I'm an Asian living in Asia. And I'm a lesbian.
Compared to the States, it really sucks being gay here. As I'm only 16, there are many things I can't do, such as: vote or sound out my opinions in public because I'm "just a kid." Anyway, it has never been easy for me (and other LGBTs) to survive here because of firstly, traditions and secondly, religion. Especially when all of my extended family happens to be Christian, and I have attended Church since the day I was born.
I was chatting with friends the other night, and we came across the topic of Christianity.
One of my friend, let's call her A, is 31. And my other friend, B.
Me: So,how did you two (A and B) meet again?
A: We met at a church. I was a church leader and B was one of my 'students' there.
Me: (confused) Why did you stop going back to church then?
A: I didn't. They (church people) said that I must repent of my "so-called" sins. If not, I can't return there. And I didn't repent because really, what has my sexual orientation gotta do with my faith?
It's really very pathetic how Christians drive us away from church just because of our sexuality. You see, one thing I found out about these self-proclaimed Christians is that they don't really follow what the Bible says most of the time, but when it comes to the homosexuality part, yes they tend to get very serious about it. Which is, in here, discrimination again. So tell me, pastors, didn't God tell you to love your neighbor as yourself? Why do people have to make drama out of our sexual orientation and kick us out of Church when 'normal' heterosexual people cheats and lie and do all kinds of other 'evil' things?
Has your religion ever impacted your relationships in a negative way? In a positive way?
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Comments (155)
I dunno what to say.
I'm just glad I'm straight. No bents in me.
i'm sorry about the christians you are meeting, they aren't real christians. real christians love everyone and would never turn a soul away from god. they would tell someone their lifestyle wasn't right, but they'd never deny a person love.
i do believe that homosexuality is a sin. but the bible says that all sins are equal in the eyes of god and no one has the right to judge those sins but god himself. and about churches, my church would never turn away anyone. we have people of all sorts there, homosexuals, drug addicts, we don't turn people away.
Negative impact, definitely.
i agree with you, lying is just as bad as being gay and people lie all the time. no one is perfect. if we were all perfect, we wouldn't need jesus.
my church refused to marry me and my ex a few years back because being 18 they thought i was pregnant and rushing into things. funny how i wasn't pregnant then. now that i am pregnant with my boyfriend i'm dating they keep asking when i'm getting married.
i tend to just go to church, worship god, and not get to involved in everything else. because at the end of the day all that matters is him and what he thinks.
There's nothing wrong with being a part of the LGBT crowd.
If people can't accept you for who you are, then it's their loss.
I dont go to church or associate with "Christians" because of stereotypical "hating" way that they treat people. I do my own thing now. I don't judge others. Everyone is responsible for their own actions and who am I to judge them. I was basicly exilled from my childhood church because I refused to accept their chavenistic beliefs and suppression of women. I am not a lesbian. I have a husband. I have "been" with women before though- it was fun- but it wasnt my cup of tea. I dont care what other people do. Whatever makes them happy and as long as it does not harm anyone else- Why does anyone else care. Perhaps those churches should turn their attention to more important issues- like saving peoples souls- like their "God" wanted them to do in the first place.
I believe homosexuality is a sin, but I wouldn't single you out for it if you came to my church. I think we'd accept you as we accept ourselves with our sins. Some people might take that to be a kind of double-talk, but I think it's completely consistent with, and implied by, the teachings of Jesus.
@gracefulpreeminence@xanga - I have to totally agree with you on this one.
I come from a major fundamental christian household and I am bi. I recently told my mother and for some reason I am pretty sure my brother knows now because he seems to be shuting his mouth about the gay jokes lately.
At this point it has gotten to the point where I just decided that I don't give a fuck what ANYONE thinks of me anymore and if they are courageous enough to confront me about it, which they are NOT, I will kick there ass.
