Sunday, 20 September 2009

  • Texting Has Ruined My Love Life

     So the other day, my friend and I were discussing how text messaging is ruining our love lives. 

    I sometimes feel I can express myself better via text so the other day, I texted the last guy I was seeing that I was mad at him.  Well, let me rephrase that ... I text him saying that I felt sick to my stomach and wanted to vomit knowing that he had slept with someone else and that he made me feel all dirty inside and worthless; I felt like he didn't respect me.  And instead of saying, "I'm sorry" or at least pretending like he cared, he didn't respond at all.  Which of course just made me even more angry.

    Then my friend tells me that her relationship with her boyfriend of a year or so has come down to massive text message arguments.  When they're together, they hardly argue but when they're apart, they're constantly arguing via text.  And it drives her crazy when he doesn't respond to her text.

    And then, I asked her, "When's the last time you actually talked to your boyfriend on the phone?"  And she had to literally go through her call log to see when was the last time she had talked to him on the phone--two weeks ago.

    We both decided that text messages are ruining our love lives.  Instead of talking to the other person in person or even over the phone about our relationship problems, we have the tendency to over-text our feelings and emotions and the only response is the lack of response which in turn makes us even more angry about the situation.

    I hate having to wait for someone to reply to my text.  And unlike a real conversation were the person actually has to respond to your questions or thoughts or whatnots, a person can simply to choose to ignore what you have to say -- and in reality, ignore you.

    Is anybody else annoyed by the lack of response when sending a text?  Or worst, yet, are you one of those people who simply choose to click the "ignore" button?  And if so, why?  Or am I just overreacting about this ... as I do with everything else?  I mean, I think that if they respond back, they are showing they acknowledge you and your feels and if they don't respond back, they don't respect you or care for you, hence why they're not responding back.  What are your thoughts on text messaging your feelings or arguments?

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Comments (95)

  • johnny_hopkins@xanga

    I think if you really care about your relationship, you'll put more effort in.  It goes both ways for both people in it, too.  
  • WMSchick09@xanga

    If he slept with someone else, and you're still waiting for him, I find that really upsetting and annoying, frankly.

    You shouldn't even have to wait for him.
    He doesn't even deserve you, and you don't need him.
    He obviously doesn't care that much to do something like that.

    Basically if he's not responding, then he doesn't care to respond, and doesn't care about how you feel.

    That's how it seems to be.
  • Imnotcrazyjustinsane@xanga

    When a relationship has disintegrated to the point where it is just text message arguments, you need to reevaluate.

  • Werewolf_of_London@xanga

    Yeah i feel the same way as u do. Text messaging in fact.. ruined mine. Its frustrating and annoying and by the time they reply, your pissy and ready to explode on them and it just starts into a fight everytime. I HATE waiting, i'm very impatient. And i did not like when she didnt show me the same consideration as i did her. Meaning, i replied as quick as possible to not leave her hanging. Idk, it was just a big mess.


    But then as walden_thoreau has said : "I think if you really care about your relationship, you'll put more effort in.  It goes both ways for both people in it, too."  That is also true too.

  • screamin_carrot@xanga

    if you guys hate having the tendency of pouring your emotions and whatnot through your texts, just don't.
    face your guy with what you feel and and as you said, they have to respond to you in some way other than ignoring you.
    put the effort into having you guys communicate a lot better if you feel your relationship's worth it.
  • vyxrawr@xanga

    I have a texting problem with my boyfriend as well.  The difference is that we do talk to each other in person/on the phone a lot.  But whenever we get into a fight, we hang up on each other, and then continue our argument via text.  Most of the time it gets solved via text, but does it really? I always wonder if it's truly solved if we can't even TALK about it and can only TEXT about it. 

    So I must say text hasn't ruined my relationship, if anything it's what keeps it together.  But I can't help but wonder how long we can rely on texts to solve our problems ..

  • xx0behindthesmile@xanga

    it's better in person. you can see their facial expressions, and sometimes things you say via text/online can be misconstrued (if that's how you spell it). a phone call or in person is more mature and better.


    but in your situation? he doesn't deserve a text or anything. he's an asshole for cheating.
  • jms2508@xanga

    wow. this just happened last night. i was really upset and the guy i was texting just ignored the texts and didnt even care to respond. just makes it that much better....
  • Sounds0fLaughter@xanga

    If texting has ruined your love life.. stop texting!


