Saturday, 03 October 2009
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Speed Dating err....Marriage?
Recently, if you read my blog you know Ive been fretting about a few things, the big one has been planning a wedding. It then inspired a blog about many of the questions I've been wanting to ask, some because of a blog of his and some out of pure curiosity before we got married. I've known him and been dating him for about 5-6 years, I don't assume I know everything and definitely know everyone has thier own speed in dating. However, I heard something on Houston's Buzz radio station that dumbfounded me. Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom had gotten married after only a few weeks of dating. Like I said, everyone has their own speed.. but I'd be terrified at getting married to someone after only knowing them a couple of weeks, especially since after 5-6 years in my own relationship, I still spew questions like no tomorrow.
What is the shortest time frame from dating to marriage you have witnessed? How long would you have to wait before committing, if your the committing type? If married, how long were you dating before you decided to tie the knot? If you are one who were married in less than 6 months, what did it for you - what made you decide they were "the one"? Were there any extra factors? (Pregnancy, military or financial reasons - dont be afraid to list- I'm not judging. Just curious, if you are one of the ones who are married in 6 months or less, how long has/ had your relationship lasted? Do you regret not waiting longer?
All this morning they have been spouting wedding details, and it was only a little bit ago that I remembered sparked a relationship and announced that to the public. I'm not saying any of this is wrong, but I know I would feel that a couple of weeks just would be enough to committ like that. With that mentioned, I'm curious.In my other post, kidzandK9z made a comment about asking questions before marriage and it revolved her friends in a conversation. "Someone asked all the ladies if they were asked to marry the same guy, knowing how things would turn out, would they do it?" - It was a completely different blog, but a question that rang to me and how people feel about marriage.
My question to anyone who has married, do you wish you had waited longer to know the person? Would it have helped your marriage? If you have anything you would like to add, I want to know. I would love to hear about some success stories for those who HAVE gotten married in short amounts of time, if there are any Xangans who are in or know of one.
What do you think about such a fast paced courting process?
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- From: wolvenchic@xanga
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Comments (37)
Why do you keep saying 5-6 years? How do you not know if it's 5 or 6? lolz
They're celebrities, so it's all for attention imo.
I got engaged at 10 months into dating. :)
It is once again in the mind. If both of you are honestly looking towards marriage and want it immediately, it can be even in a week and and you make it work. It is the genuine intention, need and readiness for commitment that matters.
In Africa where i come from, youth would marry people they hardly knew, you must have heard of arranged marriages. And these marriages lasted and many enjoyed themselves. Sometimes we spend a lot of time asking many questions and never bringing forth any answers.
If u meet someone who wants marriage as much as you and there is evidence that they are genuinely committed to it, just go for it. Dating time has little to do with a fulfilling marriage.
whenever you feel the time is appropriate for both of you =) I do usually find that my friends are engaged after 2-3 years of dating.
One of my friends was engaged about 2 months after dating this person/meeting them and married about 4 months after.
@not_izzy@xanga - she obviously means somewhere in the middle of 5 and 6
My husband and I were dating 6 weeks when we got engaged. Six months later, we were married. I don't think that the length of the time you know someone has a whole lot to do with whether or not they're right to marry. When you know, you know, and well, we'll be married six years this coming spring, so I guess it worked. In reality, it all comes down to communication. If you can communicate and work things out, the rest will fall into place. And clearly I already was attracted to my husband when I met him, or we would never had become engaged.
Oh, and we had no extenuating circumstances (not even the military... he joined 4 1/2 years into our marriage).... we were just ready for marriage and knew what we wanted. :)
My parents dated for three months before they got married, as did my grandparents. I plan on keeping my engagement a little longer (i.e. 1 1/2 years), but we'll see what happens. I think that time doesn't really matter in relationships. It all depends on what you're looking for. If you're looking to get married and commit to be with someone for the rest of your life, and you find someone and you think that they're the one you want to do that with, then yes, you could very well date for a week and be happy for the rest of your life. But, if you're looking to be happy, and you find someone, and you date forever and just finally get married because it's the 'right time', you will probably be less happy.
