In the three year relationship I've been in I've had the occasional fights over serious or stupid things, every couple has gone through it. My SO knows me too well when we come to fights that I usually don't back down, and neither does he but sometimes there were these certain things that he'd do that would make the fight escalate to a wild fire, and no doubt I probably did things to him that made him want to smash things and throw my stuff out the window (yea the video of Enrique Inglesias and Ciara "Taking Back My Love" is so our video when it comes to fighting).
But anyways, my SO and I now think back on our early fights and laugh at it because we barely fight and if we do we know how to stop it before it goes to oblivion and chaos. So I was sitting with some friends of mine, and I brought this question up, "Is there any actions, sentences, or words that just make you get even angrier at your SO when you're fighting with each other?" And funny enough everyone said "HECK YEA!" So I made a list of the words and actions my friends said tick them off especially in a fight, I've also included my own as well,
I wrote every word verbatim from my friends for this: 1.
"Well I disagree with your disagreement." My guy friend let's call him "Max" told me this one. Him and his girlfriend had gotten into an argument about her hanging out really late with some of her guy friends, and not like football parties or anything more like she'd sit in their lap and dance on them kinda thing. During the fight when he was trying to get his point across as calmly as he could she said "Well sorry to say but I disagree with your disagreement." In his POV, when she said that to him he felt like she wasn't trying to listen to his reasons, and saying that line to him made him blow up. And this came straight from his mouth, "I would never say that to anyone, in all honesty it sounds disrespectful, other people like you might have a different view about that saying, but in my POV if you say that to me or another person who feels the same way I do, prepare for hell."
2. "
Whatever." A girlfriend of mine, let's call her "Sarah" hates when her SO and her will fight and when he finally let's her say what she needs to point out, she hates it when he just says "Whatever," to her so flatly and turn the cold shoulder. She had gotten into a fight with him over housework and that he was not doing anything to help keep their apartment clean, they fought and made angry gestures until finally when her boyfriend knew that she had a really good point about what the argument, he looks at her coldly and says, "Whatever."
Sarah: "Oh lord, that word gets me pissed off every time, I mean who doesn't get mad when someone says that! Like whenever he says that word, it makes me feel like he wasn't even listening to a word I said, and then here we go again on the damn merry-go-round."
3.
Silence. Okay this one's mine, back about 1 year ago my boyfriend and I were having some problems and whenever I'd try to state my opinion he'd just look the other way and stay silent, he wouldn't say a word all he'd do was just either give me a cold stare, play a computer game, or go to bed. I mean WTF?! Seriously he knows it ticks me off when he doesn't at least say one thing, it drives me crazy when he just stares at me like an idiot when there's a point to my argument. Either way he knows not to do it anymore, and I know how not to push his buttons either.
4.
Walk away mid-through argument. Let's call my guy friend "Ace," now Ace and his girl have been together for 5 years, and they are getting married next year, but they weren't always the happiest couple in the world, Ace told me that when him and his fiancee would have fights, his fiancee would throw her hands up in the air and walk away and not say a thing. Now I can understand her point of view, she's angry and so is he, but no one should walk away from a fight.
Ace: "I mean when she used to do that, I got even more pissed off, I swear after she'd pull that kinda sh** I would blow up her phone and tell her she'd could of at least said something before storming out like that."
So do you gals/guys have certain words, phrases, and actions that tick you off with your SO? If so do tell, what makes you mad?
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Comments (35)
Lol, my SO hates when I'm like, "It's fine", or "whatever". because he knows it ISN'T fine and it's NOT whatever, haha.
I usually remain completely silent during most of the fight, because at a certain point I know if I talk I'm going to say something so mean it will end the relationship. He gets mad because I'm quiet but if he knew the alternative I'm sure he would be very appriciative lol.
The one thing that will get me madder than anything is being called the B word. Or hearing anyone called it. I absolutely hate that word more than any other word ever invented.
I usually stop talking after a while. I'm not into fights so I try to get out of them quickly. Especially if it's over something really stupid.
