Thursday, 24 September 2009
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I Want You To Want Me!
So earlier tonight I was hanging out with my three roommates. We are all currently single and have all been single for over a year, with the exception of a few flings here and there. We were talking about our most recent crushes, or lack thereof, when one of my roomies said the one thing that is on almost every straight, single girl's mind: "I just want a guy to want me."
It sounds pathetic doesn't it? But I fall victim to this state of mind also. It's not that I don't have any self-esteem. I am content with my looks, personality, intelligence, success, etc. yet when I'm alone in bed at night I still long for that person to cuddle with, talk to on the phone, or just to know that someone else out there is thinking of me before they go to sleep.
Why do you think it is that we feel the need to be needed by the opposite sex so badly? Do you think it is true that people in relationships are generally happier than single people because of this reason?
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About the Author
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- From: meowmeow
- Name: meowmeow
- About Me: 20 yr old college student.
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Comments (175)
This is the foundation that other things stem from...ie) "I want you to want to be with me, not with me because you can or because it fills your void." I've heard things like this come out of my mouth, from others around me and yes, even from men who are none fitting the stereotype of an "insecure" person. I don't think it's a lack of security in oneself that you feel this way; wanting to be wanted by someone, it just means you're lonesome and would like someone to actively seek your company instead of fill their space with your body because they just want to avoid being alone.
Attempting to avoid sounding like a cliche fountain, I'm just going to advice to not let this desire of being "wanted by someone" influence and sway your judgment too much. That's when you start agreeing to things you wouldn't normally do and behaving in ways that confuse people. G'luck
I think it's fairly natural to want to be needed by another human being.
Actually, people who have sex are happy, regardless of how wanted they feel (but that helps too). Feeling wanted is a natural urge for most everyone.
I'm single and I'm just as happy now as I was a few months ago when I was in a relationship; just a different kind of happy.
i dont think its about being needed. for me at the end of the day i just want an escape, to feel safe to feel love after a hectic day in school. i just want to drop evrything and just have a connection with someone to ease my mind
We all want to be wanted. :)
I remember I was having a problem about just this a couple weeks ago. A guy here on xanga actually said I was a needy bitch because of it. :/
its always nice to be wanted. because then you mean something to someone. not to mention it's a nice self esteem booster.
Some people need to be needed by the same sex.
Letters to Cleo sang that song!! (Meaning the title of the post. It's also a song. lol). I know it was a cover but I know they sang the song in 10 Things I hate about you. Awesome movie!
Anyway, I have an ex-friend who ruined 2 guys lives because she just didnt want to be alone & went back & forth with them & ended up alone anyway. Then she would start getting flaky with me by making plans & canceling them because "she was depressed" & what not. Then when I called her out on it, she called ME a bitch & stopped talking to me. Like I miss her attitude...ha.
My mom said it best, "You'll never be happy with anyone if you're not happy with yourself". Otherwise you end up smothering other people & end up alone. It IS natural to want to be with someone, but it should be out of LOVE, not NEED or fear.
I know how you feel.
I wouldnt say people in relationships are happier because being single and attached have pros and cons.
But we probably have the "wanted by the opposite sex" feelings because we want to be adored by someone else besides our girlfriends.
Someone to swoon us with flowers and chocolate, someone who can give us piggyback rides when our feet are tired from wearing heels and the list is extensive.
I think it's about feeling important to someone else. I don't think it's pathetic, I think that's being honest about wanting someone important in your life.
@zxzeebrastar@xanga - That's a good way to put it; "a different kind of happy". You don't necessarily need it, but it's nice, I guess.
i didnt use to think this way when i was single, but now that i have a guy it makes sense.
but that's what we have pets for ^^
@kaos_calle@xanga - unfortunately, i don't have a pet yet.
My last entry ended with a note something like that. I would like to have a dog. I like the idea of someone (well, something in that case) always being happy to see me when I walk in, who will wag his little doggy tail and look up at me with adoring eyes... even if it is only because he wants food. It's a small price to pay for getting to pet and snuggle with him.
Varies from person to person, generally...yup, more secure in supplying your needs.
And that is an awesome pillow.
I feel strongly about the title and the post, and I'll agree. I love feeling wanted, whether it be emotional, sexual, academic, social, or otherwise.
Agreeeeee
Humans desire companionship. Not just friendly, but of the significant caliber.
Careful...not everyone who "wants" you actually wants YOU. Know what I mean?
But I get what you're saying. And you are definitely not alone in this.
we all just want to be loved and wanted and have someone think of us and care for us like others. i don't necessarily think people in relationships are happier but they have less to care about because they already have some to be with them.
I just want to be wanted by someone I want, if it makes sense.
i dont think theres anything wrong with being wanted. the most amazing feeling is when someone wants you as badly as you want them = )
on the other hand, i hate the games that girls play. if you like a guy, talk to him. don't make him jump through all these rings of fire to get you to spend time with him. that turns a lot of guys off, and guys are historically bad at reading signals and hints. why? because we're not mind readers.
the best way to communicate to a guy is to be upfront and obvious about what you want. i promise you that you'll do much better in the world of dating if you do what i'm suggesting.
most girls ARE wanted by guys.
they're just not the right guys,
they're the creepy ones that snort when they laugh and have long hairs growing from their nostrils.
I totally think this sometimes. I have my thoughts on it, but the bottom line is a lot of times who try to fill this need in us aren't the right kinds of guys.
*sigh* I totally understand. I don't know what it is, but I desperately want to feel wanted. And I don't always necessarily want the guy! Its a nice feeling. And not even necessarily romantically. Its nice to be wanted as a best friend, too.