Friday, 02 October 2009

  • You + Me = Us: My Dating Formula

    To all those people who are single and searching,

    To all those who desperately looking for some one to love en love them

    To all those who are looking for a life time partner the father or mother to their children,

    To all the young men and woman who know that their comes a time when single life bores and marriage is the next step in their lives

    To all those who have lost love and know one day it will return,

    Here is a formula to help you get there in time.  

    Step one: Who are you?

    Do you know who u are? Mainly when you are alone at night, in your bed who are you?

    When no one is watching, like when you are in the loo (their say this is the best place to think about one self) who are you there? That person who is you are, is the person who is going to sustain a relationship with another people.

    First know who you are and then you will be able to know what you want in a partner.

    Step two: What do you want?

    When you know what you want then you will your priorities in life and what you want in it. Like what you want in a partner. This knowledge you have acquired about your self is the compass to the promised land of future life. This gives you the direction to go when looking for a life time partner that person that keep almost awake at night, the person you always dream of.

    It is like looking for something you already know is out there due to the description you have with you. Thus you have narrowed down you search engine and have a specify person you are looking for. It adds purpose to your life and also shows your maturity, advancement in life and knowledge.

    You should invest this time in finding out what you want other than just driving in like that cause you will land on some one who will terminate your life for ever because of lack of focus.

    Step three: Take time and write down what you want and who you are.

    These two things move together what you are determines what you want in life.

    So sit down and write who you are or who you think you are or what you found out you are and what you want to be. This provides you will the help you need with building your character and self esteem.

    After the above writing, now write down what you want in that partner draw guidelines which will help you in your search. This is like putting your desires in a contract and signing it to abide by and be faithful to it, u will definitely yield to it and I say God will honor it for you and the universe will honor it too. An added advantage is writing down the hanging place where you think that person would probably be hanging and so you get a good start at searching.

    Step four: Never compromise

    Compromise destroys reputation and personal progress because you are always breaking your only rulers which you made to govern you.

    The freedom you feel with compromise is not promising to yield what you want but a betrayal to what you set down as your guideline to yield what you want. You tend to date the wrong people who are not what you want in a partner. These tend to have few of the qualities you stated down but they are not exactly what you want. This wastes your time and energy and gives you a lot of heart breaks. Try not to compromise, it is not easy cause most of the time there is always one quality missing but have patience my friends and faith.  What you want is coming just give it time it will be here. But if you compromise it will take a lot of time to appear because you already have someone and you will miss the love of your life or she or he will pass you by.

    Step five: Pray

    All of us pray about many things but never take time to pray for our future husbands, wives, and children. We tend to just except God to just provide because we think he has too. No God will provide if you ask of him, as I think even Adam in his heart told God he was lonely and God saw it so he made Eve for him. So tell God about your hearts desires and present to him the qualities of that person you want to love and cherish for ever. ask him to help you get that person u want like you ask for food, life every day also ask for love, because he who provides life also provides love. And God knows who that person is the one meant for you alone or he can even mode that person for you in character and nature. As you pray also consultant him about who you are and who u want to be don’t forget who you want as your partner. He will make you who you want to be and definitely make you that partner.

    So go out there and start looking for that person, dnt locks your self up that she or he will come to you, no go out and look for him or her with faith you will find. Try out the places u think he or she will be hanging, position your self in that place so that they don’t pass u by.

    Remember love grows u might think u will just fall in love with that person there and then which is possible but sometimes it just grows with time as u see each other more. Pray for the love to grow because that is your right person. many of you want love at first sight alone but if it not on your list of wants then leave it a lone, focus on the rest and even when it on your list just remember falling in love and being in love are totally different things (lessons for another time).

    Hope this will help some one who does not know what to do or even one who is frustrated about love and one who is desperate to find one.

    Tell me what you think, can this formula work? Cause if it can, I am developing it and if it cant I will kill it immediately.

Comments (27)

  • ChevalierSeingal

    It amazes me how people think marriage is the ultimate utopia.

    Anyhow, you are a good writer Mephina! I will give you that.

  • FOXHOUND_HQ@xanga

    @ChevalierSeingal - It can be if you work towards it. 

    I don't think it will be perfect, but if both spouses go into it with full effort on both sides, marriage can be a blast. Western culture today though is so jaded from all the bad marriages we witness now, that we blame marriage itself for all the problems that actually stem from the spouses going into marriage for the wrong reasons and/or not working towards making the marriage a good one once they're married. Marriage itself is not the enemy of lasting, loving lifelong relationships, but marriage is supposed to be that lasting, loving lifelong relationship. The true enemy is our own selfish desires that get in the way of our ability to love another human being in a way that is required to have a loving, lifelong relationship. The key is love, selfless, passionate, caring love.

    To me, marriage is the ultimate "friends with benefits" style relationship. I want my future-wife to be my best-friend with benefits.

  • Sounds0fLaughter@xanga

    I thought this post was going to be something realistic, or at least something cute. =[


    Boo for bad titles.
  • ChevalierSeingal

    @FOXHOUND_HQ@xanga - I understand you are coming from a
    christian perspective. That is great for you. I use to be a christian.
    Personally I am a poly open type of guy who enjoys experiencing all
    kinds of different flavors and variety. But I am completely honest
    about it and never deceptive.

    I personally believe that marriage puts unnecessary expectations on a relationship and is damaging to women.

