I don't need them to approve, but I can't stand them being negative. 
My family and I had a lot of issues when my fiance and I first started dating.  They hated him because they thought a black guy would just use me and break my heart.  Pffft.  A bunch of bs.

Oh I've seen and it's happened to me. Also funny story, when I got together with my wife she told me: There's someone you need to get approval from and I'm not only talking about my kids. So, I said okay because I really wanted to be with her. And she added: My best friends. At first I didn't see a problem with it because I knew how important they are to her. She isn't close to many people, they're like family to her. Then I realized that her very best guy friend is her ex, the father of her children. He looked at me and said, "If you hurt her, so hope to the Goddess that I won't make you wish you were dead." After that he kept an eye on me, though luckily for me, we're friends now lol

But one time I wasn't so lucky, I was with this one guy and I really really liked him. I wanted to be in a relationship with him but all of his family just hated me. Some of his friends hated me too. I have no idea but that's what happened. He didn't know what to do and I saw how it was affecting him. So, for his own sake, to cut to the case. I broke up with him and let him go. It wasn't worth seeing him in pain.

Omygosh. You have no idea...I just went through this the past week with my now ex-boyfriend. Our moms butt heads way too much and I didn't like his mom for some things she did (like forcing him to dump me while watching and making sure he did it) and he straight up didn't like my mom for various reasons. It has affected me MAJORLY. The way he reacted to some things that happened really blew my mind.

I could never wish this on anyone. It's so terribly heartbreaking. We were so happy together for 7 months and he never hurt me or betrayed me (until just recently) so it makes things REALLY hard.

It wasn't even about "approval" though. My mom had nothing against him, just what he was up to. She thought he was going to get me pregnant so she forced us to take a break and chill out for a couple months. Okay we can do that. BUT THEN his mom shows up in a very argumentative manner, and things get taken to the POLICE. It is then that my mom believes my ex never told his mom the truth about things we did (the reasons why she thought I would get preggo) and she was mad at him and gave him evil glares, etc. at the police station. And wa lah! That's all it took for my boyfriend to say "your mom doesnt like me, adios!"

And that's the end.

So yeah, I don't like my mom. They don't like my mom. I have problems with his mom, but I still like her as a person. My mom doesn't like his mom. My mom is fine with him. And ME? I'm just fucked.

This is slightly off-topic, but I remember a person who talked to his girlfriend's mom more than his girlfriend.

This person was a junior at the time, and had a really awesome girlfriend... pity, really, not to mention CREEPY.

- John

@steph - i agree completely.

I don't find it crucial, but I do find it important that my family/friends respect me enough to give whoever I'm into a chance.

my uncle just married a woman whose parents didn't approve, because he's not a doctor.  (yes, you read that correctly.)  they've basically disowned her, as have all of her siblings.  enough said.

I can see the view of parents who don't want their kids getting physical with others.  When people get pregnant before having their own stable home, their parents usually end up paying for it.  At the same time, for those with morals, they also feel like they failed in their parenting.

I saw a slightly different point of view as a teen.  I wanted the experience of a relationship with a girl.  But I didn't want the pressure of feeling like sex was a requirement.  The pressures within were hard enough without the girl acting a certain way.  Though, since I'm a relationship oriented person, I often wonder now if I'd have been better off if I had admitted I was interested in one of my long term crushes, E.H., from a music class I was in for four years.

I'm there now. Generally have been. Lol. My first real relationship... that was for good reason. It was a total train wreck, but there were amazing, total storybook moments that made me fall in love with him & all his flaws. My family never knew about him, but my friends all hated him and still do to this day.
The 2nd guy, my family LOVED him! And I think both of us felt a little like we were dating eachother & our families. After we broke up I missed his family a little more than I missed him. Haha. My parents on the other hand were sick of his shit near the end.
Now, my mom had one particularly bad run-in with my boyfriend when we first started hooking up, totally my fault. So now she calls him "that scumbag" which kinda eliminates him from all conversation. It only irritates me when he brings up how he won't even attempt to patch it up with my family, nor does he really care. Eventually, I'll care that my family at least doesn't need to run around calling him "that scumbag". But with his family, I love them, they're quirky and I feel lke part of their family. I was having HUGE problems with a friend, who was jealous I was in a relationship, who was constantly making excuses to hang out with me, trying to keep me away from my bf as much as possible, talking down about him & telling me to break up with him constantly. We don't speak as much anymore because I got sick of it and I don't feel the need to value a friendship where my personal judgment & my happiness isn't valued.

i'd breifly reply to that, yes it has happened to me...and i also think that i was being kiddish and my parents were right to go against it. I realized it much later, but i was pretty wrong.

You said, "If you find someone who you want to be with and makes you happy, then go for it."

I disagree to some extent, because I think some people can find someone that makes them happy and who they want to with - and is still a bad influence on them.  A lot of the times, parents and other people step in when they feel like their child/friend is being dragged down. 

My sister is married to someone who controls her (won't let her meet her best friend alone, deletes her emails before she gets the chance to read them, etc.), yet she's the happiest she's ever been in her entire life.  My entire family hates the guy because we see him for who he is.  My sister might be happy now, but we're all pretty sure she'll pay for this wedded bliss. 

Just because a person makes you happy, does not mean they are good for you.

I think it's wise to listen to what people around you are saying. 

In my family, this is definitely a big issue for them. If they do not approve of me being with somebody, it could all go downhill from there. Family is a big part of my life and if they can't seem to get along with the person I am with, it will really bother me no matter how much I love this person.

Though I won't let that get in the way of my relationship, if it's being in a relationship with someone worth being with, it's something I'll have to reconsider because if my parents don't get along with him, there must be a reason why.

Fortunately, my parents love my husband. So I've never come across this problem but if I had, it will certainly be one of the biggest conflicts in my life. To choose my family over someone I really love, that's a difficult decision.