And hey sweetie, Well I need you here tonight, And I know that you don't wanna be leaving me Yeah, you want it, but I can't help it, I just feel complete when you're by my side.- If It Means A Lot To You, A Day To Remember 
For the record, long distance relationships are not for the emotionally needy. It takes a lot, especially when you take in the fact that you both have your own lives to live. This means no phone calls every night on the dot, no texting each other constantly throughout the day, and sometimes days with just a single text, if you get one at all. This means accepting the fact that he's busy with college, and that he can't be at your beck-and-call. Not that you would ever require that of him. That would just be too needy.
No, it means appreciating a good thing when you see it, even if you don't see it nearly enough. It means that you relish every moment of communication you have with him, because something about this boy just makes your heart go crazy. It means being supportive of him, because he's aiming for a good life and if working hard is what it takes, then so be it. If you lose out a little on the communication end, it doesn't matter. You want him to have a good life. You want him to be happy. You love him and he loves you, and you can take pride in knowing that when he does talk to you, it's because he wants to, not because you're forcing him to. So far you've been lucky enough that he tries to have a conversation with you most nights, but some nights he's overwhelmed with schoolwork, and you understand that schoolwork comes before the girlfriend.
You deal with it, because you know you'd rather have him, even if it means long distance, over any other guy down the street.
What things do you willingly give up to maintain your LDR?
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Comments (53)
Anything.
Every.
Thing.
I love him that much.
Great post by the way.
I gave up everything and lost it all..
I would have done anything to be in a long distance relationship with this guy...I knew his worth and knew that I would have chosen to see him once a year than anyone else 7 days a week. I just forgot that guys are needy and prefer having a girl by their side, ANY girl sometimes (even if they love someone else). I just hate thinking that he is the one that got away, that we never had a chance to grow together. I hate even the fact that he told me that gfs come and go but the appreciation he feels for me is beyond that. Bah. Some people just can't handle the distance, no matter how amazing the person they love is. So they run away from hardship. Sometimes I guess it's better to not be with someone like that, better to preserve what you have than to ruin it.
To answer the question...I would have given up anything to have him in my life. It was really enough for me to have him there to talk to.
The question aside, I think this a post that everyone who is considering being in an LDR should read. I'm not in an LDR at the moment so I can't really answer the question proposed.
I was willing to give up so much for an LDR with my ex. I thought "we" were worth it, but apparently he did not. So he broke up with me to avoid an LDR.
I've been in one before and all I can say is... you learn to cherish the words "how have you been doing lately?" or "I miss you so much" or my fav "I was thinking about you." These are the words and phrases that can make your heart grow fonder in a long distance relationship. It can make you appreciate things on an entirely different level.
I gave up some "me" time amongst other things... just so I could hear that phone call or have some sort f sign that the other person cares for me.
I willingly gave up almost everything for my previous LDR, only to be dicked over. You see, the problem with some guys (like my ex) is that they could have all the time in the world to respond, and if they're major dickheads, they just won't. This leaves you hanging, emotionally stretched to your limit.
The long-distance relationship I had was horrible. It went well for a while, but after that I had to beg for texts with more than one word and phone calls basically became a rarity. He was too lazy---in fact, when I ever got him to call, he'd put me on speaker phone and talk to his friends while I poured my heart out or played video games. He had plenty of time at night from 7pm on, because he didn't go to school....but no, it was way too difficult to call. He stopped texting me by the end and that's when I knew it was over.
You give up a lot in long-distance relationships for nothing. But that's just my opinion...I've had bad experiences and I guess I shouldn't go on that. I'm content now :3
@InTheThin@xanga - I feel you, girl.
We've both given up a lot. It's hard but you get over it. It's just made me start focusing on what the relationship really means to me in order to deal with what we're going through.
hey, this is a wonderful article. I gave up being able to see my boyfriend everyday to once every three to four months now. It's extremely difficult, but we talk to each other everyday and always call each other to say goodnight. I have his pictures nearby, wherever I go. We constantly remind each other that we miss each other. We have been dating for three years now and we trust each other deeply. I know his past and if he was someone who was unfaithful to his past gf then I couldn't do the LDR. In my heart I know he cares about me a lot and he's out where he is because of graduate school. I don't believe LDRs are for everyone, though.
Nothing because i won't have it. There is no point to an LDR. Everyone i know with the exception of one couple has went up in FLAMES! I like dropping in with beautiful gifts and surprises. It's hard to do that a state away.
I was in a LDR for 4 yrs. The experience was worth it, but there are alot of hurts and misunderstanding at times when communication is bad. Calling everyday, texting everyday... anything to improve the communication will help the relationship alot. LDRs are not for everyone, but for those couples who survive, it strengthens the relationship by multitudes because the amount of trust and love needed is just over the top. I wouldn't do it again though.
I give up essentially all communication for the next month, which I hate and am not doing willingly, then for those last three sweet months I talk to him once a week for 45 minutes, usually with the line cutting out at least twice per convo. No texts, no calls under a few thousand rupees, nothing. I hate that he is in India now more than anything. 6 months seems like nothing but it is when I can't talk...
I've done a couple long distance relationships. My relationship with my son's father, my relationship with the now-hubby, and oen or two besides. Things I gave up? Sleep... a lot of sleep... time out with friends or co-workers, and money (to cover the calls and such when I otherwise could've lived with a bare minimum phone plan, lol).
LDR are extremely difficult and yet... for someone who is used to be "in charge of it all" it was a good way to get used to being in an actual relationship after my son's father and I split. Hubby and I had been friends for a long time, mostly long distance on that too. Even after we got together and he left for deployment, we were still doing the LDR thing. I missed my friends due to my time constraints, but I lived for those few possible moments of talk time with my hubby if the connection was good.
@missedout_onlife@xanga - I know exactly what you mean! That happened to me this summer, I was moving away and he said the exact same thing to me! I feel the same way that you do as well. It's awful
I agree that LDRs aren't for everyone but you have to at least try it in order for you to know whether or not they are worth while. You have to give up whatever your significant other is willing to give up and that's usually the hard thing. I, on the hand, have done this and gave up so much and it ended up working fine. We almost appreciated our time together a lot more and it was great. Would I do a LDR again? Absolutely. You learn to give up time with your friends to wait for that weekly or monthly phone call, or webcam conversation. I think that communication is a must-have in these types of relationships.
I couldn't do a LDR, I like to cuddle too much ;P
<3
Everything. Absolutely everything.
I gave up everything. But what do they give?
I gave everything in my long distance relationship :]
10 months in highschool and two days after we broke up he had a new girl.
They don't work.
@wizard_howl@xanga - Exactly x_x
Kisses, hugs, holding hands, and the sweetest shoulder to cry on...
(on the other hand, I probably get more studying done not having him physically here all the time)
@MistletoeLove - They don't give much. But I feel like our relationship will be so much stronger for it, when we think about how we will have spent four years spent developing the non-physical aspects of our love.
AtLeastWereStillAlive@xanga - That's dumb, guys move on so much faster for some reason and it hurts :( Same kinda thing happened to me but the guy was using me to pass the time til his other "girl" was more available...so it took them no time at all to get together. -.-
aww .
I agree with the others, anything and everything. sometimes you lose it all and then sometimes you gain everything. being in an ldr isn't so bad because you have some freedom but when you need that person close at times and they're not there, you just have to suck it up and be strong.