When you have to lie about how many sex partners you had, that probably means you've had too many.
For example; I once dated a guy who told me he slept with 10 girls. Due to his lack of memory and some loud mouth friends, I found out the number was actually triple that amount. Did I think he was a stud? No. Did I think he was heading to Man-Whore village? Just a little. Okay I know you're thinking what if he started having sex at 16 and he's now in his 30's? If he's been dating around, it's not that bad right? Well, when I dated him he was in his mid 20s and he started his sexcapades when he entered college. Yes, I know college is a breeding ground for promiscuous sex and I didn't give him shit for that. My gripe was: why lie about it?
Another example; a friend of mine started dating this girl from another circle of friends whom I've known for years. I don't know how it got brought up but it did and he told me how many guys she CLAIMS to have slept with. I couldn't help myself and literally laughed out loud. He asked me what was so funny and I didn't know how to break it to him that the number she told him was way off. The last time I spoke with her (which was many years ago) she told me how many guys she had slept with and it's more than my fingers and my toes. So I don't know how she managed to shrink her list down. Did she accidentally forget some? Does bad sex not count? Does drunken one night stand not count?
Now I'm not here to finger point or slinging mud because girls and guys both do it. My question is why not own up to it? Why lie?
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Comments (52)
because sleeping around is generally looked down upon, and no offense, fairly gross.
Lying is stupid. If you're lying at the beginning of a relationship, it's bad.
I don't have an issue with my numbers since I'm lower than anyone I know.
I don't care if I count all of mine...I've only been with 14 total. And it's not like I've gotten with many people at a time. They were always one fling at a time and I went with months without getting with anyone so it's not like it was all together in a short period of time.The thing for me is, I honestly don't know whether or not to count some hook ups because at least three of the times for me was where we started to do it, then after 2 minutes I changed my mind...but by definition my friend thinks I should count it even if it was for a minute.
Another time, I told the guy no I didn't want to, but before I could say anything else he started anyway, I let it happen for a minute then I told him to stop. Do I have to count those? They were pretty pointless.
I guess they're ashamed and afraid of being looked down upon because of the choices they made?
@soniiuh@xanga - Apparently.... I wonder if a person should even be doing something they'll later be ashamed of.
@soniiuh@xanga - That's what I was thinking too.
If you wait until your married then you won't have that problem :) I've only been with my husband and thats fine with me.
Elizabeth Taylor married and divorced 8 times. Would you rather have that?
because people judge by that number. i know how many chicks my boyfriend boned &+ it makes me wanna vomit. if i would have known that number right off of the bat i may have not been interested. i know that you can't take any of those nights back but it still sounds bad.
It calls for a funny plot twist if you get specific, but still gives rep if you were the "player" with the record score. For example, sleeping with 30 people, and you've never had a relationship. Or sleeping with 30 people and none of them you knew the names to. Or sleeping with 30 people and all of them virgins.
Bottom line is they probably lie because you're a probable contender for that list to grow. They're just keeping your name under the call back file.
Don't think I'm a bitch for sayin this but,why do you care? I think it's tackless and alittle immature to ask someone you're dating how many partners they've had.If he volunteers that info fine but why fish for it. You sound alittle judgemental.And so what if the one girl lied maybe she's ashamed (and should be) of being easy. Bottom line people lie.I'm sure you've lied about something before and being as judgemental as you are, I'm sure thats part of the reason they felt the need to lie about it.
STD City
@mr_faust@xanga - Stop spamming you fucking idiot.
I one dont want to know, and If I do find out don't want to think about it pretty much not matter the number. The guy I just started dating, was with a friend of a friend and that was odd much less if I knew anyone else. He also has a kid though so it's not like he hasn't had sex, I just would never look for a brake down.
I once had a guy tell me he had had about 70+ that was just so unreal of a number I didn't even know what to think. I don't know, I guess it doesn't matter as long as they don't have anything and if it does come up, ( which I always hope it doesn't) then yeah honest is the bst way to go.
Why does a guy get crapped on for honing up to being a virgin by choice? Why is it so bad for the reason to be that he's waiting for a lady who waited for the same reason? If a woman wants a man who will never cheat, leave or put himself first, then why is the one who waited by choice the only one who never makes anyone's list? Why can't people date long enough to know their compatibility before getting physical? If anything more than sex matters, you need to put yourself out of reach of those who don't meet your standards before you can draw in the men who do; or else they will continue to seem like they don't exist.
I was with a guy once who lied to me about how many girls he's been with, but he said it was about three times MORE than what it really was. (I know because he told me the truth soon after.)
I didn't ask, he just offered it up. Neither number would have bothered me, but it really creeped me out that he lied about it.
I've found that the opposite sex isn't interested in knowing the actual number. They're expecting to hear a certain number and if your true number isn't in between that range, then you just have to lie a little bit. And that's just what I've found to be true :) For better or for worse.... *sigh*
As a recovering sex addict, I will say this: I've slept with lots of people. I do not think a number is irrelevant in my situation. Though all I can say for those who do and have lied about their experiences, it is hard sometimes t confess to someone you honestly care about. I am not saying that it is right thing to do but I am saying that it's hard. And this is coming from someone like me.
@MochaSprinkle@xanga - I completely agree with you
@Leitey@xanga - That u should not have shared, Your friend deff should be getting checked out at least every six months to a year because that is dangrous and i wouldnt be suprised if he got something like seriously, disgusting sorry to judge but that number is just way to high ::gag::
I know why people lie about it expecially if they are with someone who is really picky about that kind of stuff then i would understand to tell a little white lie, but i think instead of lying about it they should either tell there SO "hey i dont think thats important and i honestly rather not say it until im ready to" and the SO should respect that persons for at least saying that. but i would be pissed off to if my husband told me a lie about how many females he had slept with.
Im so greatful my husband only had a few partners. im not going to say the number but i can count on one hand is about how many females he slept with =)
my bf asked me i said truthfully 10 and he didnt believe me! i don't know if he thought it was higher or lower... but i would never think to lie cause ive never been ashamed of it.
@quicksandbuddy@xanga - let's go to herpes town!
People don't want assumptions to be made.
lessons learned from this post
1) do not discuss your sexual history with your friends.
2) tell your significant other the number you think he/she wants to hear. what differences does it make if she's slept with 5 or 10 guys? i'm not the pioneer here, so it doesn't matter to me at all!
i take that back. i'd rather be with someone who has had a least a few sexual partners. i strongly disagree with the notion of "saving oneself for marriage". sex is an exceptionally important part of a healthy relationship. as far as i'm concerned, it goes hand in hand with emotional bonds. how do you know if you're sexually compatible without some test runs? and how do you know what sort of predilections you may have in the sack if you haven't tested the waters a bit? i'm not advocating wanton promiscuity here...i'm just saying that responsible adults should not be ashamed of being human.