So the other night I was hanging out with a girl. It was our first night and the evening went really well. There was no dead air at all and we had plenty to talk about.
At one point we came to the subject of drama. She told me a story or two about some bad stuff that happened with some of her female friends, and so I had mentioned something about how girls have told me various things about members of their gender.
I've had girls tell me that girls are "crazy". I've also had girls tell me that girls love drama. I feel that this is newsworthy since this is girls talking about girls, not guys badmouthing girls which is what you might expect from a guy anyway.
So I brought this up to my friend the other night and I asked her for her two cents on what her feelings towards her gender as a collective were. When she agreed with the assessment that some of my other female friends have made, I asked her to go into detail as to why girls seem to love and even crave drama, or why girls act "crazy".
So then my friend told me something that made my eyes widen. She told me that girls act that way because a lot of it has to do with wanting or needing attention.
I couldn't believe it. On one hand it made sense to me. On the other hand, it struck me immediately that this is an incredibly unhealthy way to live your life. Not only does drama affect your own well-being, but it adversely affects the relationships you have with other people. It also negatively affects their health as well.
I'm not saying that people or couples should never fight. A fight can be a good thing if it's about something important or meaningful. A quarrel can bring people closer together provided that they're able to resolve their issues.
I'm at a point in my life where I have a lot going on and I always have a lot on my mind. I just want to minimize the drama in my life. I've always been a laid back guy and I simply don't need a headache on heels. I don't have to be single, but I choose to be because I don't believe in rushing into something just because someone's available and they're interested in me. I have to feel like they're the right person for me.
But then I keep hearing girls telling me things similar to what I mentioned above and it kinda makes me think twice about getting into a relationship, especially since I have a lot on my plate these days. A relationship would be nice, but not at the expense of my own daily stress level. Of course I know there is no such thing as a relationship without stress, but do the above descriptions of female behavior describe the minority or the majority of the gender?
So I'm asking for a couple of things here. Firstly, why do girls keep telling me that girls are crazy, dramatic, petty, etc. Is it really true? Since I know that most of the readership on this site is female, I'd like to hear the take of the readers. Secondly, is my friend correct that girls purposely seek drama/conflict because they want or need attention? These ideas are kinda spooky to me as a guy, and I need someone to reassure me that not all/most girls are this nuts like my friend is suggesting.
So I'm asking for a couple of things here. Firstly, why do girls keep telling me that girls are crazy, dramatic, petty, etc. Is it really true? Since I know that most of the readership on this site is female, I'd like to hear the take of the readers. Secondly, is my friend correct that girls purposely seek drama/conflict because they want or need attention? These ideas are kinda spooky to me as a guy, and I need someone to reassure me that not all/most girls are this nuts like my friend is suggesting.
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Comments (70)
Because we love chocolate, PMS, and only think with our emotions.
And we can't do any hard labor or our vaginas will fall out.
We are so sensitive we are just like one big giant clit. It makes us moody.
Some girls are 'crazy', others not so much. Depends on who you associate yourself with.
Not ALL girls crave/love drama. The majority that do want it for attention yes. I wont lie, I get emotional but not to points where I cause scenes or start acting drastic. Most of that behavior stems from the home & they got away with it.
I think it's stupid to cause drama, or call it like it is: problems, because you can get in over your head & end up in trouble. All for attention too? When you do need help one day, people will write you off as a drama queen & not help. And to me, if you feel the need to CAUSE problems to get closer to someone, it's not worth it to deal with that person.
@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - My sarcasm meter just exploded.
I have nothing constructive to add. I feel like the post answered it's own ending questions.
yes, some girls are messy, bitchy, drama lovers, but it's not the whole female population. and if you do get into a relationship with a girl who turns out to be a drama queen (usually very easy to spot right off the bat, anyways), then just break it off.
Also, some girls don't do it just for attention, but simply because they find life "boring". -____-
I never understood the need for drama myself. I don't know if it's restricted to females, but all I know is, all of my best friends are male and I never have any drama in my life. Unless some girl butts in, of course.
For one, it's entertaining to talk about other people but yourself to your group of gossipers. Some may feel the wanted or needed that way. Others may just feel "threaten" by whomever they are speaking of and feels better about themselves if others agreed with them.
To me, drama is a waste of time. I stay away from it. It's not good for anyone unless they just like the thrill and tension from it.
Drama is for high school!
"headaches on heels" <-- LOL. that was a good one. kudos!
Drama's pointless. Some girls create it because they have nothing better to do, but it's not always about wanting attention.
lol. and this is why (amongst other reasons) i've never met a girl whom i've considered to have her head screwed on straight.
Women will always test you with drama, they cannot do otherwise. There is nothing wrong with that because they do it for a specific reason.
Women are mild when it comes to drama. You should try dating a drag queen on estrogen, Holy Fucking Cannoli Batman!!!
