So I have spoke of this before. I am black lady dating a white man. Interracial dating is more complicated than it seems. Yes... this is America. We are pretty much free to do a lot of things other countries are not. Like drop out of school, be a prostitute (in some places), run for President. Be what we want to be...etc. But there are two things that bother OH SO MUCH!!! Dating someone from a different race and getting stared down for it, and dating someone from the same sex and getting stared down for it.
I cant really speak for those who are gay, lesbian, or bi. But from the point of view of dating a person outside of my race is definitely something I can talk about.
When you do, you have to be strong. The staring is constant even though others who are "PRO-INTERRACIAL DATING" don't see it, it happens way too much than its suppose too. This is America people. You are bound to see something that you don't like and can do nothing about because "they" have the right to do it.
I get the stares from all age groups. Young and Old. And they all look so fascinated or astonished that this interracial dating thing doesn't exist. I just don't understand how people can still think like that. You see it on t.v. Hear about it, etc and yet the constant staring continues.
You may ask. "WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT STARING PEOPLE SO MUCH, JUST DO YOUR OWN THING."
Believe me, I've tried. But when it is constant, you just don't forget about that. You hear when people talk about you and other things. You gotta deal with the old fashioned people who say "STICK WITH YOUR OWN RACE." You have to deal with people snickering behind your back. You have to deal with people who try to discourage you on how will you raise a child....stupid crap like that. Constant bickering on the color of your skin vs. the other!!
It still exists people We should help stop it.
Do you know what it feels like to be in an interracial relationship. Do you know somebody who has?
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Comments (154)
No and yes. I don't see any reason for me to date outisde my race, but I don't see any reason not to, really, except everyone I know would think I'm weird. I try to get to know people based on their personality, not their skin color.
Being in interracial relationships are work. I have actually never dated in my race, it's not that I go out and chose men differently than me, but it just works out that way. I accept it and keep going, screw other people, they can't determine or justify my happiness, only I can.
my brother's wife is asian and he gets it all the time. The staring and everything that goes along with it. It's irritating because she a wonderful woman and they're s great together. It bothers me when I see this.
from my own personal experience, I've dated people of many "races" before but I like to call it what I like in a guy/girl. It may so happen to be that the person has a varying skin color as myself. I'm bi and damn fucking proud of it too. It's pretty obvious lol. Things get tough when all people can do is stare.
Actually not that long I was talking to an ex-boyfriend of mine recently and this was what we were discussing. He'll a tall fair-skinned black gentlemen. (Fine looking may I add) We just talked about it and even when we were talking about it we were getting stared at. Come on people!
Yes I do. In fact, my ex boyfriend and current boyfriend are the only ones I've dated who are "of my race" (even that can lead to issues when it comes to Hispanic countries -____-). My previous boyfriends had been black and (continental) Indian. Thankfully I lived in a really diverse area, so the only one that garnered looks was my relationship with the Indian boyfriend, because it's just not something they were used to seeing. Indian girls got upset (she knows nothing about our culture! oh noes!) and tried to tear the relationship apart (possibly succeeded), but the white folks were accepting of it.
I'm married to an asian woman. So I know exactly what you are talking about... I get stared at for a few reasons when we're together.. 1. She's beautiful, 2. She's Asian and I'm Caucasian, 3. Cultural differences between the two of us. But I just focus on the fact that she's beautiful and everyone's jealous.
I agree that it takes a lot of work but love takes a lot of work in general to make things work... possibly being in an interracial relationship requires more upfront commitment than others to send the message out.
My parents. :p I think I have nothing against seeing couples of different races together because I come from that type of relationship. I don't know. It doesn't bug me. In fact, it makes me happy. I was talking with my counselor about this exact subject a couple weeks ago. He's bi-racial as well and thinks of it as blurring the lines of racism in a way. I'd have to agree.
I've liked guys from all different races. Race is not an issue with me. However, it bugs me when people get weirded out that I like a guy who's asian or caucasian or whatever his race may be, just because he's not mixed or african american. I'm thinking,"LOOK AT ME! I'M TWO DIFFERENT RACES AND ALL SORTS OF DIFFERENT CULTURAL BACKGROUNDS! WHY DOES RACE MATTER?!?!" It really pisses me off. I have a right to like who I want.
It is high time to accept gays and lesbians. These people have been prejudiced against for long enough, and some seem to think its acceptable. Interracial dating is quickly becoming more acceptable but we're not where we need to be.
I'm currently in an interracial relationship. Honestly, I haven't heard anyone outside of family. complaining about us [or I don't listen in, because I'm too happy in this relationship]. The only thing I have heard is that my SO's side of the family, minus like... three of his family members are mad because I'm not black, and because I'm not built like a toothpick. Sometimes, I think they forget he was a product of an interracial relationship as well...
I'm gonna live my life, regardless of what other people say. I'm happy with everything in my life... why change it?
I love interracial relationships. That is all.
