Friday, 02 October 2009

  • What Keeps You In Your Relationship?

    I've been with my boyfriend for a year and half. I love him very much. I love him because he's very sincere, honest, sweet, handsome, loving and caring.. that's only a part of the reason why I love him, BUT!! (of course, there's a but!) More often than not, we get into these stupid arguments. They are very, very stupid.

    For instance, we'd get into an argument because he gave me an attitude because he thought I was mad at him and giving him an attitude for no reason when all that happened was that we were both just having a bad day. Now, we've tried talking about being more understanding and less defensive towards each other, but.. it's just a part of our personality and it's hard to change. We can try, but often times we fail.

    I've stayed with him because, besides the fact that I love him, I really enjoy the good times spent together. When times are good for us, they're absolutely great. I enjoy his company and I appreciate him for who he is and what he does for me and the people around him. He's overall a great guy. The fact that we have so many of these stupid arguments and awkward moments makes me feel negative about our relationship- I always feel like I have to be on guard of my own feelings, but all the reasons given before have keep me here for this long.

    What keeps you in your relationship, besides love, when it seems like there are more down times than up?

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Comments (44)

  • steph

    The fact that he can always make me smile, no matter what the situation :]
  • xoTRAMox@xanga

    @steph - exactly.
  • LikeThatSunshine@xanga

    I think about how life would be WITHOUT him.
    My boyfriend is my everything.
    I'm not sure how I'd get by
    if I didn't have him to talk to,
    or him to feel loved by.
    He reminds me about everything
    that's good in life--
    and he keeps me optimistic.
    My dad was abusive, and my famiy,
    not too supportive,
    so to have this amazing guy
    who loves me for who I am,
    despite the random outbursts of emotion
    that I'm prone to have is wonderful.
    What keeps me in my relationship
    is that I know I could never find someone else
    who would fit me better, or love me better,
    or "get" me.
  • PervyPenguin@xanga

    Oxytocin, copious amounts of it pumping through the brain.

    *high fives no one*

    - Kunoichi
  • inconceivable_alicia@xanga

    My boyfriend and I have been together off and on for two years. We've been through EVERYTHING... fights, good times, bad times, staying up all night, and and crying together. What keeps us together? Besides love... Our compatibility. He's my best friend. He's understanding of me. I couldn't live without him. 
  • Yukihimekumiko@xanga

    "I love him because he's very sincere, honest, sweet, handsome, loving and caring.."
    ~Yeah, i have those same reasons. But aside from that, it's just because we're so close. I probably have never related to many more people as much as i can to him. We're kind of on the same wavelength, and we're both very easygoing which makes it easy for us to get along and i don't think we have ever had a true argument or issue. And then, there are all the crazy things we've been through together that have done nothing but strengthen our relationship along the way. It's like, i'm in too deep by now and i wouldn't want it any other way.
  • justXforXyou_beautiful@xanga

    I think I kinda agree with all the comments. I, like you, get into the stupidest fights with him and way more often than I'd like. I've though about leaving him but then I think how it would be WITHOUT him... not a pretty thought.

    Also, he is my best friend. I tell him more than I've ever told anyone in my life, and he's like the dude version of me. Also, we're engaged and living together, so the ring on my finger and the one year lease tells me it wouldn't be very easy to leave. Or the fact that I don't have a car at the moment... I'd be stranded haha
  • stumbling_sweetheart@xanga

    Because after every argument we've been through, every disagreement, every stupid fight... we learn from each other... we both grow... and we both become more aware of what we need to do to make things work for us. I mean aside from all the he makes me happy, laugh, general stuff - I'm still with him because I see him trying every day to become a better, more understanding, more willing to try person than he was when we started dating. Of course at the core, hes still who hes always been, and I've learned to accept that too. Which I think is important to making any relationship work. 
  • ironic_vertigo@xanga

    After 4 years... I would say the fact he "gets" me. We may fight, but I love him to death. He's my everything... Always been there for me, through thick and thin. 
  • silverlocket_88@xanga

    @ironic_vertigo@xanga - youre so lucky
  • I_ChooseThin@xanga

    Having fun.

