After a happy month of going out and romantic scenes, my beautiful friend lost her virginity to her boyfriend. She felt it was right because he made her feel special and beautiful all the time. No other guy has ever made her feel that way. He would bring her a flower every day. He would look at her deeply even when she wasn't looking. He would whisper words of love in her ear. She really fell for him. Well a week after they had sex, he broke up with her. He couldn't handle the pressure anymore. All of a sudden he couldn't hang out with her anymore because he had too much homework and he wanted to dedicate time to his friends.
She was heartbroken. For the first time since I've known her, and we've known each other for a very long time, she cried. Now she feels ugly. She feels like he broke up with her because her body is fat and unappealing. And this isn't the first time this happens to a friend of mine.
Now I just have some very confusing questions for guys. How does a girl having sex with you early in the relationship change your perspective of her? Why if you are so romantic at first, leave the girl? Is it because you got what you want? Is that all you wanted?
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Comments (129)
Sounds like that's all he wanted. Guess he knew exactly what to do in order to get what he was looking for. Guys like that suck :/
He probably just got what he wanted.
Wish I knew the answer.
But it does seem like that's all he was working towards and then came up with a lame excuse when it came time to back out.
honestly, it seems like he was looking for sex. and well, taking a girl's virginity is an awesome boost to guys. so once he got it, he's off.
maybe thats all he wanted and after he got it, it wasnt how he wanted it to be?
:/
If that was his goal, then he totally fucking sucks.
In fact, I hate him.
That guy is a playa! Find a way to play him back!
It's amazing how this guy's life overwhelmed him right after he had sex with your friend. Such a coincidence. Seriously, that's just a dick move. No one should violate another's trust like that especially in such an intimate way.
Welcome to 90% of the male population's thought process towards relationships. Lol.
I think it's more troubling that you seem to be surprised by this type of behavior.
Obviously he just got what he wanted.
But this isn't always the case, I'll admit my boyfriend and I had sex pretty early on in our relationship and when asking him some of these questions he said that it didn't change his perspective of me at all. It just happened, we ran with it, and moved on.
Your friend isn't wrong, she just fell in the most common trap. But just like live_for_love, I had sex pretty early (really early - a week only) in my relationship with my girlfriend and ... we're still together after 11 months and a half and I still love her more than ever. It's not always the case that a guy will want to have sex with you early then leave, but like Dustin_wind and IfIWereAchilles said, welcome to 90% of the male population's thought process towards "relationships" or cough cough "take advantage of you", and lol @ you for being surprised of this such behavior.
because he's a jerk and got what he wanted and then left. if a guy's going to do that to me, he's not worth me even crying over.
That's all he wanted. Some guys are like that, some aren't. It's best to hold out for awhile. I'd say 2-3 months.
Shocking.
Unfortunately many guys are like this. They tell you what you want to hear, do what you want to see them do, then they get what they want and leave. I think your friend found one of those guys. There's nothing wrong with her though. She just fell into the trap. Don't let her bring herself down.
What a jerk move. I can only think of two reasons.
1) That was his goal all along or
2) The sex must had really suck ass.
I guess this is why I don't sleep with a guy unless I am in a serious and committed relationship with him.
That just sucks. I'm sorry for your friend.
I guess that's life... live and learn... :(
all players are going to "make her special and beautiful." i started noticing a pattern in guys i dated, the players ALWAYS start by calling you beautiful... but they also call every other girl they've ever had any sort of interaction with beautiful. they act really nice and sweet and then you have sex with them and they're gone. it doesn't make her fat or mean she's bad at sex or whatever, it just makes him a nasty asshole.
I don't honestly know,but i do wish to know..
every time is sexy time ;)
jk
but the title did catch my attention.
What a jerk.
This situation isn't applied to every guy, it sort of sounds like that's where your questions are trying to take this.
In this situation, it sounds like the guy did the woo-and-screw. He knew how to get your friend to feel more comfortable, had sex with her, and saw no purpose in continuing the relationship. There could be other factors, but it seems most likely that he was in it for sexy time.
guys think that if you sleep with them early, you're too easy.
Your beautiful friend should've known better.
And frankly, I'm kinda disgusted by how many people here, women and men, think this is normal for guys.
It isn't. When a man gets into a relationship with a woman, it is rarely "only" about sex. That's not to say there aren't people like that out there, but under normal circumstances, it doesn't happen that way. A guy who just wants sex can find it pretty damn easily without having to pretend to be in a relationship.
It seriously sucks that your friend got her heart broken, but there's a good chance that the guy's reason is legitimate. He probably DIDN'T take that relationship nearly as seriously as she did but, honestly, that should be something they should've discussed before she gave up her virginity to him.
Also, why is her concept of self-worth hinging entirely on whether or not a guy finds her attractive? Sounds a little bit ridiculous to me. Not to lay blame on the victim, but that whole "my life depends on you" bit is a pretty good sign that she was taking this relationship WAY too seriously for one that was one month old. It's pretty likely she scared the (possibly) poor guy away jumping in that fast.