Wednesday, 30 September 2009

• We Men are Werewolves

  If TV On the Radio's "Wolf Like Me" or eels "Hombre Lobo" taught us anything, is that even if some girls want a man who are in moderation and much more on the romantic side, it helps to burst your bubble and say that we, men, are naturally werewolves.
  
  In the daytime, we will probably show some more respect to a woman, or joke with her. In the day, we like you. Maybe even love you. We are ready to face the day with you.But when the sun drops, we get borderline horny. We search for a neck to bite, and a hole to punch.
  
  Living upon personality and respect can really happen for so long,  till the truth is: internally, we really want to pump your azz full of gas. That's pretty much what it comes down to, when you strip all of the complicated crap away.  And when we can't get that out of the way, no complaint will stop a man from wanting to jack it off to Janet Jacme. After all, from experience, trying to hold in my sexual hunger makes being horny feel similar to Max Cohen's painful migraines in the movie Pi. It's like trying to fast for a day or two.

  The werewolf curse starts right when we were 13 or probably 11 years old, when we start to discover the purpose of our penis, and a glitch of what it was like to be minorly horny. But the first time it grew and our penises stood at attention, we didn't know why. Growing up, the fact pretty much remained that we were looking for a release. By then, we would have said we needed a cure or an explanation. Today, we, men, have all came to strong grips that as muc has we love you or whatever, we want an occasional moment to make it rain. Pull out the fire hose and start spraying, like our lives depended upon it.

  We aren't too fussy, when it comes to desire, and sometimes, all we want to do is erase the desire. Be done with it, so we can get on with our lives, wishing that the degree of horniness did not come to us during preteen years.

  The funny part about our attractions on Mancouch is that we know that a woman is beautiful, and they should be respected for their own merit, but the ability to make our drill sergeant stand at attention still remains, until we get older or get surgery.

  So, for some girls who aren't really sexually active as your man or those who lament men exactly for it, beware. Some men have libido that can split your body in two, if you let him. It's all in his approach. And the only way you will be safe from all of that is if we men have animal sex with each other. To quote Chris Pontius, "if a bear is hungry, he'll eat".

  Take precaution. Make sure you have some protection. You have been warned.

  Men, do you agree? Are you all werewolves?
  

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