Tuesday, 06 October 2009

  • Two Introverts In Love?


    The one thing I kept noticing about introverts that is VERY interesting is that no one but another knows they are and will understand that they are not people persons, and the ironic part of it is that two introverts could actually make wonderful romantic partners together.

    A Xanga and AIM buddy of mine told me that she just broke it off with her boyfriend. But meanwhile, she said she found someone else. The kicker is not only did she know him for years, but she knows he is an introvert. "We can stay in, and do nothing all day, and still be happy", she said. One of the ways those two are vibin' well with each other is she described that no matter what, they always come back to each other as friends. As well as a stolen moment. By this, I can tell they might be better for each other than ever.

    She was even complemented as to be "the cutest girl in the room". By this, I start wondering are introverts much better in relationships with each other than with anybody else? After all, one good trait of an introvert is that they are honest in their judge of people and sometimes, are even right. They don't deal with stupid mess of the common. Yet, if they love, they love hard, only when they know it's for real.

    Another example I can give is me. Anyone who knew my geek post knows I am not really a people person myself. Anything I want to do,  I do all of it myself, and never really feel lonely. Not to mention, I was kind of your average different person. It wasn't like anyone cared to make up with me, if I asked.

    But I am currently in a relationship with another introvert I know. Suddenly, its like the both of us are best friends. We compromise with each other, and we understand each other. Not to mention, that in some ways, we are both alike in personality.

    Both of these, and I can't help but think this feels both contradicting and charming at once. Two people who are not really people persons perfect for dating each other. Hmm.

    What are your thoughts on this? Are there any introverted dates out there?

Comments (39)

  • just_the_average_jane@xanga

    I think the only thing to watch out for when it comes to introverts dating each other is to be careful not to cut yourselves off from everybody else --precisely because you're both happy to stay at home all the time.  For example, I am most definitely very introverted; but I do value my friends/boyfriend for forcing me out of my comfort zone every now and then and getting me to meet people/make friends/socialize.   

  • Lil_Firefly_25@xanga

    My boyfriend and I are both introverted, and our relationship is amazing. We're in a long distance relationship so we talk on the computer a lot, but when we were around together, it was like we didn't HAVE to talk to fill the space. We could hold hands and just enjoy our time together. (:

  • HippocreneQueen@xanga

    I agree.

    Btw, do you know the movie "Amelie"? I think you might enjoy it. It's a whimsical romance about two introverts. :)
  • Kateycatastrophe@xanga

    Im an extrovert who is married to an introvert. We work out extremely well, oddly enough.

  • veebrante@xanga

    Introverted people aren't necessarily always such loners or antisocials who distant themselves from other people and stay home all day. They like to keep things to themselves and they primarily just think about who they are and everything else. They do prefer to be most of the time. The reason they might be good at relationships is because they have a good insight of theirselves and they enjoy to just think but a problem they could cause is not being open enough to their partner as they do like to keep to themselves.


  • fiery_redhead

    I wouldn't say that an introvert isn't a people person.  I'm very introverted but I love being around people and going out.  However, I also don't mind being by myself either.  I've mostly dated other introverts with the exception of one.  And that ended terribly.  He was very extroverted and constantly needed to be around people & couldn't understand why I wasn't the same way.  We just didn't really "get" each others personalities and ended up breaking up mostly because of that. 

  • shadesofillusion@xanga

    It might sounds weird but I am an extroverted-introverted person. I start off as being very extroverted and then I start to be more introverted as someone knows me. My wife is ultra-introverted and I don't think I would be able to understand her that well if I wasn't introverted to an extent.

  • d639@xanga

    I think I was forced to be an introert because of my mistrust from guys and other people. My bf has that same rough relationship background so we're sorta healing eachother by being there for eachother.

  • checkered_flowers@xanga

    Maybe you're right.I'm an extrovert and I was in a long term relationship with an introvert.I just didn't get him.He never wanted to go anywhere,do anything and wasn't very affectionate.I honestly can't see how anyone could be in a relationship with someone like him.

  • InexplicablyChip@xanga

    I think you would enjoy reading this article about Introverts:

    http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch =]
  • eatdrinkandbemaryy@xanga

    introverts+extroverts seem like a hard combination. it only makes sense for introverts to be together. 