Problem was before I got into powerlifting people would fuck with me, and if it wasn't for the fact that I am now involved with powerlifting they would surely fuck with me, especially now knowing about my bisexuality. But the fact that everyone knows I can kick there ass, nobody has the courage to even consider starting a conflict with me.
I don't know what to tell this girl. Since she is so young they will definitely push her around. It seems like the only thing she can do is either stay in the closet which she will get tired of, or she can say fuck it, come out and pay the consequences. I wish you luck little sister!
I've never been able to figure out why Christianity has had such a problem with homosexuality. I just don't see how that could be a "sin", when so many straight people are doing worse (having affairs, lying, etc.)
Like you, I don't think that sexuality has anything to do with religion. Sexuality, when it comes to believing in a God, seems trivial to me, as it hurts NO ONE.
I wish you the best of luck, and I'm so sorry about your situation. I wish that I could offer you some advice, but all I can do is let you know that I agree with you 100%. :)
This person is possessed by gay demons! Repent! Repent!
Totally joking. I don't get religion at all. Especially those who quote that one line from Leviticus. I thought Jesus was about accepting everyone, not shunning someone out because of who they are.
I'm sorry you have to go through that. Remember though, those who stick with you are your true friends.
- Kunoichi
@OddlyRegina@xanga - The problem with homosexuality is that it thwarts God's plan for marriage with one man and one woman. You say there are other people out there doing "worse" things, but there is no "ranking scale" with God when it comes to sin. They all weigh the same. Sexuality does play a part with religion because if a person loves God then they honor Him with their bodies, which means not using it in ways that are not according to His plan.
@KrazeeKunoichi009@xanga - Jesus loved everyone, and no sinner was too far gone for Him to reach, but He still told people to "go and sin no more."
@OddlyRegina@xanga - That's the thing, you're thinking of those really radical Christians who condemn all homosexuals and automatically turn them away, saying they're going to hell. That's not a proper attitude, and those Christians are really misguided and they have lots of problems that should be addressed on their own. As long as you're alive, you have a chance to repent and get better, so if a homosexual comes to church, you take them in the same way you take a repentant drug abuser, alcoholic, fornicator, anything at all. Because that's what Jesus did. Big difference here: Most people who return or go to church with a repentant heart about doing drugs or abusing alcohol, go in there wanting to change right away, immediately realizing that what they're doing is destructive to themselves and that it's something they know God doesn't approve of. Homosexuality, on the other hand, is something that's being embraced in our culture so it doesn't seem as wrong. But to a real Christian, all of this is equal. So if you come into church as a homosexual or you feel like you're developing attraction to the same sex, Christians expect you to feel the same remorse for that the same way you'd feel if you were sleeping around or doing drugs. But most people who are homosexual hide behind "Jesus loves everyone" and think it's ok. Yes, your sexuality harms no one. Neither does your fornication, though. And if you're a single person, neither does your drug use or constant drunkenness. And that's still a sin that a homosexual could clearly identify. Jesus does love everyone, but he doesn't love sin and if you refuse to acknowledge that issue, then you can't really complain. If you're a Christian, and you adhere to all of the other rules of the Bible, you can't ignore the part where it includes homosexuality as sexual immorality, which is defined as sin.
@KrazeeKunoichi009@xanga - Leviticus was before Jesus came and a lot of the rules were changed. That's Old Testament law. New Testament, Jesus arrives and gives everyone a chance, but sins remain sins. It's the repercussions of those sins (such as shunning described in Leviticus) that no longer apply. Now, it's about asking for forgiveness and showing a true attempt to change.
To the poster, I would recommend seriously recommend you approaching the church. But the thing is, you say you're sexuality has nothing to do with your faith? As a Christian, yes it does. If you believe in Christ, believe the Bible, and all that comes along, then you should look up the passages where homosexuality is addressed and reconsider what you're saying. Romans 1:24 and Timothy 1:10 to start. About the church treating you the way they do, talk to them and explain how you want them to reach out and be loving, not judgmental and automatically cutting you off because there's also plenty examples of love and care in the Bible to look up, too. But you should understand what you're saying. To anyone here who doesn't believe in God or Jesus, don't post about how it's unfair and it's stupid. Obviously if you don't believe in God, none of this applies to you and we can't force our morals or beliefs on you. But any Christian who believes homosexuality doesn't matter, then re-read and speak to a pastor.