My sister is in a interracial relationship.Come to think of it she's pretty much always dates interracially.She has problems with staring,rude comments and sometimes the guy's older family members.It seems like it's usually the 'less-cultured' are the ones with problems.Who cares what they think anyways.ijs
I'm currently in an interracial relationship. bf is white and every time we would go somewhere, ppl would just stare at us. at first, i was uncomfortable, but now i'm okay with it. my next step is to tell my parents about him..and i don't know how to approach my parents about it. ;/
I suppose I'm in an interracial relationship. I'm Caucasian and my boyfriend's Middle-Eastern. But some argue that Middle-Eastern people are still in the same category as Caucasian.
My parents have been, and still are in an interracial marriage =P
What is this "race" people speak of and when did it start? Am I too late to enter this "race"? Do I need to register and is there an entry fee or a prize if I win?
BTW: I am Hispanic my girl is white and we never notice anyone staring.
My first question is: Where do you live?
I think even in the US, there are still "racist" areas. Areas full of ignorance and "traditional" views.
I am in an interracial relationship (I'm Mexican and my girlfriend is Austrian), and at first, even her step-dad looked at me weird. However, living in Dallas, TX, it's very normal to see interracial couples and homosexual couples as well. From my experience, people seem to be more accepting there and just don't care too much.
I have several friends in interracial relationships and it's (to me) the same as if they weren't. I don't see the big deal about being different colors or having been born in different places. If both people are attracted to each other and make each other happy, that's what really matters in the end.
I've dated twice outside my race... three times if you include a puerto rican, and my mom has not found out about any (except the spanish guy) because she thinks it's weird. she's not racist, she just doesn't trust the stereotype. but any of the black guys i dated were actually the exact opposite of their cliche. and even though i have been in an inter racial relationship, i still give stares to other couples. i'm not judging, i just find it almost a fascination. but still, despite my experiences with inter racial dating, i think i'm gonna try to stay within my own race next time i come around.
I don't think I've ever been in a relationship with anyone that's also Chinese :/
For the most part, I've dated caucasians and the way people look at us never really bothered me, but for some reason, it kind of does this time around. I think it's because I'm his first interracial relationship and he notices it so he tells me about it and I notice it. I think I get the looks of disapproval mostly from older asians.i'm a white girl dating a black guy and we're both young and not very serious but when we are together i know exactly what you mean about the stares and how you want to brush it off but you just can't. and people do say that. ignore it, don't let it faze you, or leave the relationship if it really bothers you. but none of those options work for me. i want to ignore it but it's always there and you just can't ignore it. and i don't want to leave the relationship because it really has made us stronger knowing that other people want to bring us down but we refuse to give in.
yea, the stares and the comments and the confused looks and everything, those do suck. but like i say a relationship isn't a relationship if there's nothing to have to work out.
nobody who isn't or has never been in an interracial relationship knows exactly what people like you and i mean when we say that the stares do bother us, the comments do affect us, yet we don't want to change our relationship for it.
@Ni_Shi_Wo_De@xanga - one of my wife's friends is engaged to this lovely and may I add gorgeous asian guy. They get stared at all the time especially by older asians and he told me that they don't go out much with each other because it was bothering him. Luckily his boyfriend/fiance is understanding enough not to take offense
@revealingimperfections@xanga - my ex is a fair-skinned black guy and when we were together, It was hard on me the looks that we always got and the comments that I heard especially if they were about him. That bothered me greatly. We didn't break up because of it though.
I
too am dating a white man and I'm a woman of color. and I find the
constant GAWKING to be annoying. For example, One day, my boyfriend and
I went to get lunch, the couple next to us LITERALLY stopped eating
their food and stared at us for 25minutes. After they got over the
initial shock, they resumed to eating their meal but I constantly saw
their eyes shift towards us.
I often hear the snickers from
black men, "What does he know about dating her?" I think it's
pointless and stupid. It's 2009 for goodness sake!
My boyfriend always says, "They stare at us b/c we look good, so
let's give them something to stare about!" I just find it annoying that
I can't be with someone who I love wholeheartedly without being
silently judged.
I'm pretty interracial myself. xD
Where I live, it's not very strange for two different races to be a couple. Actually, I prefer it. Since I live in such a small island it's almost like you're related to everyone of the same race one way or another.
I have been in quite a few interracial relationships (usually white guy, I'm asian). I have yet to come across racism. Maybe a disgruntled older friend that questions me when I was younger but that's it. I guess the white-black issue is more prevalent.
One perk to interracial relationships: less likelihood of genetic disorders in your children. You are allowing the human race to live on and not be killed off by "in-breeding". I'm actually in an interracial relationship right now and I do get stared out when I go to places with absolutely NO diversity (e.g. Perry County, PA). All that matters is that we are happy.
Every single one of my ex's were of a different background. So yes we always got stared at but then again.....I don't think I should be allowed to leave a comment...haha I'm super tall so I always got stared at anyway!
Oh and btw I think I said this before to a blog that was similar to this one...I think God wanted us to mix up...why else would most interracial babies and people be so beautiful?