Thursday, 01 October 2009

• "You're The Only Blonde Bimbo For Me"

  So there was a Datingish post about romantic lines that you can use on your loved one or to snag a loved one. Maybe you saw it. Maybe you even saw my response to the question: "What is the most romantic line someone's ever used on you?"
  
  If you didn't, here was what I had to say "I think the sweetest thing my SO ever said to me was 'You're the only blonde bimbo for me, anyway.'"
  
  I know, it sounds awful. And, to top it off, when he said this he was dating another girl! I know. Oh, the scandal.
  
  I just want to explain something about what it's like to date your best friend. (Maybe to make him look like less of a jackass and maybe to explain why I'm such a weird girlfriend.)
  
  1) It's a relief.
  After dating around for years and hoping to find someone who can understand where you're coming from and communicate with you fearlessly, I found that person had been right next to me all along. If you're already best friends with someone, there's a good chance that you share a lot of values and dreams with them. I mean, you wouldn't hang out with a person and share secrets with them if you didn't like them, right? So once you start dating your bestie, the lines of communication are pretty much open and it's so easy to just be yourself--since that's who you always were in the first place!
  
  2) It's pretty gross.
  Remember in fifth grade when he showed you the gushing scrape on his knee? Remember in ninth grade when he popped his first zit in front of you? Remember a few months ago when he complained about his swamp ass?
  Yeah. You're dating him. Congrats. (I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you probably don't talk about poop as much as I do with my guy, but I think that's because he's in a family of doctors.) I should make it clear that just because you're now dating him and making face-babies or whatever doesn't mean that his gross boy-ness suddenly disappears. Nor does this mean that he suddenly forgets about how you complain about your cramps, and how you hate your boobs and how you wish you had She Who Shall Not Be Named's butt or how your mom's meatloaf makes you gassy. Nope. That's still there, suckah!
  
  3) It's all body language, baby.
  I realize this isn't always true, but once someone is your best friend, there's a lot that can be said without actually saying anything. You'd probably sat next to this person in class or in band or in the car for more than a few months, so you get them. You know what I mean-- you can tell that THAT sigh means exasperation whereas THAT sigh means sadness; when he makes THAT face it means he's bored with the conversation but THAT face means he's just being sarcastic; when he stands like THAT he's totally trying to look hot for that girl but when he stands like THAT he's trying to be ignored. Let me tell you, I spend most of my time with my SO in silence, just relaxing. W Somerset Maugham once said "Silence, too, is communication." Word, man.
  
  4) It's easier to be naked.
  I don't mean butt-naked, you filthy people. Well, I do, but not exclusively. Your best friend is your confidante and you've already emotionally bared yourself to them plenty of times. You don't have to be too worried about embarrassing yourself by getting too mushy (since your best friend has seen you at your mushiest, most likely). And, when you DO decide to get naked, they probably already know that you don't like your boobs or your butt or your arms or whatever so there's a good chance that
  1) they won't insult you,
  2) they will already have become adjusted to your hideousness,
  3) they will be SO shocked that you are infinitely sexier than you had lead them to believe.
  So, get naked--both ways! I can guarantee it will be easier with your bestie.
  5) It's just like dating any other person.
  Except you've skipped the part where you have to get to know each other and you have to meet the parents and explain that you hate their wardrobe. You still have all the responsibilities of dating someone: care for them, tell them what you're feeling, be supportive, don't let yourself get away with murder, be KIND (I forget that one), talk to them (I forget that one, too), and understand that people still change--even your BFFs. Your relationship won't be static just because you guys are best friends. Just like any other relationship, things may change and you may not be meant for each other any more, or you may have to make compromises that you hadn't anticipated. Get used to it! Nothing stays the same forever!
  
  I'll just end it at 5 since that's a pretty nice, round number. Remember, I'm a female and I'm dating my best male friend. So, rearrange genders as necessary.
  
  Have you ever dated your best friend? Is there anything you would add or change about this?
  

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