  • snapeful@xanga

    I think that people with somewhat similar personality types should be able to get along with each other. Also, introversion is, I believe, simply the preference of being with either by oneself or with just fewer people, not the ability to socialise. One can be an introvert and extremely outgoing. They just might not prefer to be around people.

  • anonymous

    i dont think two introverts in love is contradicting at all. In fact, because of common grounds and interests, it unites them together even more. I'm pretty introverted myself and had reasons for not trusting people around my neighborhood because of it, Later on, I met my then-future introverted girlfriend who is from a creative&performing arts school; our personalities clicked and ever since then, almost 2 years strong :)

  • HollowTendencies@xanga

    it's so weird, my boyfriend and i switch out. sometimes i'm the introverted one and then sometimes he is.. and vise versa. lol we work it out.

  • feelslikejuly@xanga

    Your post is amazing. Your post pretty much describes my boyfriend and I. I think it helps as well because we're in a super long-distance relationship (3,000 miles apart). I can also do things by myself and not feel lonely, like other people would---i think many can call this hermiting?

  • HeLLo_Bianca@xanga

    I'm an introvert.  It can seriously suck sometimes.  I love staying in but it's hard to find a guy who wants the same.

  • HeLLo_Bianca@xanga

    @checkered_flowers@xanga - I'm an introvert and I dated an extrovert.  Let's just say it didn't last very long lol

  • KitterzBri0814@xanga

    I love it. My boyfriend and I are both introverted people are have an amazing relationship.

  • raised_bywolves@xanga

    I never thought about this. I must conduct a sociology study!

  • seabass8321@xanga

    wow i thought everybody would'nt spot me on their radar but they did
    i have been introverted since i was knee high...i dont mind being around other people just as long as they dont crowd into my space.
    when it comes to girls i really dont know wtf to say to them to like catch their eye or make them interested in me so i dont even try to talk to them
    i try to hand out food in drive thru a lot and some girl sitting shotgun noticed the look on my face and she tried saying hi to me and i just looked at her,no smile no nothing
    i used to go to church a lot and i stopped going because i did not feel any change going on in my life
    i dont mind going out like to the mall or going bowling cuz i know im going with friends and not complete strangers or else i would just stay quiet all the time
    i would have to say its hard for me to open up to anybody i dont know offhand
    yea ill be single come the 23rd of october for 3 years. my friend martin keeps telling me well y dont u talk to random girls and im like cuz i dont know anybody in vidor thats around my age and if i do they are either married,engaged or have 3 kids or knocked up
    i even told my baby cousin that i was not gonna settle down until i raised hell for the next 4 yrs lmao

    WISH ME LUCK XD

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  • Cuisine

    I'm an extreme extrovert, and I find that the introverts zone right in one me because I am social can draw them out. No awkward silences.

    BTW, have you read "Introvert Advantage" by Marti Olsen Laney Psy.D.?

  • xSayakax@xanga

    LOL...yeah....my bf and I are both pretty introverted, but we have a great relationship.  I think it can be both good and bad.  When we're happy and loving, it's sweet and blissful.  When we argue, we tend to compromise and we never get on each other's nerves or have all out fights, so our relationship is never damaged by it.  We are best of friends and can talk about anything and everything.  However, sometimes we're so introverted that we don't have much to say about anything.  If we're tired or sick, we tend to remain silent and the other person will be bothered or worried.  Sometimes, communication and expression can be difficult when we're in our own shell, but most of the time, our relationship is awesome.  In my opinion though, I wouldn't want to have it any other way.  I adore my relationship with my boyfriend            

  • madishka@xanga
  • brokenheartedboi@xanga

    I am definitely an introvert and dating an introvert.  I have dated extroverts and it can work really well if you can understand and appreciate each others' differences (like any relationship).  The extrovert has to be understanding when the introvert doesn't feel up to going to that party and either stay in or go out without the introvert.  The introvert has to sometimes go out of their comfort zone and go to those social outings with the extrovert.

    I read a great book a few years ago called 'The Introvert Advantage'.  It's an excellent book for an introvert, or any extrovert in a relationship with an introvert.  This book states that one of the main differences between introverts and extroverts is that introverts are drained by being in social settings with lots of people and "recharge their batteries" when spending time alone or with a few people that are close to them.  Extroverts though are charged up by being in those social situations with lots of people.  Either can be a "people person" or be shy.

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