So today a friend of mine sent me a text inviting me to help him pick out a few shirts at the mall with the promise of dinner as a reward. Being broke and bored, I didn't turn him down. We went to the mall, picked up some shirts for him, and went to dinner. It was right around the time we sat down to dinner that I realized what I was privy to .... a sneaky date. I ate my delicious, free, guilt-ridden food and carried on conversation with him. When we were on the way home, he asked if I wanted to see a movie, confirming my suspicions.
I agreed to see a movie since I had nothing better to do tonight. We get to the theater and he picked a movie that was an hour and a half away (which, btw, Jennifer's Body ... HILARIOUS!) so that we were "forced" to go back to his place to play Beatles' Rock Band before it started. I agreed since his roommate is a friend of mine. We watched the movie (he bought the tickets and the food) and he dropped me back at my place. I didn't want to deal with the awkwardness any more than necessary, so I made sure to mention the guy I've been talking while we were on our way back. We got there and he insisted on walking me to the door. I whipped out my keys, fumbling with them and trying to pull the right one out, got it in the door and ran into my house yelling "Thanks! Have a good night!" *door slam, deadbolt turns*
Sure, I'm a jerk. I knew what was going down. I guess I technically used the guy. But, to be fair, he set himself up for all of this. If he had just been outright I would've told him that I wasn't interested and that would be that.
This isn't a new thing for me. I've got at least one other guy who's hot to trot for me like this. What gets me is that these guys are being sneaky about it, pretending to be my friends just so they can get me into a somewhat compromising position. Sorry guys, but I'm not that gullible. How about some honesty for a change?
Have you ever been sneak-attacked like this?
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Comments (60)
OMG STORY OF MY LIFE.
I never sneaked attacked anyone. Either I let them know it's a date or it's just a friendly lunch or dinner out.
well, i guess that's KIND of what my bf did, but i liked him too, and i think he knew i liked him a little too, so....he got away with it. lol. but i know when some's up when someone randomly "becomes" my best friend.... and most do not get away with it.
well as soon as I'd realize that was going down, I'd shut it down, but make sure they knew I appreciated the time. Its easier for me to deal with a little awkwardness and roll back into a friendship then leave a dude all"wtf" while he is waiting at the doorway wondering what the heck just hapened. lol, Ive saved a lot of friendships just being honest and helping them laugh in the situation. I'd feel bad for having a dude take meout like that, so I'd offer to have a few friends over and cook for them or something while playing games or renting a movie =). Im not saying you were wrong, but hey, its not my style.
I have had a few times where I went out and thought it was I'll get your food this time if you get next only to find out that wasnt exactly the case. I just told myself I'd start to pay dutch rather than taking turns paying.
I've never done this...BUT...I have been accused once of it. (First date with a girl I dated a couple years ago...wasn't supposed to be a date [it was a movie...and a whole bunch of our mutual friends were supposed to go...then they {I kid you not} ALL cancelled]. When we went anyhow, it became our first date of sorts...and it lasted a couple years, so it was fun. [She didn't believe me until she asked a couple of the friends a month or so later, though]).
How disorganized can someone's thought processes be that they're too cowardly to ask someone out, but don't quite give up on the notion so they hatch sneak attacks like this instead? It's both worrying and hilariously pitiful.
@salvatruca_stalking_havok13@xanga - lol sometimes people dont know how to ask or try to feel out if the other has those kinds of feelings. Personally, I found it kind of weird when one boyfriend flat out asked me "want to be my girlfriend". Its not like its unusual, but it probably would have expected it more if we had more friendly dates to get to have known each other a little better. He may not have known if it was going in the direction of date or not. H was probably feeling out the situation. =P
.....why the fuck didn't you just say "Sorry, I'm not into you like that"? How fucking immature can you be?????
That's how i met a eventual boyfriend, and guess what? He cheated on me using the same tactics with another girl. Jerks.
oh shit. how desperate can a guy get?
I HATE HATE HATE when guys do that. Just ASK me on a darn date...otherwise I am left wondering if that was his intentions, or if we are just having a friendly dinner/movie which he paid for--which is legit as some of my friends and I take turns paying for each other.
can't blame the guy for trying. it's nature. that's how it works. good thing you were too smart to fall for it. good for you.
Wow. How could you NOT know that was going on? I'm so confused....maybe because the guys I have dated in the past had the balls to actually ask me out.
I can sum this up really fast... These men your pitching to the curb are more than likely good men. They need to realize that most woman these days are totally different from their counterparts ( woman from the 50's, possibly early 60's). Im not complaining about the woman of the present, their more fun than you can shake a stick at, no pun intended. It's been my experience that woman want ass holes. They want to have fun and raise hell. These types are perfect for me to some extent, although i would like to have a wife thats rid of her bad habbits when we walk down the isle, as i will be rid of mine someday when i grow up. Nice guys a short message to you, be a bit more up-front and asshole-ish, that way the girl doesnt thing your pulling a trick on her.
i don't really like what happened here. so he might have been "sneaky" (probably just shy), but he didn't deserve this. once you knew what was going on, you should have backed out if you weren't interested. being bored isn't an excuse to lead a guy on - even a guy who didn't work up the guts to really ask you out.
hahahahahahaaaa I've never heard of the sneak attack date before
Maybe if you'd been outright and told him anyway he wouldn't have wasted his time and money. Though you may be flattering yourself just creating this whole idea about your friend doing things with you solely to "trick" you into a date.
I love that last bit about being "attacked." Please.
If you knew you should have told him. Simple as that. If he still offers to take you out, then accept it as a friend. Sure he was being sneaky, but you were worse.
@RazorBladeParade@xanga - oh go fuck razorblades
@morbidcoronerchick@xanga - and how fucking stupid are you? It's free stupid bitch.
@dating1shshoulddie - I don't think that's conducive to my good health. But thank you for thinking of me, sexy. ;)
U did the right thing. I like some honesty, and not those sneaky tricks. Tell me what u want and i see if i can give it you other than going round and round, when i might not be interested in what u want.
@coinscarf@xanga - Sorry, I wish I could tell you but I lost it in a tragic "sneak date" like the one this article mentions. It started out innocent enough, trying on jeans in a poorly lit clothing store in the mall, but little did I know...
@helpingkill@xanga - Absolutely correct.
Calling this a "sneak attack?"
You should warn your dates that you have low intelligence and need men to be brutish and barbaric to have a nice evening. I apologize for any insult caused, but you knowingly went on a date, being too foolish at the time to realize it, and now attempt to vindicate your guilt by blaming a nice guy who has been shot down too many times by being outright; and now walks with his tail between his legs.
You need someone to slap you, call you a selfish bitch, and google "victim" for you.
The doctor is out.
That's what happened to me! I had no clue whatsoever that I was on a date until after the date was over...or somewhat suspected something in the midst of the date, but ignored it carelessly.
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