@m0leymol3y@xanga -
lol
Girls are crazy, dramatic and petty. Not all of them, by any means, and depending, it probably isn't even most of them. I'll tell you this, though, if Girl A is telling you that Girl B is crazy, dramatic, petty, etc., I wouldn't believe her unless I knew Girl A really well. Because that's another thing about girls.
As to the drama, yeah, they do create it. I had a 'friend' (I didn't really consider her one) who contacted me every few months, just to pick a fight with me. And y'know, I didn't appreciate that, so I gave her her fight (and won!) and she quit talking to me until the next time. I got to the point though that I just couldn't put up with her drama and the little bits of it I encountered in daily life, it stressed me out, so I just broke things off completely.
Not all girls are nuts. But a good number of them are (and I could also add that a good number of guys are nuts, also). You've got to be cautious and watch for warning signs. They're scary creatures.
hahaha i just blogged about this a few weeks ago too about this girl who im having some issues with....i think you should read it. She's gone off to college and ever since then my life has been drama free and Ive been at peace with my boyfriend. I feel like this girl brings all the drama because she's the type that wants all the attention, feels the need to show off to the world shes better than me and says what better things shes going to do next, plays the damsel in distress and alway asking my bf to save her.
Girls can definitely be crazy and prone to drama, but not always for the purpose of gaining attention...
Lately, I've created some drama in my life. How? I posted something on facebook trying to get some advice about a situation between me and my ex that I had begun to see again. Most of my friends were supportive and gave me ideas, but my "mutual" friends between me and this guy were pointing the fingers at me as if I were to blame for the whole situation. I never asked for this kind of drama! I just wanted some help! My ex was being difficult bc he was ignoring me for 6 days straight bc I caught HIM in a lie. I just wanted to know what a girl should do in such a situation (dump the asshole). Unfortunately, it was just a headache and I regret ever asking for advice on facebook (so much for believing in love).
Then there are girls who create drama not for attention but bc they enjoy ruining people's lives. I know of such girls. These are the girls that are my ex's friends. They like to leave hateful voicemail messages to people they don't like. They would say things like "Go kill yourself bc no one wants to have sex with a roast beef vagina!" These girls are surprisingly in their early 20s. The one girl even came on to my ex, who was at the time my boyfriend, and took advantage of him while he was drunk. This caused a slew of drama between me and her, me and him, and her and him. Sounds like fun, right? ::rolls eyes::
Honestly, I've never had drama with people my age until I got into dating. Unfortunately, I don't think it's possible to be in a relationship without drama because someone OUTSIDE of the relationship is destined to start it if the people inside of it were originally happy. It's a very sad cycle.
@pouttwistsing@xanga - i agree with you
Not ALL crae for attention. Sometimes, we just cant control it. Blame the hormones I guess. Plus, guys have this weird self preservation thingy which create a bigger drama. Yet, nobody complains about it.
yes, 'tis true. girls are dramatic. even if they don't manifest this side in high school, by the time they get to college... CAT FIGHT!
yeah...a lot of girls seem to like drama or either way cause it...i'm a girl and I don't put up with unnecessary things and kinda just walk away. I just won't discuss nonsense. haha plus a lot of my friends tend to be guys...so that probably helps a bit.
While I do know a lot of girls who feed off drama, it's too much of a generalization to say that all of us love creating it and that we're all attention whores. I believe it's more of a personality thing than a gender thing. There are people who enjoy confronting others, imposing their opinions on everyone, and basically just getting into people's faces, and they do it purely because they love having that excitement in their lives. But there are many of us who avoid all confrontational situations at all costs and would rather keep our mouths shut than stir up the pot of trouble. It's all about who you meet! But there is no doubt in this: drama happens, whether or not you want it to.
GIRLS love unneccessary drama. women know how to finish it (and don't blame every action and thought they perform and have on pms).
All people are prone to loving drama, this isn't just true of women. I've noticed, especially from my friends, that both the guys and gals can be dramatic. Oh, God, especially when it comes to relationships which just annoys me to no end because I just don't care enough about relationships to muster any sympathy. (Also, it isn't unusual for women to make sexist or generalizing statements towards their own gender so your friend generalizing nearly half the population group of which she is apart of isn't anything to be freaked out over. It's more concerning and sad really.) I really do not believe that this whole attribution of women liking drama is because of attention whoring either. More like girls being socialized to not be physically aggressive, so they have to resort to emotional aggression which is where a lot of drama stems from.
wow. stereotype, much?
I was in a class of 25 hairstylists in training for 2 years.
I've never seen more gossip or drama in my life.
Most of the girls would do anything to cause drama, and they did it by talking shit about each other.
because it made them feel better about themselves.
or important because they knew something other people didn't.
it was really annoying. haha
Because life is BORING. And drama makes it, well.. less boring.
Also.. ITS FUN!
As long as you stay mentally sane in all of this (: