If you're checking your SO's phone log, you've got some serious trust issues, and need to stop and seek help right away.  That's so dishonest...  I'd break up over that.

I agree with all of these, huge factors in making a relationship work. I can safely say 1, 5 and 6 is what ruined my last relationship.
My ex would come home from work all pissed off because of his day, and start being rude and short with me like Im the one who pissed him off. That caused serious damage and after a while I started taking it personally and retaliating towards him for turning my mood sour when I didn't even do anything.
Also, trust is huge!!! I am a firm beleiver of proof, if you don't have any then shut up!! My ex would also constantly acuse me of lyeing to him, and asking me inane questions because he thinks something is up, when I was doing nothing of the sort. This is exactly what ruined our relationship, one day I woke up and thought "Hey. Why the hell am I wasteing my time trying to prove something to someone that I don't have to prove! I did nothing wrong. SEE YA!"

Unfortantly we cant always avoid these things, but its deffinatly key to keep these notes in your head for when the time comes.

Mmmm cheating and lying (on multiple occasions)

@InTheThin@xanga - totally agree

about the acting like his mom thing... sure its not a turn on when you tell him what to do.. but I'm assuming you're living with your SO, obviously everything you do isn't going to be trying to "turn him on"... if he's sitting on his ass playing vid games and not helping out around the house you better believe I'll act like a mom. only if I have to though. not everything I do is in hopes to "turn on" my SO.

      Well, my bf is a homebody and so am I, that and we dont like leaving each other out, so I guess we are one of those "spending every waking moment" couples, Whenever he or I want a guys night or girl's night, its always an option, but somehow we both end up going out that night together. IT hasnt really been a problem, and whenever we feel we need some space, we go to the other room lol
       I think lack of communication can be a deal breaker, if you arent clear in your intentions and "test" people. Its almost always doomed for trouble if not failure. I mean no one is a mind reader, and often a suspicous mind finds worry.
     With the phone thing, thats an invasion unless you have permission. My boyfriend and I have nothing to hide, therefore we know all of each other's passwords. However, I trust him and really never snoop like that. I know he had rad a couple of my personal journals even here on xanga, but these are nothing that he couldnt handle or know about. Most the stuff here I talk to him about anyways. =P
         We both have gotten uber comfortable, and honestly, that has been one of the best thing emotionally for our relationship. Neither of us have high standards but are respectful as well with it. Nothing made me feel more at ease than the first time I farted around my SO - as weird as it sounds. There are a LOT of people who even try not to have BM  around thier SO into thier first year of marriage. lol not trying to do TMI, but its true.
      Lying is a big thing though, if you lie and your SO has to find out on thier own, or worse through a third party...that NEVER looks good.Best thing to do is stay honest, be clear about what your doing, when where and why and it puts everyone at ease. There was one incident recently that had me super upset. I made an awesome dinner for my guy and he didnt tell me he was staying late. So I waited for 2 hours total before I called him and found out he stayed behind in class to study. I wasnt mad at him for studyig or not comming home, but majorly disspointed he didnt call to let me know.

Wow, sorry about the rant.

No matter what bad habits someone has, the ultimate determinant of whether one's relationship is likely to last is the long-term compatibility between the individuals.  I've read lots of articles and books on how to figure out if you would be compatible with another, and the best I've come across is a brief e-book by Hayden Dane available at www.haydendane.com.  Dane makes a convincing argument that long-term compatibility is a function of...surprise...Admiration.  I had never given admiration a thought, but after reading Dane's book I'm convinced he's right. In the book, Dane describes a conversation to be had between two people to determine their long-term compatibility. If you have this conversation, even if you were to encounter some of the things described in the blog article, it's likely you would work your way through it if the conversation suggested you had strong long-term compatibility.  Give it a read; well worth your time.

i live with my boyfriend. lately i've been on meds that cause major mood swings. i DO talk to my friends and family about problems we're having or fights and i sure as hell have to act like his mom sometimes. we also spend "a lot" of our time together.

but we also have really good communication. i apologize when i flip my shit over something small because sometimes i can't control what the meds tell me to get upset about, and we talk about it and figure out possible other factors. when he and i are fighting over something and haven't had the chance to talk it out with each other, i consult my friends and family. am i overreacting? or am i right? am i right about how i want to handle things? etc, etc. it helps avoid some unneccesary issues when my boyfriend and i get the chance to talk out our issues. and if he is being an asshole, i rant to my girls. but we all know i still love him and he's a good guy. we just need to let off some steam. people shouldn't read into it too much unless there's actually a problem. and as someone else said, if he is sitting on his ass doing nothing--or worse, making the mess worse--then fucking right i am going to yell at him if i've been busting my ass trying to clean. i only nag sometimes, and it's usually after asking him to help me (either actually helping or stopping with the mess-making).

i do a lot of these things, but i think it also depends on the people in the relationship, and how they handle it, and how extreme things get.

I totally agree, especially with the moodswings.

What wrecks relationships for me is when the other person comes across as boring or implies that we have nothing to talk about.

I think this hits the spot.
Being too comfortable. Jealousy. Spending every waking moment with each other...Those especially.

This post is amazing.  And I completely agree with the first one.  Sometimes a relationship just gets to the point where it's constant fighting and bad moods.  It is not fun to be there, and for the sake of the relationship, one really needs to get out of that mindset...and fast.

Parents, when they want to they will end your relationship for you and you won't know what happened till its 20 years later and you're married to the person they picked out for ya. HA!