    I saw that it could be a problem when I first started texting a lot, so I made a habit of saying the important things face to face. It's worked out pretty well for almost 3 years now.
    Wow. 3 years. I wonder how many texts I've sent by now? lol
  • i_r_keiko@xanga

    I don't text.  If I did, and my boyfriend cheated on me, I wouldn't text the conversation to him.

    You are acting as if texting is the only possible outlet, and it's not.  You make the choice to do it, so I really have little sympathy for your situation.
  • purplepanda27@xanga

    if you want instant responses then call.

    i don't give instant responses with text, if i respond at all... i feel that if they have your phone number, then CALLING makes more sense.texting seems like an option when you're unable to talk.. like during classes or only making a note/reminder.there are so many methods of communication in today's world, i don't know why everyone gets so caught up with texting as if you can't contact the person any other way.
  • methodElevated@xanga

    I think texting makes people socially lazy.  This is just another example of that.  Focus on worthwhile communication skills, and I think that might clear up some of your problems.
  • innocent_inclination@xanga

    the wait for their replies just kill me...
  • InTheThin@xanga

    I feel like it takes a lot of the humanness out of conversations. I find that my arguments that I had with my then-boyfriend were a lot more cruel, sarcastic, and insensitive when we argued online. When we argued in person, we were far more respectful and willing to listen to each other.
  • IfIWereAchilles@xanga

    I would recommend becoming an adult first before engaging in relationships.
  • ShimmerBodyCream@xanga

    Don't have sex until you are married. WIll fix that problem.
  • astudyinemerald@xanga

    I don't think you should be texting serious/heavy/emotional things, unless you have absolutely no other way to communicate and the issue can't wait.

    That you would text someone to let them know you're angry seems oddly un-confrontational to me. I wouldn't know how to respond to a message like that--on the one hand, the words are harsh. On the other hand, it's a very casual and impersonal medium. I might ignore the message too, until I had the opportunity to talk in person.

    So, as many people have said, if texting is becoming an issue than don't use it for important things. It's one thing to text "what time is the movie?" or "remind me to get..." and an entirely different thing to try and open up a serious dialogue through texting.
  • laurenmaureen@xanga

    i get this completely. it's really bad, sometimes. too much textingg..
  • getta_ring_on_it

    you are totally right. i think it also trains people to think that not responding is an okay option even in non-texting situations. i know in my "massive texting arguments" it is usually completely one-sided, me spilling my guts waiting for a response that never arrives, and then when i get on the phone with him to have a real conversation about it my guy now just doesn't say a word if he doesn't have anything he plans on saying.
  • JazzedUpArcher@xanga

    Are you listening to yourself? It's TEXTING!!! 

    If I were in that situation, I wouldn't respond to you simply because of the fact that you were texting me. A relationship requires real communication. On the phone, in person. TALKING. Not texting. I feel like when someone texts me their feelings, they aren't brave enough to talk to me in person, that, or they don't respect me enough to do it in person. Not to say that I don't text. My boyfriend and I text each other throughout the day when we're both busy doing other things and don't have time for a phone conversation, but we talk to each other every night on the phone, or we hang out. If we argue, we talk to each other. Texting is an easy way to distance yourself from the situation, so you might end up saying things that you don't mean. It's like arguing over instant messaging on the computer. And like you said, maybe when they don't respond, they're just ignoring you. Because obviously, it's easy to do when someone texts you! If you really want a person to know how you're feeling, and guarantee that they will pay attention, you should do it face to face. Otherwise, you'll never know if they got the text, or if they even care. Texting is a horrible way to communicate in a relationship. You should stop now. 
  • lauracake@xanga

    I think a lot of this new age technology ruined our lives.  -.-
  • xbreak_dance_NOT_hearts19X@xanga

    I would just try my best to actually talk to my significant other person to person.



    And ditto @lauracake
  • Insomnia_Pickles_XtraTomato@xanga

    @IfIWereAchilles@xanga - uh ya

    if you're arguing about him CHEATING, via text message, and your biggest concern is that he won't respond??

    a lot of people have relationships where they see each other in real life, and talk about all kinds of things when they do so.
  • pawnshop_heart@xanga

    Ummm...stop texting important issues. It's pretty much common sense. Call someone or ask them to meet you somewhere that you can talk face to face. Text messaging is such a cowardly way of doing things.
  • XoAsianBabioX@xanga

    thats why you don't text important things like that. even over the phone is ridiculous. face to face is always best.

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