I was thinking about it yesterday while going over a few old Xangas and Datingish articles, and I saw how a few people considered people they were with for a week a
boyfriend.
I mean, how do you know? Do you go on a certain number of dates, then you call them your boyfriend? Do you have a specific day and then call them your boyfriend? To me, it seems weird to call somebody your boyfriend/girlfriend if you've only been together for so long.
I was 'with' this guy for two days. Still, at that moment and to this day, I don't consider him my ex-boyfriend.
I mean, maybe an ex in a certain way... but not an official boyfriend. My official boyfriend as of right now has been my boyfriend for 8+ months. We go by a date, which is the day he asked me out (January 8, 2009) to
be his committed girlfriend.
It just sort of bothered me how people can be 'together' or 'seeing each other' for a few days and consider them their girlfriend/boyfriend. I think it needs to be proven to be a real significant other, and it takes time. Learn to trust and learn about each other, learn to be yourself.
I think you can consider somebody and call them your official significant other *after* two weeks. Two weeks is more than one, but less than a month.
What do you think...? Do you wait until after a few dates and in between then consider it 'seeing each other'? Or am I just weird for being a little bothered by people who do this? (Or are they just clingy?)
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Comments (41)
Um, usually a guy will ask you to be his girlfriend and then it's official if you say yes, regardless of how long you've been going out. Not, "we've gone on three dates! He's my boyfriend!"
Now, if you've been going out for a while, and he still hasn't asked, then you could tell your friends you're "unofficial" or something, but don't say he's a boyfriend if he's not. Guys don't like that.
just over a week after we first went out my boyfriend brought me a dozen roses and asked me to be his girlfriend. it's been seven months. we had seen each other every day since we first started dating, and we had been friends for months, so it seemed like good timing. i had an ex-boyfriend ask me to be his girlfriend the second day we met (on our second date) but basically all that means is, do you want to be in a committed relationship with me? and i did.
i think it's good to get to know a person a bit before calling him your boyfriend/girlfriend but at the same time, i'd rather use that phrase too early than too late. if somebody isn't willing to be your boyfriend or girlfriend after a month, i don't think they'll ever be ready. at least that's my past experience.
Well, a lot of times with younger teenagers (12--16, maybe 17) they only get to see each other in schools, and on weekends if their parents want to drive them to their "boyfriend's/girlfriend's" house. So, after admitting you "like like" each other, you're automatically together.
For me and my boyfriend it was different because we met online...and not on a dating site either. So, we just consider the day we met our official anniversary date to keep track of things. We've been together almost 11 months now.
There is no "right time" or "wrong time"; it just depends on the people in the relationship.
you are doing the best. well-builted and honest.
My boyfriend considered us boyfriend/girlfriend after we had gone out on like 4 or 5 dates, but he didn't tell me that! Haha I had to assume that we were boyfriend and girlfriend and just changed my Facebook relationship status.
Your little two week rule is ridiculous. Each relationship is different. You could be with someone for months and not be "official", or it could take just one or two dates. Why does the "official" title matter so much anyway? Just have fun with the person and don't worry so much about it.
i liek the word "with" or "talking to" and sometimes i say "bf-ish." hahaha.
I've never had a boyfriend, so I've never really had to worry about it. The oh-we've-been-going-out-for-two-weeks-so-he-must-be-my-boyfriend-OMG!!!! thing just sounds really superficial. There is this guy, though, and we might be kinda close to such a stage, but, he is, first and foremost, my friend. I'd introduce him as such, and I don't really care how we'd end up "official". It'd probably have something to do with facebook, though, or being introduced to his friends (he knows mine).
until he asks me to be official, he's not my boyfriend.
there isn't really a set time...my dating periods range between a couple days to a month before the guys have asked me to be a girlfriend. up to that point, we're "seeing each other," or "talking" etc. however sometimes we act like we're already official when we aren't, and i get confused because idk if HE thinks we're official or not. so i usually start the convo off with "what is THIS?" and then it usually ends with us being together haha
there really isn't a set time. i don't need to know everything about a guy before we become official. sometimes you just know. i would never use a two-week rule if i knew after 4 days i wanted a guy exclusively to myself.
Each person/relationship is different.
When I started going out with my SO...we made it official. He was my bf and I was his gf, committed and monogamous. This was in high school...
six and a half years later we are still happily together.