I don't know how Asia became so Christianized. I must have been playing one of my computer games when it happened. Anyways, forget the tight wads in your church. It's all about the 'personal Jesus' these days.
My ex is Catholic and I'm an Atheist. Religion didn't affect our relationship much, surprisingly.
If you are sure that a lesbian is who you are, then I would be content with that. I know that religion can have many effects on a family. My best advice is either to wait to tell them because you are really young and that might make them even more upset, or you can go up to the one family member you trust the most and just really open up to them, they love you and if they see how nervous and sad you are, and how scared you are of how they'll react then I'm sure they will TRY to understand, but they never fully will. Show them some sites about open churches who support all types of people.
Hope everything gets better! :)
Allison
@soyeahthatswhathappened@xanga - Agreed; REAL Christians love you for who you are, regardless. And sin or not, homosexuality wouldn't be a "worse" sin than anything else.
Personally? I don't know if I believe it's a sin, but I don't really care either way. And I'm straight, so I've been fortunate enough to not have to face that obstacle (although certainly other obstacles take its place). Luckily, I go to a Christian church that truly advocates loving and accepting EVERYONE - in fact, they hold a GLBT service and openly advocate that laws be passed for equal rights for the GLBT community. Just because someone is part of the GLBT community does not mean they shouldn't be loved, nor does it mean that God won't accept them. It means that everyone else should love and accept them too.
@sarahzthoughts@xanga - Dude, I don't think it's that easy to just say, "I'm going to stop being gay!"
What kind of environment is that for someone to grow up in? No one will really accept you, they just think that who you are is something that can be easily molded by demonizing it and go through hours of prayer. I know it's easier to say, "Just accept it, be happy with yourself and live your life."
However, it will never be that easy, especially if there are people out there who hate what you are, even though they don't know you as a person. Repression is terrible and shouldn't be encouraged. I'd probably support the churches a bit more if they really accepted who believes in what they believe, regardless of their orientation. Maybe offer some support for those who are having a hard time with the teasing or whatnot. I don't know.
I'm suddenly reminded why I call myself "agnostic".
- Kunoichi
@KrazeeKunoichi009@xanga - I never said it was that easy. I was just explaining the Christian logic behind the concept.
@sarahzthoughts@xanga - Mah, still. Maybe it should be changed..just a little?
If we're all children of god, shouldn't god be entitled to a few gay sons and lesbian daughters? :D
- Kunoichi
I'm agnostic, but used to be Christian...there's nothing wrong with being LGBT. :P
@KrazeeKunoichi009@xanga - Well, to clarify, it's not homosexuality itself that is the sin...it's acting on the desires.
@OddlyRegina@xanga - Whether it's a sin or not is not the issue. Everyone sins. Period. Even if you don't believe in sin, you can admit that everyone does things that are inhererntly wrong, willingly. The issue is that Christians who should welcome anyone with arms wide open are pushing them out of the way because of an action. It's ok to hate the sin, you don't have to agree with everything everyone does. But you should respect them for coming out about it. And still be there friends regardless. However that's not the way things go in real life. There are fools on both sides of the fence, and none of them will live by a live and let live basis.
@FireYourBoss@xanga - lol u must've been playing a video game!!! pfffffffffftttttttt ur funny
uuuggggggghhhhhhhhh
who fucking cares if a church doesnt accept u
u will find one that does if u need to go to church but god is in u not a church
its not only gays that some churches wont accept
it all depends on the church
fuck the lot of them
damn
how can anyone say what god cares about and considers sins
its humans which decides sin
@yoshistar@xanga - Agreed
I think your church needs a reform of sorts... a church should never be turning away people.