Number one is definitely "whatever"
My boyfriend hates it when I say, "Whatever," "Uh huh," and "Sure."
'whatever' is the ultimate devastating response during a fight
Flowers are the best remedy after a fight. :)
Roses or Lilies.
Saying "...well that's your opinion."
I hate "whatever"
i just hate sarcastic comments.
I can't remember the last time I fought, but I always dislike being told "calm down" or "chill out" especially if you're one speaking louder than me and I haven't even completed two sentences in a normal voice...this tells me you just don't want to hear it period
"Whatever" is the most annoying word I've ever heard. I HATE it.
learn to make constructive arguments; destructive arguments are so dangerous that they hurt people and eventually leading to relationship dismissals...
Although me and my boyfriend never have had any real fights, just mild disagreements about things that Don't really matter, I have to agree with the majority. "Whatever" is a horrible word to be used in a fight. To me, it feels like they don't care about what you are saying. However, me and my boyfriend are both guilty of saying "Whatever". XD
OMG, an ex of mine used "whatever" and that would totally piss me off.
Another one that drives me nuts is "I don't know"... come on, if we're arguing you must have an opinion.
1. "You're being irrational." Or, just as good, "I don't understand why you have to flip out like this over stupid things." Well, to me, I'm NOT "flipping out" and they're NOT "stupid" (or insignificant, or minor, or trivial). Saying that is the #1 way to make me blow the roof.
2. "Well, I'm sorry!" Don't use this as an excuse to avoid the issue at hand. If you're not truly apologetic, don't cheapen these words by throwing them at me in that tone of voice.
3. "You're the one with the problem". No, sweetheart, it's OUR problem. WE need to figure this out. Together.
The leaving and the silence things are basically synonymous in my book. But being told I'm being irrational makes me want to throttle my boyfriend.
i hated "yeah, i understand...but"..
MAN that drove me insane.
you clearly DIDN'T understand if we're still raging at each other! :)
we haven't had a lot of fights yet..... i am sure we will though. i mean, we have discussed some bothersome things, but usually only over IM and he might take a while to respond (which does drive me insane, but, my fault for trying to raise serious issues over the internet.) usually in these instances he'll call me the next day and we'll discuss things rationally, then get over it.
however, we dont live together yet or anything, so i know we haven't had the earth-shaking battles yet: i can take him. lol
@MilkyWhitesezMoo@xanga - oh als, he lives like an hour away, hence all the over-technology-ness
"Whatever." "Mhm." "I understand." "*silence*".
I'm trying to get something out of you and I'm not talking just because I feel like it. Could you be a little more responsive..Please?
X___X"
i hate the sarcastic responses.
and the responses like "yeah i ALWAYS fuck up EVERYTHING"...anything with a "never" or "always" kind of wording.
it's okay to walk away from a fight if you need to take a breather and calm down and if you have a plan together about finishing the convo. when my boyfriend and i get too worked up about something, we both agree to just talk about it when we get home, or after we chill out for a few minutes at least. when we're angry it's so easy to just say things that we really don't mean and just make things worse.
i don't like when i get the silent treatment. i'd rather be told "i'm too angry to do this right now" so at least i know what's going on.
i will not have fights through written text; e-mail, IM or texting. absolutely will not. and it annoys me when other people do it and it makes things worse. my boyfriend and i have been dating since December and have not once had a written fight. If it's important enough to discuss, it's important enough to discuss properly.
I hate when i state my argument, then ask the SO, "what're you thinking?" and he responds with "nothing."
NOTHING?! How can you be thinking nothing?? Does anything I say matter at all?
Yeah, that completely pisses me off.
referring to the comment above: or instead of saying nothing he says "i dunno". and then STILL doesn't talk. yeah, that really shows you care.
"You win."
First of all, it's not a win/lose situation. Second, he'd rather admit (or fake) defeat than genuinely resolve our problems.
"I already know what you're going to say."
His way of saying, STFU!
"I'm the worst boyfriend ever..."
Ughhhh, get out of the pity party already.
haha don't we all? THe whatever defintely ticks me off