I have never witnessed this personally. I think in the case of "celebrities" it's because they live so fast. Khloe Kardashian in particular is someone who has everything. She grew up rich and wanting for nothing. Shes seen the world, owns a business, and if she decides she wants anything else she can just buy it. Now that shes in love (or believes she is) she's making sure it doesn't get away because it's not something you can buy.
my mom didn't even date my dad. he came and talked to her, she asked what his parents do. and they got married. but that was during the vietnam war and my mom only married my dad so she could escape the viet congs.
I've witnessed a few failed marriages because people have not taken the time to actually get to know one another. However; I have also seen speed daters that have had successful marriages. Personally, I prefer getting to know someone longer and dating this person on a long-term basis. I've been in a relationship for 4-5 years and we are still young and have a lot to talk about and know about one another. But like you stated, everyone has their own speed and preference.
I went to church with my hubby for about 5 years --- never rly talked to him; always thought he was cute. Started dating in February 08 --- got pregnant in April 08 --- Engaged in May 08 --- Married in September 08 =] 7 months altogether lol ... some people honestly just KNOW.
I was married exactly 2 months after I started dating my husband, AND it was a long distance relationship.We spent a total of 9 days together in person before our wedding. And we are very much in love. It was the best decision I ever made. When you know, you just know. For some people it takes years for that "knowing" to dawn on you. For others it doesn't take nearly as long.
did we all forget the whole britney spears and jason alexander debacle?
@OngishLyOngLee@xanga - whoa. that's intense. but at the same time really interesting. haha
@lilmizzie27@xanga - you have the cutest baby profile picture
I mean I think it all depends on maturity/experience, not
age. Right now a lot of my high school classmates are getting
married/engaged (22/23). I was 19 when I got engaged and got married
18 days after my 20th birthday, but we just didn't "jump" right into
it.
First, just got to know each other (talked on the phone/aim....never saw each other): Dec '03- May '04
Long distance relationship: June '04 - July '05
Engaged: March '06 (after living with each other for almost a year)
Married: May '07
Some people thought that we were moving too fast....3 years being together (2 of those years living together)...ok i can see it, but didn't really agree. We
weren't "on and off" at ANY time....we didn't even break up once! So
all together we've been together for 5 1/2 years in Dec '09 and Married
for 2 1/2 years in Nov '09. Next year we are planning on having a
child. :)
The only thing is that we both could have gone to college or something before moving out, but it did make was mature a lot faster (i.e. responsibilities)....we had a long distance relationship and we didn't want it that way anymore. I don't really regret our decisions. :)
I don't think a few weeks are suffice to get to know one another...perhaps these shotgun weddings are the reason why we have such a horrendous divorce rate?
This story makes the "gays unable to marry/sanctity of marriage" debate even more ridiculous. I've known a gay couple that have been dating since before I met them who(have hit some rough spots but..) are still together now; can't get married. These crazies have some dope sex and decide to get married on a whim and its 100% legal. NOT ONLY THAT, he has 3 kids with another woman who he's been with for like 10 years(dont quote me on that)... NO WEDDING RING. I feel sorry for her... even though I'm sure that child support is treating her lovely right now.
Do I think its impossible for some people to genuinely CLICK and fall for one another really fast? Of course not. Do I think THIS particular relationship is rushed and possibly bullshit? Given the drama and media circus surrounding the Kardashians... its hard to think otherwise.
Sidenote : Dude's shirt looks like a baby barfed on it, or a giant bird had REALLY good aim from up above.
in way over her head.
i'll give them a year.
kourtney is so much prettier than khloe
ew =\
khloe is attention deprived, compared to her sister anyway, so she had to make a moving statement.
I'd say I'd had to have been dating the person I wanted to get married to for at least 2 years.
It definitely depends on the person. There's one couple I know who got engaged after TWO WEEKS of dating, and were married after 6. And they are happily married today, 25 years later. Them though, they're the type of people who just know what they want. And like you said you'll always have questions, you're never going to know everything about that other person.