    I feel that if a relationship is strong enough to last, it will last
    on it's own, otherwise you are forcing it for the sake of commitment
    and not true happiness which I feel is most important.  PEACE!

    P.S I found a spelling error so I had to delete and rewrite.

  • ChevalierSeingal

    "To all those who desperately looking for some one to love en love them"

    This stems from low self esteem and ego not from a lack of a partner. Whenever people lack self esteem they get desperate. A relationship is the last thing they need when this happens.

  • schallerbrandon@xanga

    @Sounds0fLaughter@xanga - Seriously. It started off interesting, but then God showed up. Come on, who brought him into our relationships? I almost wish I was gay, so I could commit sodomy on a regular basis... and enjoy it. However, taking one up the plunger for a non existent man in the sky seems rather pointless.

    Next time you write a relationship guide.... don't.

  • veryfairy1@xanga

    Yes I believe it works.  My mom's friend prayed for 10 years to find a good husband and she got it.  Pray everyday so you can be happy and not miserable.  God listens to your prayer.

  • PervyPenguin@xanga

    ....

    @ChevalierSeingal - I actually agree. Some people have this distorted view that getting married is "happily ever after". And that relationships can last "forever". Where's the realism?

    Meh, nice and poetic, but it's not something I take seriously.

    - Kunoichi

  • ChevalierSeingal

    @KrazeeKunoichi009@xanga - That's what I like about you. You know how to think for yourself and not be bullied around by the "do gooder's" who use the evil tricks like "shame" or "pity (I will pray for you)", or "you won't get our approval" etc etc etc. It is not as easy to think for yourself but it is much more rewarding. Good job friend!!! 

  • shadesofillusion@xanga

    @ChevalierSeingal - I so agree, I don't have a problem with the Christian view about praying for someone to love them. personally I'm Wiccan with mystic views from other poly religions. Though I believe that though once you know what you want, you should look for it.

    @ChevalierSeingal - Low self-esteem can seriously lead to one's downfall. It's kind of destroys relationships as well.

  • PervyPenguin@xanga

    @ChevalierSeingal - Oh you! It just seems unbelievable to me, you know? What? You fall "in love at first sight", marry, have over 9000 children and live happily ever after? People weren't meant to be forced to be with one person for the rest of their lives. I don't like how people who believe in fairy tale endings consider my point of view as "untrue". I don't like feeling their "pity" because I've never "met the right one". *face palm*
    I mean, out of all the people on this planet, chances are there is always someone better than the person you married. *shrug*

    You're awesome too! Don't take anyone's shit! Hell yes!

    - Kunoichi

  • ChevalierSeingal

    @shadesofillusion@xanga - I like those views. I have been studying a little chaos magik lately.

  • PerfectionPerplexion@xanga

    i so needed this! thank you..!

  • Sounds0fLaughter@xanga

    @schallerbrandon@xanga - Exactly! Whenever a friend of mine says something like 'jesus christ!' when frustrated instead of saying other choice words such as 'fuck' or 'shit'... I ask, "And what does he have to do with anything?"

  • Pinkglitterangel@xanga

    i like it, and i do pray for the right person in life!


  • breaking_expectations@xanga

    Praying for someone to love you? Tres unrealistic. You can "hope" but to "pray"? Would you really want God to force someone to love you?


    Also, please try not to butcher the english language. If you're going to post something on here please learn to spell and don't use "u."

  • xFizzysworldx@xanga

    @breaking_expectations@xanga - Umm God won't "force" someone to like you, but rather find the right person that will accept you. Accept you, and love you for who you are.
    But then again, its a matter of belief. To alot of people though (myself included), God does exist and we can see the miracles he makes for love. If only we stopped to think of the possibility and started praying. Then, we'd see things from a different perspective, and let God guide us the way He sees fit.    
    Nice post Mephina  x 

  • breaking_expectations@xanga

    @xFizzysworldx@xanga - The irony of this is that I do believe in God, but I'm skeptical of praying to find someone to love. The Christian teachings I was taught tell me to look for another Christian, but what if I'd be happier with someone who is atheist?


    I don't believe in praying for love, it'll happen whether I waste my time wanting it or not.

  • mephina@xanga

    @PerfectionPerplexion@xanga - you are welcome my dear hope it helps you.

  • mephina@xanga

    @Pinkglitterangel@xanga - and i know God will answer your prayers.

  • Pinkglitterangel@xanga
  • mephina@xanga

    @schallerbrandon@xanga - am sorry if this did not turn out  to be what you wanted, it is just a formula open to improvement and distroying if it does not qualify to help any one. About God, i believe he exists and he has the answers to all our questions of life and above all love, because he demonstrated it better to us through his son. We ask him of guideness to all our small things and issues can we not trust him with our hearts and ask him to provide for us with love?

  • mephina@xanga

    @ChevalierSeingal - thank you. About marriage, it is to those who see i tthat way that i wrote this piece, because those people need to be shown how to do it right if it their ultimate utopia.

  • mephina@xanga

    @xFizzysworldx@xanga - thank you. and through prayer all things are possible.


    @breaking_expectations@xanga - have you every asked for guideness from God in life? because if you have then you know when he asnwers he gives you the best, and if you have not try it you will see the reply. God knows you better than any one on this earth, h eknow what you think and want, he only needs you to comfirm to him through prayer that you want what he knows you want and he wil provide.

  • ChevalierSeingal
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