to god no one takes any of this to heart. I can see some pissy little jerk commenting on how this list offended them.
lol. wow.
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - i agree with your list too!
@erahslover@xanga - There are specific sites JUST for hooking up, not all dating sites are for hooking up, they are for people who want to meet people, at least thats what I have found.
@blufrogz37@xanga - Good ones! How about: Workaholic: has no life so he works instead
Haha major kudos to this post. Pretty much said what everyone was probably thinking. :D
hilarious!
hahaha. funny, but harsh.
LOL! That's great. @SandersIsWondering - cuuuute puppy picture!
HAHAHAHAH
i don;t have any experience with personal adds, and as funny as this post was, i will not be putting an add up, or looking into one anytime soon xD
Hahaha, this was an awesome post.
That's awesome.
haha yeah some of these are very funny and very true at the same time
LOL.
eep.... scary!
This made me laugh, not giggle but burst out. I just love what it said about outgoing people. Outgoing: Loud and Embarrassing. I always found that to be true. Also attention whores.
LMFAO THAT'S FUNNY... FREE SPIRIT... I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT ONE! I DON'T HAVE A SISTER BUT HE MIGHT GO AFTER MY COUSIN HA!
hahaha.
xo
lol!