The other night, I was out at a bar with a girl I like "Amy" her friend "Katie" and some of their friends. There were about 7 or 8 people sitting at the table talking. Two of these friends are a couple, and they seemed cool, "Brad" and "Karen". Amy, Katie, and I were leaving to go get some food. I said goodbye to all the friends, "nice to meet you", and all that. Karen had really pretty eyes, and I told her so as I was leaving. Just a compliment in passing- the same way someone had complimented me on my shirt earlier in the night.
We go next door for pizza, and Brad sends Amy a text message "tell your friend that he has pretty eyes". I'm a little confused by this, and Amy and Katie are freaking out, telling me that I shouldn't have said anything to Karen. Apparently Brad, who seemed cool 2 minutes ago, now wants to kick my ass for "hitting on his girlfriend".
We ended up going back and talking to him, and he put his arm around me, and informed me that he's been to jail before for beating up other guys who have hit on his girlfriend. Apparently, saying something nice to someone else's girlfriend is not okay.
So, I'm the type of guy who, when I see something I like, I make it known. I wasn't hitting on his girlfriend. I mean, I was leaving, and I'll probably never see either one of them again. Plus, I was out with a girl that I like. I feel like a compliment can make someone's day, and that society is generally unfriendly, and needs more of that. If I see a girl with pretty eyes, I'll say so. If I see a guy with a nice shirt, I'll tell him that I like his shirt.
Am I wrong in doing this? Are compliments automatically assumed to be hitting on someone? By Brad's logic, if I see a kid with a Transformers shirt, and I tell the kid they have a cool shirt, I must be a pedophile. That seems really weird to me.
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How silly.
Compliments are compliments. End of story.
Thanks for advocating friendliness. =]His tough guy bullshit suggests to me that he is wildly insecure about his relationship and probably has never sexually satisfied a woman.
No. Some are, some aren't. It's picking up on which are which that makes or doesn't make all the "drama" that goes on about it.
And... yeah. Insecure guy right there.
I think he's a little insecure.
Wow, talk about crazy!~ Yeah, I don't think it'd be a good idea to hang out with either one of them again... Sometimes being friendly is mistaken for being flirtacious, and I've definitely had those weird moments where I unintentionally attract guys just from being friendly.
After that happened with a guy I was mentoring at the college, I just decided I was better off hanging out with girls and gay guys to avoid that ackwardness altogether. When my bf and I went out on our first date, this little boy wouldn't stop staring at me (more specifically, my chest). I didn't say or do anything to warrant his attention. My bf noticed, thought it was funny a kid would do something like that (we nicknamed him "mini-pimp" lol) and jokingly said that he'd "protect me from the staring by standing in front of me."
nah. it needs to be accompanied by some other action for it to be interpreted as anything but a compliment.
Some people are totally ridiculous. Whether I get complimented in front of my childish, overprotective husband or not, that's all it is to me and I enjoy being complimented. The boyfriends or husbands should take it as a compliment themselves because someone else noticed something pretty about the woman they can call theirs... .If that makes sense. O.o
That is what is utterly wrong with this world, people mistake kindness for something else. The world is in a very sad place, it's sad that you can't be nice to someone because he or she might get offended by it. People complain all the time, about everything and if they don't have something to complain about, he or she will find something to complain about it. I do like the fact that your intentions were pure and meant well. There should be more people like you, in this world.
There must be a lot of lesbians and stuff at school then... ahaha but seriously though, how stupid is that. Unless they make it blatantly obvious that they're interested or you know for a fact that they like you, then yeah, MAYBE they're hitting on you. But if you're just saying it to be nice and honest, usually it's easy to tell. Or at least I can !
Just the mind of an overly jealous, insecure boyfriend, I suppose.Â
he's probably never gotten any.
no i think you're ok with giving compliments. i don't necessarily think every guy who compliments me is hitting on me. and you are right...girls do feel good when they get one.
Sounds like Brad is a bit insecure. lol
lol i'd have told him that i'm ready to throw down whenever he is. i don't take that kind of bullshit from anyone.
also, if it wasn't already clear from the other comments, you didn't do anything wrong.
@LeMepris@xanga - Exactly 100% accurate!
He just sounds like a really insecure guy. I don't think that every compliment is a sign of a guy hitting on me, and I usually don't mind even if it is. It's flattering.
hahaha.. by that logic seriously! do i like old guys if i tell them that they are really cool for their ages? no... XD but i guess the approach also affects how it's taken. "you have really pretty eyes, i could get lost in them..." vs. "you have awesome eyes! they're like the color of quiksilver, from fantastic four!" the latter sounds more platonic.Â
andomgihopequiksilverwasfromfantasticfour. i couldn't remember but i thought he was in x-men  at first
there's nothing wrong about giving compliments to others.It feels nice to a girl if guys compliment them.The boyfriend is way too defensive.imao
That dude was a douchebag. You're not wrong for complimenting the girl. Girls like compliments. And some guys, like Brad, obviously don't like that. What if you had complimented him saying, "You're a nice person" (before he got all incredible hulk on you) would that have meant you were hitting on him? He probably would think that! geez. lol And i do the same, I like to give compliments. but sometimes i'm too scared to say i like something a guy is wearing cos, of course, it might sound like a pick up line! haha.
i think for girls, compliments are compliments unless it's directed in a more forward take, like @snapeful@xanga - was saying. for example: "I like your jeans. Where'd you get them?" versus "i like your jeans. I can see myself in them" type stuff.
There need to be more people like you in the world, sir.
There was nothing wrong with what you did. That guy simply overreacted.i don't think a compliment necessarily means you're hitting on that person. it's just complimenting them. i would never take it as someone was hitting on me.
people are so touchy. ugh.
i would have to have heard your tone and exact words in saying your friend karen had pretty eyes, but from the way it sounds, you didn't do anything wrong, it's not you told her she had sexy bedroom eyes or something. guys are superrr protective of their girlfriends, and it goes to far sometimes.
If another guy compliments me while I'm with my significant other, props to him. Besides, it will make my day also. An innocent compliment or gesture can really uplift someone's spirit.. anyday!
We need more of that in the world!
brad was just insecure and over-reacting