    It's hard to do with a baby, but we try to as often as possible.
    It's the glue that holds us together.
  • shadesofillusion@xanga

    let me think about it.... is it the sex that keeps me with my wife? I'm just joking. I mean the sex is great but that's besides the point. I think that what keeps me together with my wife is the thought that she's one of the most precious individuals in my life. We fight, yes but we feel an intense connection with each other that we feel doesn't really happen with other people. We keep that connection alive, whether it's just talking or having fun with the kids or just relaxing.
  • ironic_vertigo@xanga

    @silverlocket_88@xanga - I know. I don't feel like I deserve it. Thanks. :)
  • kor_girl@xanga

    one of my exbfs and i fought about three days out of the week, only to make up for the weekend and fight about something else the week after. we fought like cats and dogs. we had a fight on the street, i used to walk away from him and shut my phone off. we'd have "breaks" only to get back together although our problem never solved itself. even when we've argued till we were blue in the face, we stayed together. we both argued that we still cared and that's why we fought, we argued because we are TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT people however, that's when I decided to really end it. It wasn't healthy for either of us to be fighting so much in our relationship. I loved him and he loved me, but in the end I loved myself more and I needed to stop being in such an unhealthy relationship.


    Maybe you should ask yourself, other than the fact you love him, are you happy? in this relationship where neither of you can handle your tempers nor when you find yourself attacking each other when you should be supporting each other, does LOVE cover all hurts and bumps to keep doing it...repeat steps 1-10, repeat cycle till what?


    my relationship is still new so i don't argue with myself to see reason WHY I'm with him but I do ask him that when I'm not sure. I'm with my bf because in spite of my impatience to do some good in this world and I have yet to make my mark, he keeps me sane. he also has the tendency to make me go insane when he jokes around but most of the time, when i'm listening to his heart beating, i feel safe, normal and sane. that and his appreciation for my existence is a bonus, we want the same things in life and we mesh well. how i might feel about "why" we're together months later is another story i guess?
  • dearFLOPPY@xanga

    my boyfriend and i get into stupid fights. he's not one to argue, but sometimes if i have a bad day, yeah, my temper is definitely short. we argue it out and sometimes its an intense fight about absolutely nothing at all because...love is all that matters. he's my best friend and he's worth it. im just lucky he stays by my side when im giving him the silent treatment. he definitely doesn't deserve it, but what the hell do we know when we're frustrated, right? we never make the right moves. i love him even more after each argument, knowing that he's there to work it out with me. <3
  • asininity

    Besides love?

    I don't know. I think it all boils down to love.

    I love him.
  • discover_hienie@xanga

    haha i don't know cuz most of mine ended badly lol
  • Lil_Firefly_25@xanga

    Eh, my boyfriend and I have gotten into small arguments, but we love each other and look small things over and try to compromise and talk.
  • xjadersx@xanga

    Because it's so comfortable, and I love him. That's enough reason for me. 
  • LonerB@xanga

    @KrazeeKunoichi009@xanga - Word. Oxycontin is great.


    I guess the fact that I can be left alone for as much time as I need without any questions asked and/or any freaking out like "OMG!!! You don't wanna talk to me anymore?!!"
  • feelslikejuly@xanga

    my boyfriend and I have been together for three years now and we've never fought. We had small disagreements that usually end up with me just not talking to him. All are usually resolved by him saying: "What did I do wrong? How Can I fix it and make it better?" lol. We've been through a lot (long distance off and on, and now). He helped me through one of the hardest times in myh life. Nice to say I'm comfortable with him and we trust each other. it's amazing :)
  • Starlite

    What keeps me in my relationship... besides working in the same aviation industry? Love, trust, loyalty, commitment and good sense of humor.

    Yes, couples argue sometimes, but it's good to kiss and make up and agree to disagee.
  • Insomnia_Pickles_XtraTomato@xanga

    he's my best friend of 6 years - still weird, still unpredictable, still fantastic....
  • xSayakax@xanga
    Love is love, but it takes more than love for a relationship to work. I understand what you're going to b/c my bf and I had those moments too. For me, whenever I'm upset or blue, I just concentrate on thinking about the good memories I had with him. I think about his personality and I knew that's just the way he is. I think about, perhaps, I did do something wrong. I believe that arguments can only happen with two ppl both contributing. That means, no one is completely right/wrong. Like you said, you just both had bad days or don't communicate well. What I find myself doing, is to try to communicate with him. Try to give some time off and thing talking when we are both calm. Try to understand each other's point of view, why he thinks that way, and why I reacted this way. If you want your relationship to work, both sides must work together; it's give and take. Of course arguments makes you feel negative, but think of the positive, of why you love him so much, of all the good times you had together, of all the things he does for you and you'll feel better. Changing is hard, but if you work together and try to understand each other's feelings, you'll naturally realize how to work things out next time. A stable relationship takes a long time to build.
  • PervyPenguin@xanga

    @LonerB@xanga - Oh you big silly goose! *shot* Why wouldn't I want to talk to you? I actually was thinking earlier today, "Omg, I haven't talked to LonerB in forever!"

    lol

    - Kunoichi

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