So, it's really up to the people involved and frankly, it's their business.
There really is no set time.
Until it is officially agreed on by both parties my friends and I call them our "dudes" lol
I don't understand how you can have a boyfriend you've only been with a couple weeks, usually its after a month or two of seeing each other the guy asks me to be his girlfriend and I say yes. If it was after the first date I'd be like umm... I dont even know you, you don't know me... why would you want to be committed to me?
I just figure it's official when one of the parties says "hey, so do you want to be my boyfriend/girlfriend?"
I mean.
Takes the ridiculousness out of it all.
If you think it's too soon, say "no, I need some more time."
THEN, just ask or tell the other party when you feel comfortable about being official "hey yea, i mean if you're still interested. i'm good with being boyfriend - girlfriend."
I don't know there should be an actual time.
I've always just gone about it by asking people... but then again I typically date people in my own friend circle I've been talking to for some time already. I think part of being a bf/gf is using that relationship to learn about each other and build trust.
every relationship is different. there is no actual time frame of when you can call someone your gf/bf. my bf and i made it official the same day we went out meeting through a friend as a group. a year and half later; we're still going strong.
2 week is a good length of time.
my bf and i got together officially after about two weeks too~on valentine's day
but i think every couple is different...some got together sooner, some later, some have to ask officially, some don't have to ask officially...i think as long as both parties are fine with the time frame&explicit or implicit agreement, then its up to them to decide if getting together is too soon or too late. whatever suits them
All relationships are different. Usually it's "Will you be my girlfriend/boyfriend?" "Yes!" And done.
you have a "DTR"(determine the relationship) talk and then if she says yes, you have a girlfriend!
Once we decide to be exclusively committed to each other. Than can be after 2 weeks, or 2 months, just depends.
Hah, I had a old friend of mine ask me that awhile ago. "How do you know when you're boyfriend/girlfriend?" And I'm like "...When she askes you to be her boyfriend? Or vice versa?" That walk to 3rd period was pretty awkward...
"being with someone" is tricky. What I mean is..... I believe there is a difference between dating and a relationship. I think there is a difference. I mean yes with my wife, there wasn't that much f a dating period. It was more like a "will you be with me moment?" but in my past dating experience... there was a clear distinction.
But normally my answer is this, the time I ask someone if they would like to get to know each other better (and physically doesn't count here with me) and each time we see each other the conversation and everything becomes on a deeper level, then that person has a better chance of me calling them my boyfriend or girlfriend.
it's all based on how you deem important to label one thing over another. when i first met my bf, we only saw each other once a week. on our 4th, we decided to be exclusive and i had some naysayers telling me that we're acting like kids but i disagree. who gives a shit if it's been a day if YOU and HE feel something worth holding onto? For you, a week is probably not long enough to be in a "serious relationship" but the perspective of what is "serious" may be different in your opinion and mine, no? Same goes for what is the "appropriate time period" before one becomes a "boy/girlfriend", no? lol
have the talk. it's not as dramatic and 'scary' as these ridiculous FRIENDS like sitcomes like to pretend it is... it's necessary to understand where two parties stand in the interconnected web we call RELATIONSHIP. That's how you know~
It took us two years before he asked me to be his gf.
By this time, he already meant the world to me and I had to say yes.
Either he was unsure to ask me earlier or it was his strategy to make me agree.
I remember I was talking to a friend of mine, and she asked me if I and my now-ex were together, and I said I didn't know and she looked at me weird. Haha. He didn't really have a title, we just referred to him by his name. And anyone who wasn't a close friend of mine and didn't know what was going on between me and him, didn't even know about him, so I didn't really ever have to address him as something.
When my friend asked me if we were together as boyfriend/girlfriend though, I actually texted him asking him. Haha. That's the actual conversation in which we decided we actually were boyfriend/girlfriend. I just asked him. It was interesting.
So, to answer the question a little better without my story, you shouldn't really set a certain amount of time before you consider them your boyfriend or girlfriend. You just have to think about what you're feeling. I mean, if you want to be with someone, so that you're boyfriend/girlfriend, then just do it. Just have a conversation about it and if you both feel the same way then go for it.
for me to consider them a boyfriend, we have to actually have the talk to put everything in the open and accept that we're going to use that term for each other. i need the commitment. each person is different.